Not over you

Chapter 8

4 years later

Aria's POV
Today is the day. After more than 4 years in LA and a lot of thinking, I'm coming back to the place I once called home. Today I'm coming back to Rosewood with my little girls: Daisy Mae and Olivia Beatrice Montgomery, the sweetest girls in the world.
These last 4 years were hard but still amazing. We got to share amazing moments, and even though it was hard not having Ezra there with me, with us, I managed. The girls are the most important thing in my life. Without them I wouldn't be here. They light my days, they make me want to keep going and do my best every day, and seeing them smile makes everything worth it. All the hard days, the doubts, the problems... with their smile I forget all of that.
Right before they were born, my life was a mess. I was depressed, anxious. All the Ezra situation was driving me crazy. I had no idea how I would do that without him. I thought it was impossible. I tried to reach him a lot of times, but never could. I barely ate, slept or left the house for weeks, and if it wasn't for the girls I'm sure I would have died. I was at a point I had 2 options: either I chose living or kept acting like that and destroying myself. Then they were born and I knew I had to stop living like that. In that moment I realized I would never be alone again... I found a reason to live, to fight that depression I had. I realized I couldn't keep spending my days crying on my bed, blaming myself, wanting to stop the pain... And the first time I looked I them, for a few seconds all of that stopped. For a few seconds it was just me and them in that little hospital bedroom. And seeing their little noses, lips, eyes, hands and wondering how they would be when they grew up, or how amazing things they would achieve gave me the strength to keep going. Those weren't easy months... it took me a while to get better. But having my babies with me made all of it a lot easier. It was a hard path, I'm not going to lie. There were days I would question everything and I had a lot of breakdowns but I did it, and a few months after I was fine and could enjoy 100% my life and be a little more happy every day.
2 years ago I ran into Spencer while I was at the park with the girls, so she knows about everything. She has been amazing with me and them. When I saw her I started crying. I couldn't believe I had found my best friend. That day we talked for hours, I explained everything to her... well, almost everything. I never told her exactly what happened between me and Ezra, but she didn't ask either. I think she must have understood that I didn't want to talk about that, so she just told me that she would be there when I was ready to talk about it, which I'm really grateful for. We agreed we had to keep talking, so we changed phone numbers, and started talking almost everyday. After a few months, she told me how everyone missed me, but specially my parents. She told me how worried and sad they were, how they couldn't help but think something bad had happened to me and how they weren't the same they were when I was there. Hearing her telling me that killed me. I couldn't believe what had put them through, and until that day I didn't realize how my actions had affected them, so I called them that exact same day. I still remember their reactions like it was yesterday. The joy, the relief and the same time the concern in their voices. They started asking me where I was, how I was, if I was with someone, why I had left, if I was coming back, what I was doing, and a lot more questions. I told them I had left because of an argument with Ezra and that I was safe and happy, so they didn't have to worry, but they are my parents so they told me they would always worry about me. I never told them where I was or about the girls. I thought that I should tell them that in person. I thought about going to Rosewood for a weekend and tell them, but then I got a call from the publishing house that published my book saying that someone wanted to buy it and turn it into a movie and my life turned upside down. I had lots of meetings and I still had to take care of the girls that by the time were around 2 years old. So I kept delaying that weekend so until today it never happened. I feel really bad about it, and even though I had always found a reason why I couldn't go, I knew, deep down, that if I really wanted I could have gone, and that I was just trying to hide how I was really feeling about that weekend: terrified and afraid.