Paper Folds | On Hold

Denim

She was talking about Shayne.

Shayne.

My eyes found the casket.

Shayne.

I itched to go closer.

You, you must be in there, right?

I walked closer, my hands raised, slowly inching closer...

Jesse's eyes caught my own.

I suddenly stood still, still as a rock.

Hands up, raised.

Her face became oddly composed.

But her eyes, they were blazing now.

She pushed her husband aside, and stormed towards me.

I still stood straight, arms raised, fingers so close to the casket.

Dave called out, "Jesse?"

But Jesse now stood on the other side of the casket, and her face made me lower my hands. And my eyes.

"Ray."

The words were spoken with her usual strength, but there was an edge to it.

I felt mute.

Words, they were swirling inside my head, but my mouth remained shut.

"You're here?"

Again, I did not respond. What was I going to say to that?

You do want me here, don't you?

"Perhaps I wasn't clear enough. What are you doing here?"

I raised my eyes to look at her. Her face muscles were clenched, her hands fisted.

She was barely holding it.

I want to see you.

"Ray!?"

I looked beside Jesse. Dave was standing beside her, an incredulous expression on his face.

His eyes found my bruises, wet bandages.

I eyed the umbrellas in their hands.

The rain was still pouring, and there was a definite chill in the air, that was slowly getting to me.

I had started shivering.

I slowly eyed everybody, they were all staring at us, curiosity and interest etched on their faces.

I looked back at Shayne's parents.

One was looking at me with a strong intention to behead me.

The other had understanding, care, and love.

"Well, what do you want?"

I stared at Jesse, what did I want?

I want to see you.

"I wanted to see him."

"Him?"

I looked at the casket.

"Yes."

"No."

"W-what?"

Jesse folded her arms across her chest, anger flaming her face.

"I said no."

I looked at the casket and touched it with my hands, slowly feeling the material, as rivulets of water fell down it's surface.