1919 - Thomas Shelby x Reader

Chapter 29 ~ Eyes Shut

Your P.o.v.

I cleaned the gashes up my arms and thanked Polly for her assistance. "This can't keep happening, Thomas" Polly emptied out the bloody water and rags into the basin. "Poll im trying my best for the company to these thing out but-" "Thomas this isn't about the company its about safety!" she folded her arms across her chest and the air in the room changed dramatically. "Poll im fine" I tired to calm her down before she became too heated "He's not trying hard enough" she spat before brushing shoulders with him as she filed out of the room. 

I stared at the floor waiting for him to leave as well but I already knew in my head he wouldn't unless I asked him to. "Tom you can go, everything's been taken care of" I slipped down off the counter and walked out into the backyard where Poll had been earlier. I didn't bother turning around because I already knew Thomas was following me. The sound of his shoes tapping the concrete footpath gave him away. I took a seat on the bench facing the green open fields, there was something enchanting about them that just made you want to run.

"What are you thinking?" he asked standing behind the bench not moving to face me "Im thinking about how I could have been killed twice in the matter of twelve hours". I turned around to look at his expressionless face "That's the price of being a Blinder" he spoke as if he'd said this a million times before. "You don't feel anything anymore do you?" I asked trying to understand how he can be so cold and collected. "I do" he spoke flatly "I just don't show it to everyone" he began walking away back into the house leaving me to sit outside by myself.

I closed my eyes and let my mind go blank "What the hell have I gotten myself into?" I asked myself as I took a deep breath. I reopened my eyes and stared for a moment or so, out at the field and gave in to the compelling feeling to go down there. Standing from my position I turned around making sure no one was watching and began running full speed down into the field. I knew of course the Shelby's would see me running because the grass was short unlike the long grass we have back home.

I continued further and further into the fields as the sky dimmed, I had been walking through here for quite some time now. Off slightly in the distance I could see the glow from a campfire down by a neighbouring river. It must have been the Gypsy's Michael was telling me about the other night. I kept walking towards the light until I saw the outline of the caravans lined up beside each other. "Hello?" someone called out as a twig snapped under the weight of my foot. A man id recognised walked out into the light and I approached him.

"Miss Annabelle what brings you out here this late in the evening?" Johnny asked standing across from me. "I needed a change of scenery" A smile spread across his face and the lines around his eyes crinkled. "Well you came to the right place" he laughed "Was there anythin in particular that happened to bring ya here?" he cocked his head to the side. "Im just getting over the fact I could have been killed twice in the past fourteen hours" I half smiled. "I didn't actually know I would end up here, I just went straight through the back field and kept walking".

The both of us took a seat on the logs around the fire trying to cure the chill in our bones. "Thomas didn't help?" he rubbed his hands towards the fire and gave me a strange look. "He wasn't there and the first time he set me up himself" he shook his head. "Tom ain't been right since he took over that betting shop, Arthur was supposed to be running it but he ain't got good leadership skills" he stared into the flames. The flames flickered and I could almost see Thomas in them. 

The colour reminded me of his rage and the warmth of his kindness that he hides away when someone new tried to get to know him. He can't keep doing that to himself, it will only get worse over time. "Do you think Tom feels anything anymore?" I asked Johnny. He gazed up at me and and a small smile arose on his face "I believe he does towards some people. He's just afraid is all, doesn't like to get too close and personal" I stared into the sky which had now turned to black.

"Thanks for talking with me Johnny" I smiled standing from my seat. "It was a please, feel free to come here anytime ya like" I nodded my head and gave him a quick hug "Thank you, have a goodnight". "Your going home at this time of night?" he asked confused "If I don't come home I wont hear the end of it" he laughed "I suppose your right". With that I  paced myself for a long journey back to the Shelby residence where I was sure everyone had drifted off to sleep by now. The only light to guide me home now was from the moon.

...

3:00am 

I finally approached the back garden of the Shelby house and made my way to the back door. I twisted the knob but to no avail it was locked which lead me to assume that the front door was also locked. I couldn't stay outside all night, id only be inviting the cold hug of frost bite to come and take over me. I walked around the house until I saw that the maids quarters was still alight. I knocked on the door lightly and thank god someone answered the door. "Annabelle!? quick get in" they ushered me whispering with caution.

I thanked the girls for their help getting me back inside the house before making my final ascend up the staircase to my bedroom. I began walking down the  hallway before murmuring coming from Thomas's room distracted me. The light was dimly lit and his door was closed. I did my best to get as close to the door without making a sound as possible. Gently I pushed open the door to find Thomas laying on his side in his boxers shirtless. He was talking in his sleep. I crept close to try and comprehend what he was saying".

"Im sorry" he murmured.