46 | alone

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t y l e r

"Look who's crawling their sorry ass back to my doorstep

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"Look who's crawling their sorry ass back to my doorstep." Jefferey's eyes are sharp enough to slit my throat as he takes in my miserable form standing in his doorway. "Why are you here? Did your brother kick you out so you have nowhere else to go?"

"Plus, I owe you an apology."

He snorts and turns around gracefully. "You're always welcome to crash at my place. You don't need to kiss my ass. We both know I won't be able to turn you away, no matter how toxic you are."

"Jeff..." I sigh and enter his apartment. It's spotless as always, with the aroma of coffee wafting from the kitchenette. I follow him to his small counter space decorated with charming decor and knickknacks. He pours himself a steaming mug. "I really do want to apologize. I would have sooner, but some shit went down and..." He arches a brow as he raises the mug to his lips to blow against the steam. "We can discuss that in a minute. What I want to say is, I know I'm a major dick."

He scoffs and sets his mug on the counter. "Tell me something new. You pride yourself on being a dick."

I tease the space between us with a step forward. Tension crinkles around his eyes, but he doesn't move. "You didn't deserve what happened the other day. I was frustrated and emotional, and I said a bunch of shit. It wasn't fair for you to endure any of it. You've been good to me, and I just keep hurting you."

He shrugs like it's all behind us and grabs creamer from his refrigerator to pour into his coffee. "You did warn me that I should end things between us." He strolls towards his dining area where a propped-open laptop awaits. He takes a seat, sips his coffee, then looks at me expectantly. "Sit." I do. "I have to take some of the blame as well. I'm the one enduring your shit."

"You're great to me, Jeff. I appreciate you, and I sure as hell don't deserve you or your help." I try to express just how honest I'm being with him, but he doesn't seem all too interested. That's fair.

"I'm glad, at least, you're clear on that." He divides his attention to his laptop, blue light reflecting over his whitish hair and pale complexion. Gray eyes dart to me occasionally before he sighs and closes his laptop. "Were you expecting something else? An argument? Resistance? I know your shit is in your car. Go grab it and use the spare bedroom."

"That's not it." I glance to the side and think about the circumstances of the past day. Blurry events that led to me ending up in bed with Rory. It's terrifying. To have a black spot over my memory like ink, and it to have not been due to my own consumption. The worst part of it is how Rory's taking it. She was a mess when we awoke, and with how Chace reacted to me showing up to his office, I have a feeling things didn't go well between them either. Did he break up with her? Knowing my brother and the shit he's gone through; he's bound to shut out all his emotions and reject anything he believes will weaken him. The only weakness he's ever allowed himself to have is me. Now he hates me.

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