I needed you

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Back at the house Derek stopped Stiles from going inside.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked cautiously.

"I'm fine." Stiles nodded.

"What did he want?" Derek asked already knowing.

"Me." Stiles shrugged.

"And?" Derek was curious if Stiles was even considering giving Theo another chance.

"It's never gonna happen. He obviously didn't care enough then to stay so why should things be any different now?" Stiles snapped.

"Is that how you feel towards me?" Derek asked though he knew it would result in a fight.

"I know you didn't care then so it's not really the same thing. And you didn't leave me, you left the pack." Stiles shrugged.

"Stiles, I've always cared. I thought leaving was the best thing for the pack. I know now I was wrong. And you are part of the pack." Derek sighed.

"Look, Derek, I don't care. The pack forgives you and we both know that's all that matters." Stiles shook his head.

"Damn it Stiles, you are part of the pack. I'm sorry I left. I'm not leaving again." Derek hated that be yearned for Stiles' forgiveness and understanding.

"I don't care if you do." Stiles snapped.

Derek frowned. It hurt to hear Stiles say that.

Gage looked up as Stiles stalked in with a disappointed looking Derek behind him. "You two have a nice chat?"

"No conversation between Derek and I is ever nice." Stiles snapped.

"I take it you two didn't resolve your deep rooted hate for one another." Lydia said walking in from the kitchen.

"Stiles has too many trust issues to resolve anything." Derek grumbled.

"I have too many trust issues?" Stiles scoffed turning to face Derek.

"Yeah, someone makes one mistake and you write them off." Derek crossed his arms.

"Why do you care so much if I don't trust Theo?" Stiles snapped.

"This isn't about Theo." Derek growled.

"So it's about you." Stiles huffed.

"I just don't get why it bothers you so much." Derek snapped.

"Because I needed you." Stiles yelled.

The room was silent as Derek frowned at Stiles.

"We'd just lost Boyd and Erica. Cora left. Peter was back. We were all a wreck. Scott was losing it. Allison was becoming a hunter. Lydia had shut down. Isaac was still learning to control himself. I was trying to manage all of it on my own. Since the beginning, no matter what, if I needed something, I knew I could call you. Until the day Isaac and Scott shifted in the middle of school during a fight. I managed to get them out before anyone noticed. I called you ten times begging for your help. I couldn't control two raging werewolves so I turned to my alpha and you know what, he wasn't there. For days I called you begging you to show up and help me manage your pack, but you never so much as sent a text. I worried for the first week that you were hurt. I looked everywhere for you. Finally I assumed you were dead. Then Peter tells me you were fine and that you just skipped town." Stiles' face was red with anger.

"I needed you and you weren't there so yes it bothers me." Stiles snapped fighting angry tears.

Derek stood slack jawwed unsure of what to say.

"You can tell me I have trust issues all you want but you're partly to blame." Stiles turned then stalking out the door slamming it behind him.

"Good job, brother." Gage sighed heavily, going out after Stiles.

"Stiles, wait." Gage ran to stop Stiles from driving off.

"What?" Stiles snapped whirling around.

"Oh, sorry, Gage." Stiles dropped his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Gage lifted Stiles' chin.

"I didn't mean to say all that, he just...he's so..." Stiles let out a frustrated huff.

"I know but you have to understand where he was coming from. I was there when he listened to every voicemail. He wanted to be there but he was afraid more trouble like the alpha pack would follow. He would respond to your voicemails as if you were actually on the other line. He always said. 'I'm sorry Stiles, I promise it's better this way. If anyone can handle them it's you.' He said that so many times. He kept telling me how strong you were and how if you were ever turned you'd be an alpha in no time." Gage wiped a tear that had escaped Stiles eyes.

"When he heard about Gerard he was going to just call you. I told him that he had to understand trouble was going to come whether he was here or not and that his pack needed him. That's why he came back." Gage looked down at Stiles with a sympathetic frown.

"Why couldn't it have been you?" Stiles asked quietly.

"Been me?" Gage asked confused.

"Why couldn't you have been the one to come looking for Laura? Why did it have to be Derek?" Stiles clarified.

"You don't mean that. I know Derek is important to you, he's your alpha." Gage objected.

"He might be an alpha, but he's not mine, not anymore." Stiles shook his head before climbing into his jeep.

Derek who had been listening from his room felt a single tear slide down his scruffy cheek. He'd screwed up. Stiles hated him. Derek sighed when suddenly realisation set in. If Stiles hated him maybe it would help Derek get over Stiles. Maybe this is exactly what he needed.

*AN*
Who's side are we on? Derek's? Stiles'? Let me know. 😊

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