to all the glowing eyes ✎ joshler

december 18

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"hi, mom," josh says into the phone, brendon sitting next to him on the bed. it's around 10:52 pm, tyler has already gone to sleep as well as jenna, so the two friends have the small apartment to themselves now.

"josh! hello, sweetie. how are you? how's brendon? it's been a while since we heard about you." his mom's voice is so comforting, even brendon is emotional over it. she may not be his birth mother, but spiritually she's the second best mother figure he's ever had, right after lily .

"hi, mrs. dun," brendon speaks into the phone too, getting intimately closer to josh while he does it.

"hi, brendon. how have you boys been? is housesitting going well?"

josh gulps and looks at his best friend for help. he can't bring himself to lie to his mom... again. thankfully, brendon is there for him. "we're alright. it's been kinda boring, actually. we only play video games for the most part."

"that's good. remember that too much screen time isn't good for your eyes. oh, i almost forgot. josh, are you feeling okay, honey? pete called me yesterday and said that you were feeling sick. do you want me to pass by and drop off some soup for you?" if there's something to describe the pure panic and horror in josh's eyes as his mom talks, i don't know what it is. he stares at brendon, looking for answers in his eyes but he gets nothing.

"i'm fine. it was just coughing. it's gone now," josh face palms. he isn't lying, he wasn't sick at all. he's just fuming at brendon.

"hmm... okay. if you boys need anything don't hesitate on calling."

"don't worry about us, we'll be just fine. we can live with each other," brendon puts his arm around josh's shoulders to try to get him to calm down.

"alright. well, bill and i were talking and we said that you both should come home for christmas. i can talk with your mother, brendon. i'm sure she won't mind you joining us for dinner on the 25th. you can leave the house for one night."

"that's really sweet of you, mrs. dun. i'd love to join you. thank you," the older of the two says in a kind voice.

"uh- we gotta go, mom. bye, tell everyone i love them." josh hangs up and puts his phone next to him and looks at brendon, anger in his eyes. "what the hell was that?! why did she think i was sick?!" he shakes off the arm around his shoulder. he isn't mad but he is pissed off.

"pete invited us to this party at williams' house and i had to lie. you'd rather have me tell him the truth? tell him we're out here instead of stuck in my house playing mario party? it's not like i said you had a terminal illness or something," he rolls his eyes and sighs, looking down at his hands resting on his lap, "we could've gone to that party, y'know? it sounded like a lot of fun. it's in a fucking cabin, we haven't gone to a party in a cabin in a while."

josh shakes his head, averting his gaze from brendon. he's not as pissed off now thanks to the explanation, but he is offended by the fact that his best friend wants to be somewhere else. he's supposed to be there for him all the time. why is he being so selfish about this?

"there's gonna be a lot of parties," he begins to say, getting into a laying position to sleep, "i won't have many chances with tyler."

"and clearly he's the only thing on your mind," brendon copies him, but instead of getting closer to cuddle for warmth, he stays in his side of the pullout bed. he isn't in the mood to give josh affection he doesn't deserve.

"why would i think about anything else? we're here for him, remember? i want the guy i love to love me back."

josh puts his phone on the floor, connecting it so it charges overnight. he doesn't wanna mention the job offer to brendon yet, it's not the right time. maybe he will tomorrow or the next day. something tells him that his friend isn't into him right now. he closes his eyes and can't hear brendon when he murmurs a low, "me too."

{🌹💌🌹}

hi !! this chapter is 90% what i wrote in one night when i was full of inspo and 10% something else

today i had a biostatistics test and i think i'm gonna fail it :') . i love college

i've seen a few comments about making this book end with a polygamous relationship but,, idk man, that's not in my plans so far but we'll see

i'm tired and don't know what to say here

uhh, that's it

see you next week !!

- alaska x