Black Queenz

Ch. 8-Responsibility

***Osiris***

I should've called the second I got home. I should've called the second I was done working. I should've called the second I was thinking about her. I fucked up in the worst way and I wasn't sure if I'd ever live it down.

"What the Hell, Osiris? I mean, tell me really what the Hell you think this is?" Ra yelled. We were outside on her porch and it was a little after four in the afternoon. She was trying to keep it down at first, but the longer I stood there, the louder she got.

"Baby, you know I'm sorry," I started, but she put up a hand and kept going.

"I'm not baby right now, Osiris."

"Beautiful, I didn't-"

"No, I'm not that either."

"Just lemme explain, queen. I was-" She shook her head and crossed her arms. Most of the anger was gone and it was replaced with genuine hurt. Her bottom lip poked out and tears started to form in her eyes.

"Why didn't you just text me, Osiris? I just wanted to know you was okay. But instead you didn't communicate with me until this late in the afternoon. Am I annoying you?" she whispered pitifully.

I shook my head and started to reach out to hold her and console her, but then I remembered that we were outside and there were people everywhere. A few kids had already stopped to stare at us, but they'd resumed playing after a minute or two.

"Rashaa," I murmured, "it was a long night. I got home after six in the morning."

"I was waiting up all night for you. I was even watching your house for an hour or two around midnight, just hoping I'd see you. I always answer your calls."

"I didn't wanna wake you."

"Am I being unreasonable asking for you to tell me when you get home?" she asked, shrugging her shoulders. "You said you'd call me. I didn't even ask! But then I didn't get that call and I didn't know what to think, beautiful. I thought you were dead. I cried myself to sleep once three a.m. came, and it hurt worse that I couldn't even call or text you."

I didn't know how else to explain. There was nothing new to say. I'd disappointed her deeply and I didn't know how to explain why I'd did it. She needed to be held and cuddled and kissed and all of those things, but we had nowhere we could privately and safely do that for as long as she needed it. My queen looked so betrayed and it'd been my fault.

"Osiris," she said after a few quiet moments, "Tanya is asleep and we can talk in my room I guess."

I nodded and waited until she turned around to smile. I'd fucked up, but Ra was never really gonna leave me. It didn't mean that I'd keep hurting her, but I would try my best to do better.

She led me upstairs with my hands on her hips. When we got to her room, she told me to lay down on her bed and relax, so I did and watched her as she closed her blinds and turned on some soft music.

"We got interrupted yesterday," she reminded me, kissing my lips.

"I thought you still wanted to talk about it. Like, get what I did resolved or something or-" Her lips met mine to make me shut up. She wrapped her arms behind my neck and straddled me, so I let my hands work up from her hips to her stomach.

"Wait, wait," Ra told me suddenly, right before I could run my hand across her cute tummy. "I wanna keep my shirt on."

"Why? That's not even fair. You seen more of me than I have of you."

"You're body is pretty, though. It's perfect like the models and stuff. You have muscles and soft curves and you're smooth and slim."

"What's that got to do with anything?" I asked, shaking my head. "You trust me and I trust you, so we should be able to share something as simple as looking at each other, Ra. Plus I got scars and random freckles and all that regular shit everyone got." She sighed and shook her head, so I waited for her to answer patiently. I wasn't gonna let her just shut me out and not tell me why I couldn't see her the way she could see me.