Freaks

12 • reasons (pt. 1)

Horowitz voice increases with every syllable. He sounded angry. At me? At Morgana? At himself? I couldn't tell anything other than the frustration evident in his tone.

"A lot of bad things can happen, Miss Sparke. You need to be aware of that." Horowitz callously waves my notebook in front of my face. "That is what I wanted you to write about not—"

He uses his thumb quickly flick through the pages of the book. At first, he does this to emphasise his point, but then he comes against a small drawing in the corner of one of the pages and he pauses.

It's the same drawing that had been haunting my dreams since the beginning of the summer. The object was still as unidentifiable to me as always... but Horowitz... almost looked like he recognised it.

But that was impossible... wasn't it?

But then Horowitz snaps the book shut and clears his throat, and as if the moment never existed, drew his eyes to mine rather than the book.

Now in a calmer state, he seemed to notice the state his rant had put me in. I felt incapable of replying, without bursting into tears, and though he was supposed to be my therapist, I didn't think I was ready to open to him at such a level. After a moment of silence, I finally look up. In his own way, Professor Horowitz looked almost like regretted what he said- or at least, the way he said it.

Rubbing his stubble, Horowitz began to speak in a softer, apologetic tone. "Okay, look. How about this? I'll extend the date on this." I pull my gaze off the floor. "You have until the end of the year to think of new reasons why you shouldn't use your abilities. And this time—"

Murmuring to myself, I go over what he said, "Think of new reasons..." My head shoots up. "Think of new reasons?! You're expecting me to do that all over again?! After all you've said?!" Without meaning to, I realise I had shouted out the last part . "You think that's the best way to make me feel better about all this? Think about new ways I could get myself and everyone killed???"

"Well, they're not exactly 'new' ways just—"

"That's it," I declare. In an instant, the fear and sadness that been consuming me were gone. Now all I felt was anger, boiling under my skin like a volcano waiting to erupt.  My chair scrapes loudly against the floor in my attempt to flee the room. It causes Horowitz to flinch slightly, but otherwise, he remains unaffected by the fact I was mid-way to barging out of the his office. "I can't take this anymore. Morgana can't make me work with a madman."

"Now, calling me a madman is sort of harsh," Horowitz muses calmly. He swizzles side to side in his chair, a frown etching on his face as he mulled over my comment. "Has elements of the truth, yes, but—"

Even with a hand on the door, I couldn't resist retorting. "Do you even listen to yourself? You're supposed to be my... therapist but all you do is make me feel worse about myself and make weird comments like that! How is that supposed to help me get over this???"

Horowitz seems to have no response to this. He stops spinning in his chair and lets out a dramatic sigh- as if I was the one being difficult in this situation. The urge to walk out increases.

"Look," he begins. I ignore him. "Come on, Emma," he coaxes. "Just turn around and listen to what I have to say for a minute, okay?" Against my better judgement, I reluctantly do as he says. "That's good, good. Now come back here; sit."