14 • 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚

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You'd think i'd be used to the pain by now- the physical and mental pain my father maintained to inflict on me- but this time hurt the most. It's never been this bad before and it scared me.
I don't know whether it was because he hurt someone I cared for too but it still hurt me either way. It kept hurting 'til I passed out, the pain from every punch and scream of my name from Nick ebbing away as I slipped further.
But now I felt it slowly coming back and I wanted nothing more than to slip back into unconsciousness. I didn't wanna know where I was, whether I was dead or alive.
I was scared to know.
The faint noise of music drew me further out of my close-eyed trance, the feeling of heavy hands on my stomach.
I gulped down the saliva built in my throat, relieving my dry throat as I managed to flicker my eyes open.
I was inbetween a pair of long, slender legs clad in familiar black jeans and familiar combat boots- and I immediately felt relief flood over me.
His tattooed arms were enveloping me and I was okay with it- I felt safe for once.
I noticed his torn knuckles and blood-stained fingers before I felt myself slipping back into my pain-induced coma, raising my suspicions.
I opened my mouth to say something but only let out a squeak, causing him to tense up in an instant.
I registered his handsome face leaning over me, his face bloody and probably as bruised as mine. There was concern written all over his face and it made me feel hopeful, made me wanna kiss him all over and thank him for whatever he did to get me here.
His lips moved but I couldn't make out the words, his deep but alert voice melding together in an incomprehensible string of sounds.
I tried speaking again but the pain blaring through my face was too much to bare. Before I knew it, my heavy, swollen eyes were shut again, leaving me in the dark.
Later on, I regained some consciousness again as I felt my body pressing against his chest and his arms carrying me.
My neck lolled back and forth to his gait as he walked us somewhere, god knows where, but I didn't have the strength to open my eyes and see for myself.
I let him take me where he wanted to, leaving my life in his hands. My ears immediately picked up the sound of men and a few women, familiar voices that made me feel safer than ever.
I couldn't make sense of any of their words, Kells' included, but I could tell they were in a panic from the urgent tone in their voices. I was too busy trying to stay awake and keeping the pain at bay for as long as I could to care so I didn't pay attention to them. I felt his chest vibrate as he spoke, my consciousness losing its power with each vibration as more hands touched me.
I yearned to open my eyes and tell them I was okay but I felt myself succumb to the pain once more, leaving my body behind as I felt myself slipping again.
I had no idea how much time had passed once I regained consciousness for the third time, making me feel wary about my surroundings.
The pain in my face was still there but it wasn't as strong anymore, thankfully. I groaned a little as Kells' strong hands laid me on something soft, my aching fingers gripping onto the familiar plush leather I was laying on. Kells' voice sounded by my ear, his hot breath on my cheek,
"Slim, get a wet towel and the cleaning shit, now,"
There was some footsteps and shuffling but I didn't pay it any heed, focusing on Kells' breathing by my ear.
My tired fingers aimlessly gripped the familiar leather and I immediately knew it was one of Kells' couches and I wanted nothing more than to just fall asleep again.
I felt sleep starting to overcome my tired body and mind until a female voice that rang out through the quiet living room caught my attention,
"Oh my god- what the fuck happened?" What did you do?!"
As if a switch flipped, it seemed as if a million hundred voices started up at once, each and every one of them shouting at each other. Hearing all of them yelling at each other drove me to open my tightly-shut eyes. I hated hearing all of that, especially since they had no reason to blame each other for something my father did.
I groaned again as I turned my neck, my blurry vision clearing up again as I tried blinking my swollen eye, the shapes of bodies crowding around the living room in my line of sight.
Once my eyes became acquainted with being open, I was met with the sight of Lola yelling at Kells and Kells yelling back at Lola. I noticed Rook holding her back from him and Baze and Ryan pushing Kells back with a hand on his chest, trying their best to calm them down.
It broke my heart, seeing the two of them blaming shit they didn't do on each other, especially since I cared about them both.
I opened my mouth to yell but could only croak out a few words,
"Hey... Stop..."
Thankfully, it was enough to get Ryan's attention, his eyes widening and eyebrows relaxing as he noticed me reacting to the cacophony.
He nodded towards me, catching Kells' attention. I felt my heart ache as Kells faced me, the cuts and bruise on the side of his face making me feel worse than ever. I hoped my father didn't do that but I didn't have time to worry as Kells lunged to me, worry in his eyes. It was as if he forgot about Lola, every ounce of his attention on me as he cracked a small smile,
"Hey, i'm here, i'm here,"
I gasped for breath as I relaxed back into the couch, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders as his bloodied hands wrapped around mine.
The commotion behind us died down as Rook, Dub, Baze, Ryan, and some other people filed out, leaving just him, Lola and I in silence.
The familiar burning sensation in my eyes started up as I forced my lids open again, my teary eyes landing on his beat face,
"I'm sorry,"
I was sorry that he had to see whatever he saw, sorry for whatever happened to him, sorry for dragging him into my fucked up life, but he didn't get it.
He shook his head, his smile faltering a little as he tried figuring out what I was so sorry about,
"Nothin' to apologize for."
Lola scoffed from behind him as she rounded the couch, her angry eyes on him the whole time as she glared down at him kneeling by my side,
"How about you apologize for bringing her so much fucking trouble, huh?"
Kells' demeanor changed in an instant, making him look like the ruthless drug dealer instead of the caring man I grew to like so much. He clenched his jaw as he looked up at her, anger and annoyance in his facial expression,
"You think I had somethin' to do with this? That this was my fucking fault?"
Lola crossed her arms, cocking her hip in a sassy way as her eyes flickered over to meet my half-closed ones,
"Oh, so if it's not your fault, then whose is it?"
The silence that ensued immediately after made my heart ache even more because she had no idea. I heard my joints pop and bones crack as I managed to pull myself upright, with some help from Kells.
He sat on the couch next to me with a hand on my back as I looked up at Lola and her waiting eyes, a single tear falling down my cheek and stinging the shit out of one of my cuts.
Seeing me cry caused Lola's anger to falter, her eyebrows relaxing slowly as she took in my hesitation.
She immediately sat down on my other side, hands on my legs as she waited for an answer- an answer I knew she'd hate.
I sighed as I made eye contact with her through blurry eyes, her quivering lips and teary eyes matching mine,
"It was... my- my dad."
I knew she had an idea about who it was, since this kinda thing has happened before, but I also knew she wasn't ready for it.
It has never been this bad before so of course she wouldn't think of him first, I couldn't blame her. But of course she would think it had to do with Kells since she thought he was a danger to be around which irritated me a little.
Lola gasped a little as she started to cry, her arms pulling me in for a hug that felt like an apology- an apology for making me feel stupid and an apology for what happened to me.
She sighed into my hair, the anger in the tone of her voice now directed at my father instead of Kells,
"That son of a fucking bitch better watch out,"
I pulled away from her as Kells scoffed, his hand on my back getting tenser at the mention of my father. He shook his head in disbelief, disgust written all over his scowl,
"A-fucking-men."
I glanced over to meet his dark blue eyes staring into mine, the bruise on his cheek reminding me of the fact that I didn't know how he got it in the first place. I lifted a hand and rested it under the bruise, covering the dripped, dried blood on his skin with my hand,
"Please tell me he didn't..."
The small smile that appeared on his lips made his anger seem non-existent, his pupils dilating as he leaned his face into my hand,
"He didn't. It was Nick."
Hearing that made me question whether I knew anything at all. The idea of one of my best friends harming him seemed almost impossible, mostly because it was hard to believe Nick could be that stupid. Even I knew better than to hurt a drug dealer who happened to be my boss.
I raised an eyebrow, watching him smirk in amusement as he registered Lola and I's shocked reactions,
"Why the fuck?"
Something told me it was because of Nick's mistrust for him and the shake of Kells' head confirmed my suspicions.
Lola shuffled around on the couch, shoulders tense as she stared at Kells who made no move to make eye contact with her,
"Is he okay?"
He didn't bother answering her, just kept his eyes trained on my cheek as he continued what he was doing.
His silence didn't really alarm me as I took his nonchalance as a way of him saying nothing that bad happened to our best friend.
I parted my lips to keep bugging him about it but I was cut off from Slim running back into the living room. I glanced over as he noticed me awake, already by my side with a couple of wet rags, a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, and some cotton balls.
I didn't have to look at the white label to know it was that kind of alcohol- i've had my fair share of cleaning the boys' cuts with my own bottle.
I forced a small smile as he handed one rag to Kells, already unscrewing the cap off the bottle as he gushed,
"Do you feel light-headed? Dizzy? Anythin'?"
I shrugged, cringing a bit as Kells started in on rubbing the blood off my skin while Slim busied himself with soaking the cotton ball in the rubbing alcohol,
"I don't know- I definitely don't feel great."
Slim shrugged right back, managing to chuckle a little as he tried lighting up the mood in the room,
"As expected."
He obviously failed but I didn't mention it- at least the man was trying to act as normal as he could. Lola scoffed and rolled her eyes but managed to smile back at him, trying to make him feel better about it.
I didn't have time to react to him as I watched him wielding the hydrogen-peroxide-doused cotton ball with wary eyes. I was distracted from Slim dabbing my face with the alcohol as I saw Lola grab the extra wet towel off Slim's shoulder, making her way over to Kells. She kneeled in front of him, grabbing his hands forcefully as he shied away from her, spouting protests and flashing glares at her.
She huffed, pursing her lips at his stubbornness as she wiped away the blood on his knuckles, showing his raw skin with each wipe,
"Quit being a baby."
I wanted to smile at the sight but I didn't have the heart to- I was just too downfallen to even think about smiling for anything. Kells rolled his eyes but let her continue cleaning his wounds, the smug smirk on his lips making Lola roll her eyes in turn,
"Is this your way of apologizing?"
Slim scoffed but didn't say another word, knowing very well not to get in the middle of that. My eyes flickered over to Lola as she dropped his hands, moving on to the cuts on the side of his face. The sudden, sickly-sweet smile that overcame her was a warning and I knew it before he did. He visibly winced as she pressed hard over the cuts and bruise, her sarcastic smile growing wider as he pouted,
"Maybe I was wrong about you but i'll never apologize."
If I knew any better, i'd think she changed her mind about him but I knew deep down that she still had her doubts about him and what we had going. I nodded a "thank you" to Slim as he finished cleaning my wound, letting out a deep sigh as I laid back against the couch.
It felt as if the huge weight on my shoulders returned, making me sleepier and sadder than ever. I had no idea what to do with myself, or what to say to anyone here. I just felt so embarrassed and helpless- I wasn't used to feeling this way.
I opened my eyes again to see Kells staring over at me, Lola standing up beside Slim with the stained rag to leave us alone again. I waited until they left the room to say anything to the handsome man sitting next to me, mainly because I wanted whatever that was about to be said between us to stay between us.
Thankfully, Kells made the first move to speak. He probably understood that I was in a state of mind that didn't make me feel like talking much. He leaned his body towards me so that I had no other choice than to acknowledge him, cracking a small smile before it faltered again. The thickness in his voice gave away how much he was truly worried about me,
"I can't believe this happened to you,"
I shrugged, feeling the dizziness from before making its comeback as I stared into his light blue eyes penetrating mine. I felt paralyzed in that moment- not from my possible-concussion, but from the way his eyes entranced mine. I cleared my throat as I maintained our eye contact, studying his change in facial expressions as I spoke,
"I can."
The worry from before changed into the familiar anger and I was oddly happy that it wasn't towards me. He shook his head, disappointment written all over his sunken face as he stared down at my bruises,
"And you're okay with this? I should kill that motherfucker for even layin' a hand on you- i'll make him regret ever doin' anything to make you feel like shit."
It warmed my heart a little, the fact that he cared that strongly for me taking me by surprise but also making me feel loved and cared for. No matter how much I wanted Kells to fuck my father up, we both knew that would help nothing- not me or him.
I shook my head, averting my gaze from his as I closed my heavy eyes once again,
"No- there's no point."
Silence welcomed my words as we sat there next to each other, not bothering to fill the void between us. I know he felt disappointed with me for acting so numb and unbothered but I couldn't help but feel that way. There used to be a fire burning inside me every time my father dared to touch me but now- there was huge hole of empty nothingness.
I forced my eyes open again to be met with his intense stare- a stare that shocked me to the core. I knew what was coming next before he opened his mouth and I willed him to stop talking. He furrowed his eyebrows as he stared down at me, his lips turning into a grimace as he scowled right back down at me,
"So you're not gonna do shit about this? You're a grown fucking woman- he can go to jail for layin' a hand on you but you choose to do absolutely nothin'?"
At this point, his nostrils flared as he worked himself up with each word he spoke, his usual light blue eyes turning in to the deeper, darker blue that came out whenever he was upset. I sat back up so that I met his stare with one of my own, my hard-set gaze making him back down a little. I knew he had good intentions at heart but he was getting carried away and I knew nothing good would come out of this.
I leaned forward enough so that our noses were a few inches apart, his pupils dilating as he stared into my teary eyes,
"I don't care about him and I don't care about getting justice, okay? As long as i'm away from him, i'll be happy. As long as i'm here with you,"
I had hoped the last part would calm him down a bit but the truth in my words stung a little. I was crossing into uncharted territory with a man whose emotions were wired and unpredictable as ever but I was flat-out desperate to control him. I needed him to calm down so that he didn't fuck shit up more than it already has been.
But I got my hopes up too much for that- I sighed as he pursed his lips, shaking his head as he ran his injured hand through his hair without a second thought. I wanted him to say something- anything- but he didn't which led me to believe he didn't trust what I said- about me wanting to be here with him and being happy with it.
He glanced back over at me after a while of silence before getting up, groaning a bit as he cracked his back. I was surprised to look up and see him holding out a large hand for me to take, the angry, serious glare in his eyes from a few seconds before completely replaced with a soft gaze.
That must mean he took my words into consideration which made me feel a little bit better. I gulped down the air stuck in my throat as I slid my smaller hand in his, his slender fingers immediately wrapping around mine. In that moment, I felt safe and content which was the complete opposite of what I should be feeling, considering my injuries and broken relationship with my own blood.
I felt a wave of dizziness wash over me as he pulled me up but I brushed it off, immediately feeling his hand leave mine and the both of them pulling me up as he picked me up from my legs. I complied with his actions as I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, leaving me wrapped around him like a sloth on the trunk of a tree.
I didn't mind the stares we got from everyone else as he walked the both of us back through the kitchen, allowing my eyes to close as my ears registered the sympathetic sounds and whispers from the gang and the other people there. I usually would've shied away from all the stares and whispers but this time, I didn't give two fucks-
I just wanted to be alone with Kells.
I felt myself losing consciousness again as I let my head rock to the rhythm of his gait, each step he took taking us away from the commotion downstairs.
I guess there wasn't gonna be any drinking for the either of us tonight.
I snapped out of my daze as he closed his bedroom door with his foot, the noise rocking me awake again.
I kissed his neck as he laid me down on the silk sheets that I liked so much, drawing the cheeky smile of his that I loved onto his lips.
He didn't bother saying anything else as I smiled slightly back, giving me a deep kiss that I never wanted to forget.
The movement made my busted lip ache but I didn't care- his kisses were something i'd put myself through the pain of tearing open a wound for.
Before I could make a move to further the situation, he pulled away and left me to pout.
Kells chuckled a little as he noticed how downfallen I looked from being deprived of his lips but planted another one on my cheek before moving away.
He made his way to the door but glanced back before he left me to succumb to the sweet oblivion of sleep,
"Try to get some rest- i'll be back up here in a bit."
His sweet smile was the last thing I saw before I slipped further into sleep than I ever had before.

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