Behind Classroom Doors (student/teacher)

L- Crush and Burn

Seth doesn't hesitate to say yes and they begin to talk about video games for the rest of lunch.

I actually have my next class with Seth so I offer to show him. "You know everyone in your friend group is dating each other?"

Aside from Hunter, he doesn't hang out with us as much. "It's always been like that."

"Could I just mention that we'd be pretty unstoppable if we dated too." His words send a shiver down my spine.

I stop and turn to him, "What did you just say?" Dean said the same thing to me when he asked me out.

His playful tone becomes worrisome that he just said the wrong thing. He would be correct, "I was just kidding."

I don't answer him, instead I just continue walking to his next class. Just before he walks in I say, "I'm sorry I kind of snapped. You just said something that reminded me of someone."

He tilts his head as if to examine my expression better, "Was this someone the friend that moved away?"

I meet his eyes, "Yes."

"Well then I'm just going to have to be more careful." He smiles, "I'll see you later Livia."

After school I walk over to Shawn's room. "Come in." He says when he notices me at the door. I close it and make my way over to his desk.

"What are we working on today?" I ask as I pull up a chair and set my bag down.

He pulls out a stack of papers from his desk and hands them to me. "Grading it is."

For a while we're silent as we work. He types away on his computer just like usual and I focus on the juniors' papers. "You know your grades have been getting better all year." He says as his typing comes to a halt.

I don't stop working, "Maybe it's because I have a very close teacher to help me."

Shawn laughs, "Yeah maybe." His laughter dies down, "Have you been thinking about where you want to apply for college?"

I finally stop and meet his beautiful green eyes, "Not really, no." I know I've always wanted to go to NYU but so much has changed since then. For example what will happen to Shawn and I if I move that far away?

Is it wrong to take that into consideration? "Why not? I bet you'd get amazing scholarships."

"It's not about scholarships." I say.

"Then what's it about?"

"You." I admit, "It's about you."

Shawn sighs, "Livia you shouldn't let me hold you back from doing what you want." He's not Dean, I know that. "Besides, I'm most likely not going to stay at Brookview High after this year."

"What? Why?"

I set my pen down and give him my undivided attention. "I wasn't going to tell you until I heard back but, I want to try and move up."

"Move up?"

"Like to a college, it's better pay and I have some connections thanks to my uncle. I've been putting in applications for next year." Something tells me none of the applications are for Colorado. Was he going to tell me or just let me down when he moves somewhere else for a new job? I feel like Shawn has decided that he doesn't want me anymore. "Say something." He demands.

I look down, "I don't have anything to say."

"Bullshit."

"Bullshit?" I ask, "I guess I just thought that once I graduated we would be together."

I suddenly feel so stupid, like a child. "Livia it's more complicated than that..."

Not to me, to me it made perfect sense. "I should go home, Hunter can finish these tomorrow." I rush to stand and grab my bag. As I leave Shawn calls after me but I don't listen. Instead I get out of the school and to my car as quickly as possible.

As soon as I get inside my car the floodgates open. Crying over Shawn feels ridiculous but I can't help it. I didn't expect that he would try to leave but I can't get in his way either. It just hurts and I can't help but let myself cry it out in the student parking lot. So much has happened this year alone, I'm not ready to face college by myself. "Goddammit!" I curse at my steering wheel. He told me he loved me and that he would always be here for me. I see him everyday and I pretend that my feelings for him don't outweigh my need for space. This entire time he's been trying to leave when all I can focus on is Shawn. I've turned into a lovesick puppy pining after her teacher. I've turned into a girl who wants something she can never have.