02 | fragments of yesterday

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r o r y

"It's a trap

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"It's a trap." Victoria's expression is flat without an ounce of humor.

Ignoring her, I stare into my closet in utter disappointment as a barrage of short dresses with nonexistent necklines and revealing slits flaunt at me. "Why is there not a single appropriate thing in here? Have I never dressed for a classy event before?"

"Rory, I know you hate it when I try to give you advice, but you have to see where I'm coming from. A pretty brown girl entering a house of rich white people? You won't come out of this alive."

"Vicky-"

"Ah!" She shoves a stubby finger in my face. "Don't call me that, chica. I'm serious."

I push her hand aside. "I know. That's the scary part. You watch too many movies." I fold my arms and cup my elbows. "I know you're not Chace's biggest fan, but this is sort of a big deal. I need my best friend, not a mama bear."

Cocoa eyes take in my figure (specifically my breasts) before she joins me in the raid through my closet. "You know I hate the saying of us big girls need to cover up, but this time I'm all for it." She pulls down a strapless dress that'll barely stretch over my thighs. "I don't want any perverts looking at your chicis."

"Aren't you always saying teach the man not to be a pervert? Not the woman to-"

"Si, tonta!" She gathers me with her thick arms and smothers me into her large breasts. "I know. I know. This time, things are different."

"Do you honestly distrust Chace this much?"

"Yes," she hisses and shoves the dress back onto the rack. "Do you have anything that'll cover your ass?"

I giggle. "No."

When I first started gaining weight in high school, clothes were my biggest insecurity. My bra size jumped two cups, and I was no longer free to browse the medium to large sections at high-end fashion stores. Then I had to change the type of brands I browsed altogether. The light stretch marks contrasting against my brown skin made me hide my thighs and stomach for months. Victoria came into my life not long after, well, her body neutrality and self-love campaign did. Somehow, I went from her adoring fan to her best friend and learned that attractiveness is subjective. So, I went right back to wearing the short shorts and bralettes meant for thinner girls. Of course, there are those judgmental eyes that follow me whenever I'm out in anything less than a turtleneck, but I've discovered that it doesn't matter if I'm fat, skinny, brown, or blue; people are going to judge me.

"Are you ready to meet his parents?" Hangers screech as Victoria shifts aside dress after dress. "You've only been dating for a couple of months."

"Does it matter how long we've dated?"

"No. What does matter is that Chace is much older than you, and probably ready to settle down. You're still a baby, and we both know you prefer more open relationships." She scrunches her nose as she tries to find more ways to discredit my boyfriend. "Whereas Chace is very monogamous. I'm surprised he lets you around other women."

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