Angels and Warriors // A.L

Chapter 27

"Are you going to come?" She asked. I knew exactly what she was talking about of course; Alec's wedding was in one hour and I didn't know whether or not to go.

I sighed, "Izzy, I don't know if I can." My mind flooded with previous thoughts, memories of him and flashes of his voice. Even just thinking about him marrying somebody else set a nasty feeling in my stomach.

"Just know, that Alec wants you there," She replied gently. I didn't know how that was supposed to help me at all, because now I felt like I had to go because it's what he wanted, I felt obligated not to let him down - but I wanted to be selfish for the first time in my life, and spare my feelings over his.

"I just- I don't think I can bear it," I took a shaky breath, "Did, did Jace tell you about Alec and I? About our bond?" Isabelle looked surprised so I took it as a no. "Isabelle, Alec's my amortai." I wondered if Jace had ever even told Alec.

She gasped and I knew she knew what it was. "Of course," She whispered, standing up. "How could I have not seen it? Does Alec even know?"

"It doesn't matter," I said quietly, looking at my feet, "It doesn't make a difference."

"What are you talking about?" Isabelle stopped and looked down at me.

"I mean, he's still chosen to get married to Lydia, you always have a choice, and this is his," I felt my throat closing up just at the thought. "But that doesn't mean I'm okay with it, and I just don't think I can watch him as he chooses someone else." Isabelle nodded in understanding, sitting back down next to me and pulling me into a hug. "I'm not coming, I can't," I murmured.

"Shhh, it's okay, I'll tell Alec, he'll understand," She assured me.

I saw the time on the clock hanging on the wall and ushered Isabelle out, not wanting to make her late. Half an hour passed, and I was back to pacing. Forty-five minutes and I was battling with myself.

I can't do it.

But he wants you there.

It's too much; I can't watch him go through with it.

What kind of Shadowhunter are you? You're supposed to be fearless.

But it hurts - he'll understand, how does anybody expect me to watch my amortai get married to someone else? Then again, nobody else knows, but still...

You're going to have to live with it anyway, don't let Alec down.

I dared another peek at the clock. An hour. It had started. I jumped up, pulling on the dress that Isabelle had given me just incase, and pulling my hair out of its bun as I ran through the halls, letting my converse-clad feet slap against the wooden floors. I reached the double doors that led through to the hall where the ceremony was being held and as quietly as I possibly could, I opened one and slipped through the tiny gap.

A few people in the back row turned to look at me as the heavy door let out small creak, but other than that, I hadn't disrupted anything. Not wanting to draw any further unnecessary attention to myself, I remained standing at the back instead of trying to find a seat.

I watched as Lydia clasped a golden bracelet around Alec's wrist, looking up at him with a reassuring smile, almost as if telling him that he was doing the right thing, and my stomach lurched as he placed a beautiful diamond necklace on her. My heart whined that it should be me up there, but I stayed rooted to the spot, Alec's own words echoing through my head, Emotions cloud judgment. Feelings get in the way. I couldn't let what I wanted ruin this.

"It is time for Alec Lightwood and Lydia Branwell to mark each other with the Wedded Union rune," A shiver ran down my spine for three reasons. The first being that the last time I heard that voice, I nearly died; the second being that that was when Alec went into the City of Bones with me so I wouldn't have to face the Soul-Sword alone - a thought that made my heart twist painfully; and the third being that it was about to become official - I could not have Alec Lightwood. "A rune on the hand, a rune on the heart, a union is born."

Lydia reached for the pillow that Isabelle was holding out for her, taking the ceremonial stele and touching it to the crystal that had been placed on a pedestal between her and Alec. She took his wrist, lowering the stele. His gaze flickered around the room and he did a double take when his eyes landed on me. Lydia paused, noticing Alec's hesitation, while Isabelle let out an audible gasp, her own eyes following his line of sight. Jace's eyes went wide, and he clapped a hand down on Alec's shoulder, whispering something to him.

Slowly, one by one, the guests all turned around to see what the groom was so distracted by. Maryse finally noticed me and glared such an icy glare that I was surprised I didn't turn to stone. I wished I could shrink back into the wall where nobody could see me - everybody's stares were making me extremely uncomfortable. As both of my hands were already behind my back, I discretely pulled out my stele from a secret pocket in the ruffles of the dress I had on, and traced my enhanced hearing rune, moving my arms as little as possible, looking back up at the altar.

My heart stopped as I heard his voice. "I can't breathe," Alec said, pulling at his collar.

"I know. It's okay," Lydia assured him. I suddenly felt guilt like fire - the flames licking my insides as I listened to what they were saying.

"I can't do this," Alec shook his head, and I could tell the situation was getting to him as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I thought we were doing the right thing, but this- this isn't it."

Lydia gave his hand a squeeze, offering a small but genuine smile, "You don't have to explain."

"I'm so sorry," Alec's voice was cracking.

The bride reached up and touched Alec's cheek, "Hey, you deserve to be happy. Okay? I'll be fine," She promised.

Alec looked back at Jace, then Isabelle, who both nodded at him encouragingly. He took a deep breath and turned from Lydia, locking his gaze on me. He took a step down from the altar. Then another. I felt like the entire world had slowed down to a stop as his foot hit the floor and I realised what he was doing. He took another deep breath and strode forwards.

Maryse stood up, trying to block him, "Alec, what are you doing-"

But Alec wasn't having any of it. He held up a hand to her and his clear voice rang through the hall, "Enough."

He walked straight down the isle towards me, never once breaking eye contact. When he was within arms length, he reached out, taking my face in his hands and leaned down, pressing his lips to mine, hard. I grabbed onto the collar of his suit jacket and pulled him closer as he deepened the kiss. He poured everything he was feeling into it, happiness, longing, guilt, joy, and trust. I was stunned at the raw, vulnerable emotion he was showing me.

We pulled away, breathless and Alec closed his eyes, resting his forehead against mine. "Isabelle told me you weren't coming," He murmured. I shook my head letting him know that I hadn't planned on it. "I couldn't do it," He breathed, opening his eyes and fixing me with his piercing blue gaze, "Not after seeing you standing there, I couldn't- I can't live without you Samara Fray," He told me so quietly that only the two of us could hear. It was then that I realised we were still in a crowded hall filled with people watching us. Alec seemed to register the same thing at the same time. He pulled away from me slightly, still looking at me, but with a touch more panic than he'd had a second ago as it started to dawn on him what he'd just done.

His breath caught in his throat, a small smile fighting its way to the surface in spite of the worry that was setting in, "What, did I just do?"    

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Oh man. This one got me. I just love them S O  M U C H it kills me.

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