Past Present Future

.34

I met with Mr Gains right after lunch. He wasn't expecting me and was quite surprised when I showed up at his office.

The inside was plain and had very few pictures or books, it was nothing like Emory's.

"So, what brings you here Ms Dawson?" He asked skeptically as I sat in the seat across from his desk.

He was wearing the usual slacks and white button up, "I would like to switch counselors."

It was obvious that he was shocked; I bet no one had ever requested to leave Ms Allen's sessions. Everyone else saw her as a cute little innocent doll. I was the only one who saw her for the troll bitch she is.

"May I ask why? From her notes, it sounded like the two of you were making some progress." Notes? All this time she had taken notes about our sessions, and Mr Gains had the privilege of reading them?

"Well, the notes lied. I just want a different counselor, someone who I might relate to more." I tried to convince him that my intentions of switching counselors were pure, he seemed to be buying it. He leaned back and took a look at the computer in front of him. After typing in a few commands and scrolling with the mouse, he came to a stop and looked at me.

"Alright, if this is what you think will help you, I'll put in a request for switch. You'll find out who your new counselor is when I get the schedule written up. It could take a few days."

I smiled, standing to my feet. "Thanks, I really appreciate it." My hand was about to push open the door when he spoke.

"Tanner I must say, you've made some noticeable progress since the first day we met at the airport. Are you sure you don't want to give Ms Allen a little more time?"

His question was something I had to think about. I couldn't help but feel a sense of joy at his compliment, I had been convinced that change was impossible for me. Apparently everyone else saw something changing in me. I wasn't really sure how I was changing, but it must've been something clear to the outside world.

"Yeah, I'm sure that I want to change."

With that, he wrote me a pass and I entered the empty hallway. I hated that I still had to go to her office, that I still had to spend an hour looking at her beautifully deceitful face. Once I reached her office, I examined the familiar wood and the name etched into it. My heart rate was racing and I could feel my cheeks burning. I wasn't sure if they were burning from anger or from fear. Most likely a mix of both.

Before I had any chance to gain control of my emotions, the door opened and there she was. She stood tall, looked me up and down trying to read me, then stepped aside. I sat in my usual chair and she did the same. My eyes glued themselves to my palms, I refused to look at her. I knew that if I did, I'd flip out.

"Why are you late?" She asked in a curious tone, picking up her red pen and sitting back in the leather seat.

I stayed silent. She didn't deserve to know anything more about me.

A breath left her lungs as the sun hit the right side of her face, she quickly saw that I was not going to willingly speak. "I would like to apologize about what I said to you yesterday. It was wrong of me, and I didn't mean it."

I chuckled, wishing I didn't have to sit here and listen to her any longer. "Can we just not talk, please?" My tone was bitter, but that wasn't surprising.

"No, we should've talked awhile ago Tanner, and it's my fault that we didn't." She stood from her chair, crossed her arms, and walked to the only window in the room. She stared out at the grassy lawn that decorated the front of the school house. Her chest rose and fell softly, "We need to talk about... us, about the kiss."