Another Broken Eternity

now

i used to spend the night
dreaming of you

now i plot all the ways
to scream how you're wrong

i used to get
butterflies in my chest

now there's just a
heavy iron anchor

i used to be afraid
of how you'd react to my feelings

now i want you to know
so you can see how much you hurt me

i used to hate how you
always hoed around with other girls

now i watch with a distant jealousy
that feels more like hatred

maybe i should have known
that you never cared
you never really gave a damn
did you?

you played with my feelings
and never thought twice
even when you burned me alive
didn't you?

i just want you to know
how much i'm hurting
but i don't know how
to shove it down your throat

•••

author's note
expect a lot of poems filled with angst to be coming. hell broke lose inside of me recently all because of one boy that i finally realized never cared about my existence. honestly, screw him.