it's okay ; changkyun

ten

Kihyun could hear Wonho in the next room over, talking to Changkyun. The latter seemed fairly calm, or at least Kihyun couldn't hear him as much as he heard the older vocalist. After some time, the crying died down and footsteps could be heard padding down the hallway. Wonho opened the door to the room and, immediately, his gaze fell on Kihyun, who had been sitting on the bed.

The main vocalist suddenly remembered the deal he had made, that he would give Wonho a kiss if he made things right with Changkyun. Part of him regretted it, because he didn't even like men, and it might encourage the older to ask for kisses more often. However, a part of him figured that Wonho deserved it, and after all the stress the older had endured, he should at least get a kiss.

Before he knew it, he was slammed against the mattress, a pair of lips on his own. He yelped, but it was muffled by the needy kiss that had crashed upon him. Wonho had his hands pinned down and his legs were locked under the older's weight. He was completely trapped.

It didn't matter, though, because he wouldn't have tried to escape anyways. He agreed to it a while ago, and maybe—just maybe—it wasn't so bad. After all, lips were lips, and though it was a bit different from the kisses he had shared with girls (granted, there weren't many) but it didn't make a difference, right?

Kihyun told himself it didn't make a difference at all.

The older pulled away for a breath, and a moan involuntarily escaped Kihyun's mouth. "Shit."

"Not so bad, is it?" Wonho asked, a smirk playing on his lips.

Kihyun shook his head and breathily answered, "You can keep going if you want."

And he did.

Hyunwoo was tired. He was so tired. Being the leader was hard work. It wasn't that the group members themselves were causing him stress (now that everything g had been patched up, he didn't have to worry about someone getting themselves killed). Their manager wasn't stressing him out, either. The vocal trainers, the choreographer, the staff, everyone was okay.

Hyunwoo was making himself so tired.

He didn't trust himself to be the leader. The company should have picked him in the first place. Over and over, he had failed his team in No Mercy. He was too quiet for his own good, too afraid to speak up and calm everyone down. There was not an ounce of leader in his body, so why did they choose him?

He layed back on the couch and stared up at the blank ceiling of the dorm. He heard someone shuffle into the living room, but he didn't look up.

"Hyunwoo," said a familiar husky voice. Minhyuk sat on the arm of the couch. "What's up?"

The leader reached a hand above his head and placed it in Minhyuk's lap. The younger laced their fingers together and hummed in question.

"Am I doing a good job?"

Minhyuk's leaned over so Hyunwoo could see his face. There was still a foot of space between them, but Hyunwoo could feel his cheeks heat up from the close proximity. "Is this about being a good leader or a good singer? Because you're doing great at both."

Hyunwoo lolled his head to the side, breaking their gaze. "I can't do it. If I'm representing the group, we'll get nowhere."

Minhyuk got off the arm of the couch and sat down on the floor. "Hyunwoo, just turn to me whenever you need courage to say anything. You can do it. You're a good leader." He smiled, and Hyunwoo couldn't help but do the same.

Kihyun found himself curled into Wonho's side. Thousands of questions clouded his mind. Did he like guys, or was he just lonely and needy? Did he just like Wonho, and not other guys? Did he even like Wonho as something more than a friend?

Kihyun decided that the first question was the most important. He knew that he liked girls because they were attractive. Guys were attractive, too, but how did he know he wasn't just admiring them? He liked it when girls made him feel strong, but would a guy make him feel strong? Kihyun wasn't the most muscular person, so he doubted a guy would let the vocalist baby him. Lastly, he tried to picture himself with a guy, intimately. It was a little difficult. The thought of such acts made him uncomfortable (especially as he was cuddling a guy who definitely preferred the same sex).

He thought back to the time he had gotten so close to kissing Changkyun. It had been early in the morning, so neediness was out of the question. There must have been some sort of attraction behind it. Changkyun was quite attractive, in his opinion. The youngest also let Kihyun baby him.

But did that mean Kihyun liked Changkyun enough to date him?

No. He didn't. He couldn't possibly see himself with Changkyun. He loved their youngest member, but not in that way. That didn't explain his urge to kiss him that morning, but he decided that he hadn't been in his right mind.

Kihyun had to admit, he was quite in need of affection, and being surrounded by boys, there was only one option. Oh, god, could I be turning myself gay? No, that's impossible.

He rolled over to face Wonho. The older's eyes were closed; he had probably fallen asleep. Kihyun could check attractive off for the dancer. His features were perfect, ethereal, even, and anyone would be lying to say that the man was unattractive. Although Kihyun liked to feel strong, he liked Wonho's muscular arms and legs. (Maybe he liked them a little more than he'd care to admit.) The older's personality was soft enough for Kihyun to feel like he could care for the dancer. Lastly, he was figured he could say that sex with Wonho wouldn't bother him one bit.

Maybe he wasn't gay or anything like that, but he sure knew that he liked Wonho.