Dawning (Dysmorphia Series #3)

Truths Part 2

"Do you remember that day when you were going to ask me out... you wrote that list but I asked you before you could read it out to me?"

Andrew nodded like his neck was twisted in and it pained him to remember happier times.

"Okay well right now giving the conversation were having it might be hard for you to believe but that was the moment when I knew I was a goner when it came to you... you probably have this whole story worked up in your mind about how this whole time I've been lying to you and having some passionate romance with Cole while you've been gone, but that's absolutely not true"

He didn't look like he believed her, but she was comforted by the fact that he stayed silent and was listening to her, not letting anger cloud his judgment, he had every right to be throwing things around the room and screaming burst to fit, but he didn't because he was Andrew he would hear her out and make a logical decision when she was done because that's the patient type of person she was.

How cruel, she hadn't been able to stop Chase leaving her and now the best thing that had happened to her since him might disappear from her life because of her own stupidity and inability to see fantasy from reality.

"You know about Chase Andrew, but I don't think you get one pivotal thing, I see you glance over at me sometimes when I'm caught up in the moment like your checking to see whether I'm really happy, or whether your doing a good enough job at distracting me, but you said that say in the library you never wanted to get into a relationship where you would be replacing someone"

"I never knew I would be the one getting replaced" he muttered under his breath.

A series of needles prickled up her arms, she knew this was her chance, these words would define any future they could ever have together, she needed to pick them wisely.

"You always think that your a replacement for Chase Andrew, that's the whole point! Like your not good enough on your own, but let me tell you one thing I never compare the two of you, never because that isn't fair, yes I loved him but that was a different kind of love, it was almost a desperate love like we both knew our time was running out, who knows what would have happened if he hadn't left but I don't want to live in the past anymore, this is the future and I see it with you, always"

Deep breaths, deep breaths and avoid his eyes Florence coached herself, this would be fine, she was actually being truthful, no sugar-coating of words or skirting round awkward subjects.

Andrew had began to pace up and down the room and it was making her even more nervous than she had been when the conversation had started.

"I noticed that you've just spoken a lot about Chase, but as you said he's the past what about Cole? What exactly is the deal with you two? You think I don't have a right to know when I'm marrying you next month?"

He was right, and she was scared as he shot question after question at her, they were getting to the real problem now and the inner battle she had been fighting was now exposed, except there hadn't really ever been to feasible options had there?

The moment she had drove away from Phillipson leaving Cole recovering from amnesia she'd made her decision.

"I'm not going to pretend that I know the inner workings of Cole's mind but you know how he had his accident, I might not have written everything in the book but I did write about the car accident and his amnesia, I'm not sure whether he was confused or if he truly meant it but for the sake of his dignity I didn't publish the part when I left where he..."

"Where he what?" Andrew demanded.

She was actually going to collapse, her head was swirling.

Ten seconds of courage.

"Where he begged me to stay and told me he'd loved me from the moment he first set eyes on me" she said weakly.

Andrew's face was turning more and more red by the minute.

"Oh My God, I left you here for a month, with someone so desperate to be with you how bloody naïve am I to leave you here for a freaking month?"

He looked like a warhead primed to explode at the smallest provocation.

"But you don't understand Andrew! This isn't a two-way thing if it was I would never have agreed to marry you I'm not that selfish"

"So your telling me you've rejected him time after time and never felt anything for him" his voice was softer now, probably because he'd seen how white she'd become and the tear tracks down her face, she hadn't wanted to cry, but it was her default.

"Well of course I felt something for him! Years ago he's Chase's twin for God's sake! He looked identical to him and he was so lost and I thought that maybe if I fixed him if I just showed him that there was something worth living for he'd be fine without me, and when he had that accident my heart broke, I thought it was all my fault, I thought that being with Alex, you remember I told you about him would stop me doing something really stupid!"

She was angry, it had crept up on her but now she was angry, he of all people should know that you shouldn't be judged on your past, she'd been through some crappy times and carried out her fair share of stupid acts, but it had been three years ago, she hadn't known one day she'd be standing in front of her fiancée justifying her actions.

"So you don't feel anything for him anymore... but he doesn't feel the same way?"

She shrugged, as she'd said before she was no mind-reader.

"We have history Andrew and there's no way of escaping that I think the two of us will always feel like we owe the other something, but I love you now anything I felt before is over, in the past but don't make me cut him out of my life because that's something that won't happen"

Where had her sudden resolve come from?

"Okay... I need some time its a lot to take in Flo, just give me some time that's all"

He seemed to have disconnected himself from the world as he slowly shut the door on her.

Florence breathed out, she well and truly inhaled and exhaled the air like she'd been cooped up and someone had finally given her the key to her freedom.

Cole's messages were all the same, asking her to meet him.

She needed to meet him and needed to tell him, the way she'd handled everything was completely wrong and she realised now that toying with people's hearts was a terrible crime.

Half an hour later her car pulled up at Oakwood Clinic where she saw a familiar figure sitting on Chase's bench.