Time To Pretend

Chapter Nine: Choose

"Your turn to choose." she says with a smile, handing him the cd case. He flips through the cds, finally settling on one. He inserts the disc and Frank Sinatra fills the air.
"What is this?" she asks with a smile.
"Young at Heart. Have you never heard it?" he asks with surprise.
"It sounds familiar." she says, listening to the tune. He grabs her hands, pulling her up from the couch, making her laugh. He leads them in a dance around the living room.
"You keep me young." she says, smiling brilliantly at him.
"Love makes you immortal." he says in agreement.
"Is that so?" she asks. He nods and they go back to dancing and getting lost in each other's eyes.
"In another world, we are married." Vera says.
"We are?" he asks.
"Wouldn't you think so?" she asks. He thinks for a minute before nodding.
"We are." he says.
"Are we actors?" he asks.
"No. Not in this world."
"Then how did we meet?" he asks curiously.
"We met...at the park." she says.
"You were walking your dog and you asked me for directions to the nearest coffee shop." he says, easily following her story.
"You refused to tell me until I told you my name."
"And then I showed you the way. Which led to a deep conversation over a crappy cup of coffee." he says, making her laugh.
"How did you propose?" she asks.
"It was raining. We were in the car listening to one of your weird favorite bands at the time-"
"At the time?" she asks.
"You had a different favorite band each week." he says.
"Now don't interrupt." he says with a smile.
"Sorry." she whispers with a soft smile.
"We were in the car. I wanted to do it somewhere meaningful like your church or the park where we met. But in that moment, I looked into your eyes and I just couldn't help myself. I couldn't stand not being with you for another second." he says.
"And our wedding? What was it like?" she asks.
"It was beautiful. Small but perfect. We were married on a mountain, just as the sun was setting so the sky was a mix of pink and red. You wore a beautiful white dress and veil. You looked stunning. Words couldn't describe your beauty. The reception was short because we were just too excited for the honeymoon."
"Where did we go?"
"We toured the castles in Europe. Though we spent most of our time in the bedroom." he says with a smirk and a wink. She laughs harder than she had laughed in a long time.
"I bet we did." she says.
"You got pregnant not long after our marriage. It was a boy. His name was Oliver. He had two little sisters, twins, who called him Ollie. Their names were Charlie and Payton. They had your smile and your eyes-"
"But they had your lashes and dimples." she adds. He smiles even wider, displaying the dimples on his cheeks as if to prove her point.
"Yes. They were..."
"Beautiful." she finishes with a smile.
"The girls were dancers and Oliver played soccer-"
"Oh that makes me a soccer mom." she says.
"They went off and got married and we grew old together. We died just minutes apart in our sleep. They said that we were so in love that when your heart stopped, mine had forgotten how to work without you. Our love was one for the books." he whispers, resting his head against hers. A tear slides down her cheek, wishing she could have everything he just described. She didn't want this life.
"Let's go to bed." he says, feeling her pain as he turns off the music.
It had only been two months but it felt like a lifetime since that night. They had been successful so far in keeping their relationship a secret and they were comfortable. Though lately, Vera had began to doubt her decision. How long would they keep this up? She stares at his peaceful face as he sleeps next to her. They hadn't had sex yet which seemed safe to Vera. She didn't want to get too attached in case things went badly. She slowly reached out and ran her finger across Nestor's long dark eyelashes.
"Having fun?" he asks, scaring her. He opens his eyes and smiles at her.
"Sorry. Did I wake you?" she asks.
"Yes. But I needed to get up." he says, sitting up. She pushes him back down and lays her head on his chest, looking up at him.
"Maybe I'll lay here just a little longer." he says, rubbing her back.
"Nes?" she asks hesitantly as she draws aimlessly on his chest with her finger.
"Hm?" he hums in response.
"Where is this going? Do we have a future?" she asks. She didn't want to ask. She wanted to stay in her perfect bubble with Nestor but she had to know.
"You're asking if I will leave my wife?" he asks.
"Well...I don't want to be that girl but...I am sort of already that girl. I mean I am laying in bed with a married man." she says, feeling the self loathing feeling come over her like a familiar blanket.
"I haven't thought much about it. I just...I like where we are now, you know? I like being here with you." he says. She smiles, not wanting to argue with him. Not now anyways.
"Yeah." she says, laying her cheek on his chest.
"We should get up." he says. She sighs, getting out of bed and grabbing her shoes.
"Where are you going?" he asks.
"My trailer. I have to do my hair." she says, not wanting him to see her cry.
"Can't you do it here?" he asks. She quickly closes the door behind her and jogs to her trailer. Once her door is shut and locked, she lets herself slide to the ground. She hated who she had become. Who he made her be. She was never the woman that messed around with married men. Marriage was sacred to her and she was choosing to ruin someone else's for her own pleasure.
The tears ran down her cheeks like a river and a sob escaped her throat, almost choking her.
She had never hated herself more than she did in that moment.
After an hour of crying and hating herself, she finally pulled herself off of the ground and walked onto set, trusting the makeup crew to hide her tear stained cheeks and raw eyes. But they only had so much makeup.
"Are you alright?" Freddie asks, walking up to her. She smiles softly, not meaning it.
"Didn't get a good night sleep." she says. He nods, letting her lie slide.
"You can talk to me, you know. I've been told I am a great listener." he says with a smile. Vera smiles honestly, wrapping her arm around Freddie's waist to give him a hug.
"I know, honey." she says.
"Ready on set."