Time To Pretend

Chapter Twelve: Sweets

Olivia had been Vera's shoulder to cry on whenever Freddie wasn't around. Not that she minded. She saw Vera as a sort of mother figure. And this grief that Vera was showing was breaking Olivia's heart.
"I'm sorry. I always throw my problems at you." Vera says, wiping her wet cheeks.
"No it's fine." Olivia says, still groggy. She glances at the clock that reads 4:15.
"Did you want to sleep?" Vera asks.
"No. I'm awake. No point in going back to sleep. Unless you want to crash. I'll let you lay with me." Olivia says.
"I mean you're already in my bed." she says with a laugh.
"No. I can't sleep." Vera says, leaning her head against Olivia's.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Olivia asks. Vera sighs, lifting her head and turning toward Olivia.
"I just don't see how things will ever turn out okay for me in the end. I'm never going to be happy without him but I don't know how I can be happy with him after everything he has done." she says.
"He just seems...confused. I've heard rumors that he is going to divorce his wife." Olivia says.
"Who did you hear that from?"
"Max." she says.
"Well...do you think it's true?" Vera asks a little too eagerly.
"Vera...even if it's true, are you sure that's what is best for you?" Olivia asks.
"I...I...I just don't feel happy without him. It's like a part of me is missing. I can't help but thinking all of this would be easier if I could just forget about him but it seems impossible."
"You're never going to be able to forget about him." Olivia says.
"Gee, thank you. Your advice helps me so much." Vera says sarcastically.
"No, let me finish. You're never going to forget about him. You're always going to love the color of his eyes and you're going to search for someone with the same contagious laugh. You will never fully get over him. You'll have nights where all you can do is cry from the pain and heartbreak. You're going to miss him with everything you have. But you are going to be okay. I promise that it will get easier and things will be okay-"
"No. No, no, you don't understand." Vera says, interrupting her.
"You don't get it. Loving someone who doesn't love you back is one thing. But loving someone who you think loves you back, then finding out they never really did...it's a completely different thing. It crushes you. You think everything is great...and you're planning your future with him and you can't imagine your world without him...and then everything is ripped out from under you. It hurts like hell and it won't stop hurting. It never will. And you will never understand the pain until you experience it." she says, staring at the blanket. She finally looks up at Olivia and sighs.
"It will never get better." she whispers.
Olivia looks like she is about to cry so Vera pulls her in for a tight hug.
"I'm so sorry." Olivia whispers, her tears dampening Vera's shirt. Vera releases her and lays down on the pillows.
"I want him so badly...but he just keeps hurting me." Vera whispers. Olivia lies down next to Vera and grabs her hand.
"It's impossible to find someone who won't hurt you at some point. So just find someone who makes the pain worth it." Olivia says. Vera smiles at the young girl, her forehead resting against Olivia's.
"Let's get some sleep." Vera whispers with a pained smile.

The next morning had been a little easier for Vera. Both Olivia and Freddie had helped in keeping Nestor out of Vera's sight. Unfortunately, they always somehow managed to run into each other. It was as if their bodies were magnets. Nothing could keep them apart.
"Vera." Nestor calls out from behind the three of them. Vera turns around to face him while Freddie and Olivia quickly step in front of Vera, blocking her from Nestor's view.
"Come on, I just need to talk to her." Nestor pleads.
"I think you've done enough already." Freddie says.
"We won't let you hurt her anymore, Nestor." Olivia adds.
Nestor ignores the two children and looks at Vera who's eyes are filled with pain.
"V, please. I just...let me apologize." he whispers.
"Apology accepted. Thanks." she says softly before turning around.
Nestor sighs and walks across the lot to stare at her from afar like he had been doing since he screwed things up. Chris had arrived and somehow managed to peel the twins, Freddie and Olivia, off of Vera.
Nestor can't help but smile at Vera's smile. He missed seeing it. He missed being the cause of it. Even if the smile she is wearing now was a forced one. He can always tell when she is forcing a smile.
"A cupcake?" Chris asks.
"Yeah. And I want pink frosting on top." she says.
"Don't you think you should cut down on the sweets?" he asks. Nestor rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Vera looks at the ground sadly and doesn't reply.
"Hey." Max says, walking up to Nestor.
"Hey." Nestor says, sounding upset. Max ignores the tone and continues the conversation about the filming and directing process, trying to learn from Nestor's experiences.

It was late at night and Vera hadn't spoken to Chris since their fight earlier which ended in him storming off while Vera put on a brace face and continued work. A soft knock on her door interrupted her thoughts. She got up, expecting to find Chris. She was sure he would apologize.
But what she found instead was a cupcake with pink frosting on it and a card. She picked it up and read the card carefully.
Beautiful Vera
I thought about telling you this in person but you seem to have body guards by your side, protecting you from me, wherever you go. I want to apologize for contributing to the suffering of your heart. I regret so much everything that went down between us and I wish I could take it back. My divorce is finalized. I am free.
I am writing this because...I want to be your best friend again. It sounds so immature to ask but I don't know what else to do. I can't stand not talking to you and joking around with you. If you aren't ready yet...then I will wait. Waiting is so difficult but I will spend as much time alone as I have to if it means spending the rest of my life with you by my side.
Yours truly, forever
Nestor
P.S. A cupcake with pink frosting, as requested. You deserve it, my dear.
She smiles widely, holding the card tightly to her chest. She opened the door and looked left and right but the parking lot was empty.
"Nes?" she calls out. She steps outside and walks in the direction of his trailer. That's when she spots him in between Max's trailer and Olivia's.
"Nestor." she calls out, walking to him. He turns around with surprise, a cigarette in his first two fingers.
"You're smoking?" she asks with surprise.
"You're talking to me again." he says with a smile. She smirks, looking away.
"I just came to thank you for the cupcake." she says, trying to hide her giddiness at the feeling of talking to him again.
"Oh. You're welcome." he says with a smile.
"I overheard you talking about it and I just thought that maybe-"
"This doesn't mean we are friends again." she says, interrupting him. He looks at her with surprise.
"You hurt me. A lot. And I am going to need time to build that trust again." she says, looking into his brown eyes.
"I know. I'll wait as long as I have to. Like I said in the card. I mean it, V. I miss you." he says. She sighs, feeling herself give in.
"And I can't be friends with a smoker. I won't have you killing yourself right in front of me, Nestor Carbonell." she says in a motherly tone. He smiles and drops the cigarette to the ground, crushing it beneath his shoes.
"Better?" he asks with a smile.
"Better."
"Now are you going to help me eat this cupcake or not?" she asks. He chuckles and follows her back to her trailer.