The Entirely Truthful Observation Records of My Extra Ordinary Family

19: Aren't we leading this kid down the wrong path?

Adults

During the summer, one of our younger cousins (9) came to stay with us for a couple weeks. Because she was getting bored at home, Still and I decided to take her out to a movie.

Me: So which movie did you want to see? There's this animated kid's movie out right now. Did you want to see that?

Cousin Ordinary: I've already seen it.

Me: Oh, then what do you want to watch?

Cousin Ordinary: This action movie looks cool.

Still: Are you sure you want to watch that? You might not understand the plot.

Cousin Ordinary: I can just watch the action scenes!

Me: Well, alright.

[Because the movie is rated PG-13, half way through, a particular dirty joke regarding adult videos is made and everyone laughs.]

Cousin Ordinary [turning to Still and whispering]: Why is everyone laughing? What's an "adult video"?

Still: ...They're videos made for adults...

Cousin Ordinary: But what's on them?

Still: Just...boring adult stuff really. [smiles awkwardly] I wouldn't really know...I'm not technically an adult yet.

Cousin Ordinary: Oh. [Turns to me] Very, you're an adult. Have you seen any adult videos?

Me: Nope. Not at all! Hey look! It's one of those flashy action scenes you like!

[Cousin turns attention to screen. In the dark Still and I share a sigh of relief.]

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Pretty

Me: Hey my friend will be joining us at the mall today, okay?

Cousin Ordinary: ...But that'll be so weird...I don't know your friend.

Me: She's nice. You'll like her.

Cousin Ordinary: Is she pretty?

Me: Uh what kind of a question is that? And um I think she is but it's weird of me to judge a friend's looks. You'll have to see for yourself.

[At the mall my cousin is shy at first but she soon warms up to my friend.]

Me: So did you have fun today?

Cousin Ordinary: Yeah!

Me: See, I knew you would. Oh right, was my friend pretty enough for you?

Cousin Ordinary: Mhmm. I think your friend is prettier than you.

[Still who's nearby laughs as I make a face.]

Cousin Ordinary: But don't worry, Very. I still think you're prettier than Still.

Still: ...

After this my cousin rose a few notches in my book because I realized that she's one of the few people who can leave  my sister speechless.

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Blackjack

As we had cards at home we decided to teach my cousin how to play Blackjack.

Mrs. Ordinary: You've gotten the hang of it now eh? Why don't you bet more?

Cousin Ordinary: I don't want to, auntie. I might lose it all!

Mrs. Ordinary: You have to bet big to win big!

Cousin Ordinary: Don't want to!

[In that round, Cousin ends up having a good hand and wins.]

Mrs. Ordinary: See. If you had bet more you would've been able to win more money during that hand. You seem to be on a lucky streak, be bolder!

Cousin Ordinary: Okay...[She bets a large amount].

Aunt Ordinary [who's been acting as dealer]: You're at 14 points, will you hit or stand?

[Cousin looks to Mrs. Ordinary.]

Mrs. Ordinary: The dealer's face up card is an ace so they might have a blackjack. In this situation, you should hit. 

Cousin Ordinary: Okay. Hit me.

[Aunt Ordinary deals her another card. It's a queen bringing her total points to 24.]

Aunt Ordinary: That's a bust, kiddo. [Taking her bet away] I'll be claiming these.

Cousin Ordinary [shooting Mrs. Ordinary a look]: I followed your advice and now I lost everything!

Mrs. Ordinary [smiling sheepishly]: I guess your lucky streak ended...

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Fare

Me: You took our cousin to the arcade today right? Did the bus fare end up costing a lot since it's far?

Still: It actually wasn't that bad. I didn't have to pay for our cousin.

Me: Oh, did our aunt give you more money?

Still: Nope, I told the bus driver our cousin was five so her fare was free.

Me: ...Ethics aside, did no one really question it? I mean she's nine.

Still: Nope, she's so short everyone bought it. Honestly, it's harder to buy that she's actually nine at her height.

Me: And our cousin just went with that?

Still: Oh, she was very cooperative. When I told her to that she had to be five, she pulled out an extra hair tie and put her hair in pigtails. Then she said that if anyone were to question her about her age she would say she's five and purposefully hold up four fingers to make it convincing.

Me: ...