the strangers series. (mgk ; machine gun kelly)

16 • 𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖊

"'cause Lord knows I can love you better than he can."
Those eleven words were seared into my brain and I couldn't shake them out of my mind no matter how hard I tried. The initial shock that overcame me made my heart stop beating but made my mind race a million miles per hour, a feeling that was completely unexplainable that it hurt me more just to even speak or think about it. It physically and mentally pained me, knowing that I had to choose between my best friend and the man I was slowly falling in love with but it also pained me to think about the fact that I didn't have to choose at all.
But if I was going to, the right choice was clear- I had to pick the man that had been there with me through thick and thin but just the thought of not being with Kells wrenched my heart and made me feel emotions I didn't know were possible to feel.
I've just never felt like this before and it was slowly eating me up inside.
I felt a hot tear slip out of one of my eyes, leaving a hotter trail down my cheek as I let it fall. I bit my lip to stifle the sob that yearned to come out, mentally shoving it back down my throat in an attempt to keep quiet.
Despite everyone still being out, I felt like breaking the silence in the house would disrupt something in me and I didn't want anything else to change. Besides, once I started crying, I was afraid I'd never stop and I didn't need anyone walking in and hearing me bawling my heart out.
I rested my head back against Kells' bathroom door, listening to my heartbeat thudding loudly in my ears as I tried to maintain my sanity. The continuous and loud thudding noise in my ears reminded me of how fast it started beating when Nick made his move on me.
I felt as if I was choking on something but there was absolutely nothing in my throat, just air that I couldn't manage to swallow. I gaped up at Nick whose calm demeanor was throwing me off more than the fact that he confessed his love for me- after all these years of being friends and not showing any interest in me in that kinda way.
An involuntary squeak crawled up my throat as I tried speaking, my brain desperately trying to think of something to say that would defuse this horrid situation,
"Nick- what are you- oh my god-"
He shook his head, dismissing my shock as he took matters into his own hands. I felt my heart kickstart against my chest as I registered what he was doing- his hands pulled me towards him in a swift movement I couldn't even recall. Before I knew it, I was between his legs, my face tilted up to meet his as his stared back down, a small smirk playing on his lips.
He must think this was all fun and games but to me, this was more serious than anything could ever be. I felt myself slowly start to lose focus of my surroundings, everything around me going blurry as I let everything shut down. if anything, I didn't wanna actually see or feel what he was gonna do to me because it wasn't what I wanted.
His nearing face grew closer and closer and blurrier along with it and I felt gone- it was just hard to accept that this was really happening, my shock and confusion taking control for a momentary second. I had felt absolutely helpless to myself earlier but now, with his nose an inch away from mine, I felt something ignite inside me, driving my fight or flight instinct to kick in.
Nick didn't have a chance to kiss me as I shoved him away, the newfound strength I gained taking me by surprise as much as it surprised him.
I felt my breathlessness get the best of me as I gaped up at him, not knowing what to do or say or even begin to think. This was so unlike him and we both knew it- it was just something I wasn't expecting, no matter how many sneaking suspicions I or anyone else had.
I gasped for breath as I let my anger take control of me,
"What the fuck do you think you're doing- coming in here and springing this shit on me?!"
It was as if his earlier act of sincerity was simply that- an act. The flame in his eyes ignited along with mine as I watched his own mood change in an instant as if turned on from a light switch. He jumped off the counter, suddenly looming over me and looking as menacing as ever.
His deep voice shocked me to the core but the dark look in his eyes shocked me even more, along with the low guttural, annoyed tone laced between his words,
"I'm trying to tell you that I wanna be with you- that you should be with me instead of that fucking fucked up of an asshole who only cares about himself and only him."
It didn't take me long to realize that he was only doing this to make himself feel better. He knew he was the only man in my life that I trusted- that is until Kells walked in and switched everything up- for Nick and for me. Nick was insecure enough to try and fuck up my now-only source of happiness and that pissed me the fuck off.
I rolled my eyes, slamming my palms back into his chest to move him back as he made a move to come closer to me, one of my hands slapping his outstretched arm away on its way back to my side,
"You're fucking insane if you think imma cheat on him with you- or even begin to think that I would ever be with you."
It came out bitchier than I expected it to be but I didn't care in the heat of the moment. He deserved worse so I felt no remorse about my words. Despite feeling like punching him myself, I slowly did start to regret my words as I watched him start to close me off, his eyes turning blank along with his facial expressions.
I knew what was about to happen and I immediately regretted my choice of words, knowing very well that this wouldn't end well in the long run. Nick simply nodded and ran his hand through his hair nonchalantly, as nothing huge just happened between us.
I watched him walk away without another word from him, watched him take my heart along with him as he left me alone once again. Even though that was an asshole-move of him, i'd rather have him here with me just to have some company- me being alone with these new thoughts would kill me inside and that was the last thing I needed.
I felt my eyes fill to the brim with angry, sad, confused tears as I heard the front door slam shut, signaling that I was along all over again except with newer problems that piled right up on the old ones.
And now here I am- sitting in the bathroom of the man I was told to stay away from but just couldn't. I couldn't help but wonder if I was never there that night in the abandoned football field, if i'd ever cross path with Kells. And if I didn't, I wonder if Nick would have ever confronted me about his so-called feelings for me.
I know for sure that if Kells wasn't in the picture, I'd be with Nick but he was in the picture and it made things a million times more complicated for me.
Ha, as if things weren't hard enough already.
Just the fact that Nick's surprise visit took a sharp left turn so quickly was enough to piss me off again and it jumbled up all my feelings and thoughts, leaving a scrambled mess- more scrambled than Kells infamous cheese eggs.
Ugh, Kells.
I was still debating whether I should tell Kells about Nick and his proposition but I knew the right answer was no- I knew that if I told him, Kells wouldn't be so kind to him like the last time. I had no doubt that Kells would go all out and let his anger get the best of him but I also wasn't sure if that was such a bad idea.
Nick should learn a lesson or two about respecting other peoples' decisions and love lives. I groaned as I stuffed my bare face into my hands, letting the muffled sound fill the big bathroom. It echoed and continued on for a few more seconds, haunting me like a dark, storm cloud above my head. I was too busy trying to calm myself down until I was scared shitless by the sudden vibration by my side.
I glanced down at the source of the sound to see my phone with its screen lit up. All I could see was the green text message icon that came with iMessage and I immediately groaned- I wasn't in the mood to text anyone.
Despite that, I picked up my phone anyway, swiping left and unlocking the phone. I felt my heart rate decrease as I took deep breaths, my eyes catching sight of the contact name as the conversation loaded,