I wouldn't say that I'm avoiding Harry, but these past few days I've been spending an awful lot of times in my room where I don't have to constantly be around him.
As much as I refuse to admit it, being around him reminds me of what I saw a few days ago and each time I'm reminded of that, I feel a heavy weight settle on my chest and dark cloud above my head.
I haven't questioned him about Audrey and I don't plan on asking him about her anytime soon. It's better if he doesn't know that I saw him with her. And besides, if I do bring up Audrey in our brief conversation, that'll only lead him into thinking that I'm jealous. I'm not.
At least that's what I've been telling myself whilst I try to figure out what to do with my feeling towards Harry: Should I suppress it? Should I let him know? I don't know.
So, at the moment the best thing to do is to be alone so I don't have to see him or look at his face for longer than five seconds.
I'm pretty certain that Harry doesn't notice that I've avoided contacts with him, thankfully, because if he does, I'm sure he'll be bugging me about it. So far, he hasn't done that, though I have a feeling that's about to change.
"Beverly?" I hear him call out from the hallway. I freeze, my fingers hovering over the keyboard as I hear his footsteps coming closer and closer. Soon, there's a knock on the door. "Are you in there?"
I clear my throat, "Yeah."
"Can I come in?"
"Uh, yeah, sure."
The door swings open and his smile is the first thing I see. The first and the only because I keep my eyes fixed on my laptop after that. I've only recently accepted the fact that being around Harry or looking at him is enough to make my heart beat faster. It's weird because I'm so used to feeling nothing but annoyance towards him. But now there's more and these emotions sometimes fog up my brain – I don't like that.
"Have you got any plans for Christmas?" He asks out of the blue as he leans against the doorframe, arms crossed in front of his chest.
I look up from the screen of my laptop briefly. He's still wearing his expensive suit that fits him so well, so much so that I have to remind myself not to look at him for longer than five seconds. It's dangerous, he's dangerous. "Same old plan, I guess," I answer with a shrug.
"Yeah?" He's stepped into my room now, making his way to my bed. I continue to stare at the screen, refusing to look at him as I feel a dip at the edge of my bed. I can tell that he's smirking as he says, "D'you think you could include your husband in that same old plan?"
This time, he manages to pull my attention from my laptop and to him. He grins, showing off his teeth, the skin around his eyes crinkling. For a moment, I forgot what he said earlier. "I-Uh, you want to spend Christmas with my family?" I ask. He nods. "What about your family?"
"They can survive a Christmas without me," he shrugs as he runs his fingers through his hair, "not that they've never done that before."
The way he says it, as if it's not a big deal, makes it seems like that has happened a number of times before. And somehow, I can imagine young, hopeful Harry coming home for Christmas only to find that his parents weren't there because of work and he had to spend the rest of his holiday alone.
The thought of him sitting by the fireplace, curled up and lonely broke my heart – enough to make me nod my head and say, "Yeah, sure. You can come."
His face lights up as though I've just told him the greatest of news. The smile disappears a few seconds later, though, as his brows are pulled into a frown. "What should I get for your parents? And your sister?"
