Another Broken Eternity

things i'll never say to you

i've been feeling more broken than alive
i've been feeling that all the time
and i'm sick of trying to make you mine
and trying to cross the line

i shouldn't be trying this hard
i shouldn't be falling apart
you never even broke my heart;
it was never in your arms

eyes meet across the room
i try not to stare back at you
because your eyes trail off to another girl
and i'm not her

so i'll shatter apart right in front of you
and you won't even move
to try and put me back together
and promise me a forever

because i don't even exist,
a fact you never miss
my words die on my lips
of things i'll never say to you

maybe it's jealousy over someone that isn't mine
maybe he fell for the lie that I'm just fine
and maybe he'll dance with her for the sixth time
maybe i'll disappear between the blink of an eye

do i deserve this?
to never be missed?
because when i disappeared completely
he never chased me

mascara fell down my face
i swore i wouldn't make a mistake
as i put myself back together
broken and lasting fornever

so i'll shatter apart right in front of you
and you won't even move
to try and put me back together
and promise me a forever

because i don't even exist,
a fact you never miss
my words die on my lips
of things i'll never say to you

my red dress trails after me
as i run from your memory
and you're haunting me
mercilessly

slowly the words tumbled from my lips
your face remained the same: nothing but missive
i decimated "us" with unthought-out passion
i ruined everything that might have ever happened

but you never cared

so i shattered apart right in front of you
and you didn't even move
to try and put me back together
you never promised me a forever

because i never even exist,
a fact you never missed
my words screamed from my lips
of things i accidentally said to you

i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm so damn sorry

that i ever fell apart
because of things i'll never say to you