Him and I (EDITING/REWRITING)

Outcast?

Haven't you took notice to how many times I run away from my problems? If you had a piece of paper, and just listened to how many times my footsteps disappear from that living hall, or how many times I disappear before the night, or just in general how times I just get up and run away? Your paper would be needing a few millions with them.

How did it all start? Why am I wanting to just run away, instead of facing my problems? 

I guess I could say it was back when I was ten years old and my mother decided to leave my father and I.

Now that would come to why my father's last name was Adam, and why was mine Jones? Well it's simple, when my parents were married they decided to let me have Jone's which was my mother's last name at the time. My mother didn't want the same last name as my father, weird right? So, I was stuck with Jones, even though I would love being an Adam.

Now, maybe you're still confused and need some more guidance. My mother wasn't the type of mothers who did anything bad, no nothing of those sort. You was a good mother, taught me well, taught me from right to wrong, taught me how to cook, how to do the laundry, just about anything good a parent could teach. She never taught me to leave anybody side when they were in need of help, instead she taught me something that even before this day, I'm afraid of.

A warm loving heart, that invites other's in.

If you can think from before the past weeks, my heart isn't really opened up. Gavin and Jessie don't even know that much about me to be truthful, sure they were confused about the whole different last names from parents. But they just thought that my mother divorced my father and went with another man, and I was with her.

Well that's not the case. You see, my mother didn't leave for another man. It's more like you told me she was going to buy something and soon she disappeared before my sight. I guess she went missing before action? Like in the War. Yeah, she went missing in action.

Before you even dare say my mother is awful or how you pity me, please don't. Both of my parents were great and I honestly grew to not care about the departure of my mother. My father simply told me when I got a bit older that my mother just decided to go to a better place, and no it wasn't Heaven or that other place. She just went to a garden, where beauty was everywhere. A garden where I couldn't go in because I would ruin the flowers with my touch.

I had the gold touch. The touch that made many freeze and stay in one place for a period of time. That was the touch I owned, and was cursed with. I didn't really like own the whole touch, but it just felt like it because every time I talked or did something people froze. My father said it was because people were jealous of my good looks, or brain that was so genius that many didn't even know about. So I was like an Albert Einstein mixed with some Angelina Jolie.

It's not really a curse, now isn't it? I think it is.

And you know what makes it a bit funnier, I always tend to run away from the problems that I need to face. I get plently of trials but I tend to sort of skip off the path and run to a cottage, and hide from it. It's not really good to tell you the truth. And not to mention how inside of me, there's this little girl who is mentally trying her hardest to break down the walls that seperate her from anybody else. The wall is like a closed off center.

But before you think I'm some depression being, I'm not. I'm actually a pretty happy person, plus I am a girl. Girls are sensitive, don't listen to us if we say we're not. We're definetly senstitive towards some topics.

Maybe I should get back to what is happening since I'm basically just running around through a train railing that goes in circles. 

~

My eyes finally opening up I can finally find myself faced towards the being who I needed to talk too. 

It was you. Your arm was tightly holding onto my arm, and if you're thinking correctly. Yes, he was stopping me from running yet again. 

That's something else that I love about you, it's how you always tend to make sure that I stop running away and instead face my problems. You're sort of like my own guardian angel, it's like Heavenly Father told you to come down and make sure that I was happy.

It's blessful to think about it.

"Don't leave." You finally tell me. I can already feel my legs starting to wobble, and start deciding rather to let myself fall and be either catched or start crying again.

Your eyes stare directly into mine, and I can feel myself already drowning inside the pool of your eyes. They were captivating, I could already feel my knees become weak while my insides decided yet again to make sure that I would start to feel the feeling of love.

"Look directly into my eyes and say that you hate me." You explained to me and I can already feel my lips about to mouth out 'I love you.' instead.

"I-" I try to think about what to say but you just stare more into my eyes making me feel weak all of a sudden.

"Say it." You exclaimed while gritting your teeth.

"I ha-" I can't say it, no matter how many times I try to forcefully let myself say it. I just couldn't allow myself to straight out say it.

"You don't really hate me at all." You sigh and I can feel your breath sting my face.

"I don't." I say in defeat.

"Then tell me what you really think, I need to know. No, I want to know." You start coming closer, and I try to back up, try to push you away because Jessie was a few inches away already watching this scene. While my father was just patentially watching us.

"I-" I start off but quickly cut myself off and try to get out of his grip.

"Tell me Macey." You say a bit louder this time, making me feel already nervous.

"I can't." I sigh out, and direct my attention to Jessie who looks relieved to hear this.

A scoff escapes through your rosy lips and you soon I feel my feet being dragged away, I can see Jessie's figure disappearing and same with my father who has a small smile planted on his face. But before I could even disappear, there I saw it. The little girl that finally decided to break through, she was waiting for me on the other side where Gavin would lead me.

~

"We're alone now. You can tell me now." You blurt out, and I nod my head slowly while trying to capture the scenery the background of where we're at. I looked around to see that there was a huge oak tree behind us, meadows that filled the land and soon flowers were planted about as if they were unattented to be planted there. They looked all wild and free.

I wish I was like that.

"Macey what was it that you wanted to tell me?" You plead with me, I can already see the begging beginning within your eyes.

"What if I told you that I loved you?" I ask you, my eyes looking directly at the flower that was next to me. It was tulip, a beautiful scent start to raise from it and let me smell it.

"Huh?" Your eyes widen and soon shock is planted on your expression.

I turn my head and look directly into your eyes. "What would you do if I told you that I've loved you ever since the beginning?"

"Ever since we were five?" You whispered out.

"No. Ever since we were nine." I chuckled softly, while still focusing my attention on you.

"I would be shock. Why?" You say more of in a whisper than in even a tone.

"Hm." I say, pondering about what to do.

"Well?" You ask me.