Daddy

The mistake.

I started to slowly open my eyes when the sun hit me through the window curtains, it was wednesday, my mom was leaving the town for another business trip. I didn't really know how to feel about that, i was more than fine with her doing her thing, she loved her job. But lately... I wanted her to be more around.. I wished she could stay at home with me.. But she couldn't, and i wasn't planning to stop her.

"Lilia, i made some coffee for you!"

I heard my mom's voice from the kitchen downstairs. I should get up, but fucking hell it's too early..

Slowly pushing my blanket away from my body, i stood up and walked to the door. Opening it made cracking sounds in the hallway like it always did. I rubbed my eyes while walking downstairs to see my mom reading the newspaper with her fancy suit on, sipping her coffee with her legs crossed. Her red heels already on as she was ready to take off.

"Good morning mom"

I smiled and kissed her cheek grabbing the cup of coffee from the kitchen counter.

"Good morning sweetheart, did you sleep well?"

She was smiling as usually, it got me happy during all this shit i was going through right now with my personal life.

"Yeah, i did thank you"

I lean against the counter, hoping she doesn't realize i was actually lying, once again.
I kept drinking my coffee while having a small talk with mom, i'm so gonna miss her the next week when she's gone. Usually people at my age would be happy to have the whole house only for themselves.. Not me. Not when i know what is waiting for me again.

After the breakfast it was time to say goodbye. I kissed my mom's cheek again as we were saying our goodbyes, it was going to be a long ass week without her around. After mom grabbed her suitcase and headed out from the house, i found myself running into my room, i was late, once again.. Quickly i made my grayish silver hair up on a ponytail, applying some light make up on, changing into my white crop top and black skinny jeans i was ready to go.
I was anxious, no wonder.
For 6 past months, i have been carrying huge secrets. No one knows shit about what's going on. I am a coward, i'm scared.
Never in my life i thought i would need to be scared over shit like this, but i can't tell anyone, not even my own mom. It breaks me a little inside every single time mom asks me what's wrong and all i can do is lie how everything is great.

I took my time walking to school with my thoughts, i have got such a day dreamer these days. Im shutting inside my own shell, not letting anyone inside my head.

This is not a life i wanted.

---

School was tiring and time kept crawling, i just wanted to curl into my bed and watch netflix till i fall asleep so i wouldnt need to think nor need to spend time with anyone.

"Hey Lilia!"

I turned around to see Shane walking towards me and the anxious feeling i got. I felt sick, i wanted to run and throw up. You might think who wants to run and throw up because of their own boyfriend, crazy, well i did. I wasn't in the greatest mind to see him right now.

"Hey"

i smiled awkwardly as he kissed my cheek and wrapped his arm around me. How good actor can he be when there is other people around.

"I heard your mom is out of town"

this creepy smirk he has. It creeps the shit out of me everytime cause i know shit won't end up well. It's going to be one another night which im going to regret and blame myself over. Why cant I just end this, what a coward am i?

"Umm... yea, she left this morning. Why?"

I tried to keep my fake smile up, feeling a shiver run along my spine when his hand found my ass.

"I'm coming over after school. I have some funny business for us"

He groped my ass before turning around and walking to another direction, not even giving me a chance to complain or say no. Goodbye netflix and sleep, say hello to another hell of a night.

---

After school i kept getting even more nervous.
Not sounding like a normal relationship should right? Our relationship with Shane wasnt close to normal. Well, it was really complicated, unnormal and unhealthy even.
People keep talking how lucky i'm to have him. Yes, he has looks..

Dirty blonde hair
blue eyes
he's tall
having this perfect smile with dimples

But his personality once you get to know him. He has multipale personalities, he totally is a narcissist. Once he gets mad, he let his monster self out, he gets abusive. He have hit me before if i talk back at him, if i say no, if i dress wrong, if i even talk to another people. No matter what, if he gets mad, he gets abusive. Every single thing we fight over, if he abuses me im the one who gets the blame, he doesnt see anything wrong with his behavior.
I know i should break up with him, but how? I'm scared as hell to be honest. And no, even my best friends doesn't know. I have been holding this secret for so long i cant seem to get out of this anymore.

---

A walk at home took like forever, Shane kept talking and talking, yet i have no idea about what. I was so deep into my thoughts for the whole way home. When we finally reached my house, i saw a tall man figure standing in front of my door and when he finally turned around..

I somehow knew my life was about to change for forever.