But I don't love her anymore. I don't love her anymore.
Harry's simple yet heavy words are repeated in my head as though there's a broken record in there. Questions after questions fill my mind, but I can't seem to find a way to voice them out. I want to know the reason as to why he drops everything when it comes to her, I want to know why he prioritises her over anyone else, but I can't. Not when the voice in my head refuses to shut up.
That very voice keeps telling me that it's because Audrey still has a hold on him or it's because there's still a part of him that loves her. The latter makes my heart clench and I push that thought away immediately. I need to stop overthinking.
I didn't realise that I've zoned out until Harry clears his throat and his voice breaks my train of thoughts. "Bam- Beverly," he corrects himself before the nickname that has somehow stuck with me slips past his lips.
I look up and catch the way he shakes his head as though he's mentally scolding himself. He looks at me and that's when I notice how tired he looks. Like he hasn't gotten much sleep these past few days. Immediately, my mind drifts to the thought of him lying in his king size bed in the middle of the night, his eyes fixed on the ceiling whilst he tries to find ways to get himself to sleep. I know that because that's the same problem I've been facing.
"Beverly," his soft voice once again pulls me out of my reverie. "Please say something."
I clear my throat once, twice, as I think of something to say. "I-Thank you."
"Thank you?" He repeats my words, eyebrows raised.
"Yeah," I nod. "Thank you for telling me that."
"Oh."
"And I'm happy to hear that you're not in love with Audrey," I add sheepishly as I pick up a pen and fiddle with it. My voice is so soft, so low that I'm afraid he might have not heard me. But when he looks at me, his face lighting up, I know that my words didn't go unnoticed by him.
"Happy?" He teases and I know immediately that he's back. Cocky Harry is back and I roll my eyes at that. He opens his mouth to say something else, but his words are cut off by his mobile phone that suddenly starts ringing. He ignores it. "May I know why you're happy about that?"
On a second thought, maybe I shouldn't get excited about the return of Cocky Harry.
Harry's phone starts ringing again. Two lines appear between his brows as he pretends not to hear it.
"Pick it up," I tell him. He kinks an eyebrow as though to ask if it's really okay for him to pick it up and I nod.
He answers the call right before it ends and as soon as the greeting has been exchanged, his brows furrow and corners of his mouth turn downwards. "Alright, I'll be there soon." He looks up, then, and lets out a sigh. "I have a meeting to attend."
"Oh, okay."
Harry gets up from the chair and buttons his suit. Running his fingers through his hair, he looks around my office room as if he doesn't really want to leave. "We'll continue this conversation later?" He sounds so unsure, so unlike of him.
I stand up as well and move around the desk to make my way towards him. "Yeah, sure."
He hesitates for a moment as his eyes move from the door to me, his fingers drumming against his thigh. "So, I'll see you later?" He asks before quickly adding, "If you decide to come home, that is."
"I-"
"If you don't want to, it's okay," he tells me before I get the opportunity to get a word out. He leans forward and presses his lips against my cheek. The kiss ends as quickly as it begins and next thing I know he's already making his way out of my office room. Seconds before he closes the door behind him, he glances through his shoulder and shoots me a smile. The kind of smile that makes me stop breathing for a moment.
