Beaten, Bruised, and Kissed

Chapter 10

She just shrugs and hands me a gun and shows me the basics of how to use it without any further questions. "Here you go. It's a Sig Sauer P320 9mm, a gun for idiot shooters who can't aim very well. It's also lightweight and easy to hide." (A/N: I literally know nothing about guns. I've never even held one before so I'm sorry if this is an uneducated description of this gun)

"That's perfect," I say before handing her some money and go on my merry way.

Step one is complete. Now it's time to subtly say goodbye to the few people who care.

~~~~~~

I don't even wait for school to get out since there is no point in staying anyway. I sneak out of the school without somehow triggering some metal detector since it;s infested with transforming werewolves that can bite the head off of any intruder within 10 seconds of them walking in. I run to my baby and rev the engine on my Goldwing (A/N: again, sorry I'm uneducated). I take a second to enjoy the sound my motorcycle makes. It's interesting how much more you appreciate things when you know you'll never experience them again.

I never noticed how lively this town is. I'm usually too busy listening to music, but today I let the sounds of the area fill my ears. There were people arguing, people smiling and laughing, people I have never even met before even though the towns' population was only 3,000 and half of that is pack members.

I never noticed the quiet tunnels made up of blossoming trees that nearly block out the sun while you're riding under it. I don't know how I could have missed this before now. It is so beautiful and quiet. I wish I had more time to find a place to lay down and bask in this serenity.

In a spire of the moment decision, I decided to park along side the road and do just that. The trees told me that spring was near as they were damp from a rainfall the night before, but leaves had started sprouting on top of the branches.

Maybe, in order to make room for more life, someone somewhere up there decided now was a good time for me to die. Maybe there's just not enough room on the earth for a waste of space like me. Maybe there's a new born somewhere smiling and bringing more joy in the world than I ever could; today is the perfect day for someone else to start their life will I decide to end mine.

By the time I get up to leave, the school day has ended anyway so the chance to beat any traffic caused by the many spoiled wolves in their daddy's Ferrari's is long gone.

~~~~~~

I've never felt so sad coming home before. Usually, home is where I can escape Ryder and the bullying that ensues at school; but in the same breath, I have never come home with a plan to kill myself. Even with these negative emotions, there was still nothing else that felt so right for me to do.

Of course walking inside the house was no different than any other day. Pack members were chatting amongst themselves, ignoring my presence like always. I see my brothers conversing and I walk over as normally as I possibly can.

They still do not notice me.

"Hey guys," I say at a medium level volume assuming that they will surely hear me with their werewolf hearing, but they don't even act like they heard me. "Yo. What's up?" I "casually" ask uncharacteristically hoping this unusual behavior will get them to notice me. Still nothing. "Can I get a hug?" I plead this quietly while backing away knowing that my last attempt for recognition would be futile.

I know my brothers love me, but they tend to get lost in their own boyish world and often times forget I exist and block out my voice and presence. It's never anything personal or intentional, but today it kind of felt like it was.