Him and I (EDITING/REWRITING)

"I'm back."

I can't do this. I can't do this anymore.

"No. Shut up. I need to focus on what's important right now. Education." I mumbled. I looked up and tried focusing on the lady and what she was teaching me. But everything she was saying was coming off as nothing but a blur.

"I can't focus." I whispered. I could hear the scenes replaying themselves again in my mind. I felt sick. 

I smacked myself across the head trying to force myself to pay attention to the lady. Until, suddenly I heard a loud annoying cough. I looked up and caught her staring at me with an irritated expression.

"Macey, what is the answer to question four?" She asked. I stared blankly towards the board and continued staring. Until I could sense my mind start working once again, I quickly nodded my head.

"5 by the power of 2." I replied. She sighed and looked down, disappointed. She looked back up and gave me a disappointed expression.

"Macey, this is English, remember? Not math." She coughed, soon a loud roar was coming through the whole classroom.

"Oh. I'm sorry." I apologized quietly, I hid my face underneath my arms, feeling stupid.

"Macey, if you like you can go outside to get some fresh air." She tells me. I look up and give her a nod.

"Thanks." I smile. I stand up quickly and head out of the classroom.

I closed the classroom door and slide my legs down wall. I stare blankly at the wall and feel mocked by it while my insides were starting to feel like a tornado just swirled around inside it.

"I feel sick." I chuckled. I stared down at my fingernails and noticed the short length of it.

"I really should stop chewing my nails." I smiled. I chuckled to myself and started feeling that overwhelming feeling once again start growing. I stopped laughing and instead brought my legs closer to my body as if it was protecting me.

I heard a deep voice call out to me.

"Macey?" The unfamiliar voice called out.

I buried my face deep inside my knee, and ignored the voice. I didn't want to say anything because I feared of breaking down into tears. I didn't want to be seen as a weakling anymore.

After a few minutes, the unfamiliar footsteps came shuffling closer to me. I could sense this large body that was close by me. Then I felt a hand touch my back and a shiver went down my spine. I felt a sense comfortableness from this being. 

"Are you okay?" The voice asked.

I nodded my head, completely lying.

"Are you sure?" The voice asked, again.

I nodded my head again.

"I don't think you are okay. Would you like to talk about it?" The voice reassured me.

I shook my head and felt my throat tightened. I took a small breath and gulped down the lump that felt large inside my throat.

"Macey. C'mon. Let's talk. Let me be your therapist." The voice joked.

I shook my head again and tightened my hands around my legs. The voice sighed and I could feel myself being pulled towards them. I felt their arm wrap around me and I could see a bit of their arm around my waist.

"If you don't want to talk, alright. But I'm not going to leave you alone, alright." The voice explained. I nodded my head and the voice stayed silent.

There were no noises except my uneven breaths that were short and small. At some points, I even forgot to breathe which was weird. I should remember to breathe, but it's like blinking, when you take notice of blinking and try to control it you forget how to even blink.

It's like how I forgot how to even breathe.

"Breathe." The voice suddenly said to me. I was startled by it. Was I not breathing?

I blinked and noticed that I wasn't breathing. I wasn't at all. It was like at that split moment, I just stopped. My heart didn't feel like it was beating either, I couldn't hear any pulse or anything. I did notice my eyesight was becoming blurry though.

I'm scared.

"Macey, breathe!" The voice called out.  I tried to explain to the person that I didn't know how too that I just forgot how to even breathe. But no voice came out of my throat only an abnormal plea.

A plea for help, maybe?

"Macey!" I heard them yell out louder. I blinked again and soon I was tightly held inside the person's arms. I looked up slightly and didn't even really know who it was that held me.

"It's okay. It's going to be okay, Macey. I'm right here. I'm right here, holding you. " The voice whispered. I felt a hand slowly rub my back and I could feel myself starting to breathe again.

"Good, good. Just breathe, take a few breaths at a time. Don't force yourself, just slowly breathe." The voice exclaimed. I nodded my head and I started to breathe, normally.

"Good. You're okay." The voice smiled. I blinked and I blinked and I saw somebody who I haven't seen in a very long time.

"Hello there Macey." My father smiled down at me. I looked right up at him and my eyes were starting to become wet with tears again.

"D-Dad?" I whispered.

"I'm here." My father reminded me.