The Entirely Truthful Observation Records of My Extra Ordinary Family

4: Is education really necessary?

Trees

[Still, age, 9]

Teacher: Class, today we'll be walking around the school's garden and writing on the things we can learn from nature and the outdoors.

[Thirty minutes later inside the classroom]

Teacher: Still, could you come up and read out what you've written to the class?

Still [standing up and reading from her paper]: People love trees because they find them beautiful. People find trees beautiful because they are twisty and crooked. Thus, we should all be like trees and live as crookedly as possible.

Teacher: ...

Still [looking up]: Ah, teacher, your face right now is perfect! [Shooting her a proud thumbs up] Very tree-like!

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Charity

[Still, age 13]

Close Friend A: Did you get the position?

Still: No. They said they wanted someone with more experience running charity events.

Close Friend B [running over]: Look guys! I just found out I can lick my elbow! Check it out! [Twisting his arm to lick his elbow]

Close Friend A: Cool! Let me try! [Going cross-eyed in attempt to lick elbow] Woah, this is really hard!

Close Friend B: Hehe, it's a special talent only few can master. [Laughs maniacally]

Close Friend A: Let me follow you, great leader! [Bows down to Close Friend B]

Still: And they said I'm not charitable. I mean I hang out with you guys, don't I?

Close Friend A: ...

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Test

Still: Did you guys pass the last lit test?

Close Friend A: I did!

Close Friend B: Nope.

Still [looking at him]: Really? You didn't pass?

Close Friend B: I only got marks for the multiple choice section.

Close Friend A [shocked]: You got all of the written questions wrong? Every single one of them?

Close Friend B: Hm, well it's not so much that I got them wrong as I didn't do them.

Still: You didn't do them..? Did you run out of time?

Close Friend B: No, I had time. I just didn't feel like it since it seemed like a lot of work. I probably would have done okay on them. I mean I got a perfect score on the multiple choice section. 

Close Friend A: Won't you have to do a retake then? Isn't that a lot more work?

Close Friend B: ...I hadn't thought of that...

Still: You know, you're not stupid but sometimes you're really stupid.

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Bread

Sometimes Still goes on field trips with her classmates and whenever they visit a new place their teachers will treat them to a nice meal.

Close Friend B: Wow, a fancy restaurant really is different! Look at all the baskets of decorative bread they have lying around! Imagine, wasting all that bread to make a display!

[Still chuckles as she looks at him]

Close Friend B: What?

Still: Nah, I was just thinking that you and decorative bread have a lot in common.

Close Friend B: Me and decorative bread?

Still: Mhmm, you're both flaky and fun to have around but ultimately useless.

Close Friend B: ...Wait...you really think I'm fun to have around? [Beaming]

Still: ...People with selective hearing are hard to deal with.