cherished affliction

When Will You Learn?

What have I done?

After Camila's sobs had weakened into silent tears, she was left asking herself that question.

It hurts.

Her limbs had become completely stiff, her bottom had grown sore, and Camila had no idea how long she'd been here, in this chair.

However, it didn't matter how long she had been in the chair...she wouldn't move.

Those were Lauren's orders and Camila was going to obey her.

She needed to. Camila needed to please her Mistress again. She had really fucked up. Now she felt helpless in this little room where everything was silent and there was nothing in sight aside from the black paint smoothly coating the walls in front of her.

What did I do wrong?

With the absence of her collar, Camila's neck felt as if it was freezing cold. That collar was the one thing that signified how special Camila was. More importantly, that collar reminded Camila everyday of whom she happily belonged to.

She felt like an idiot for forgetting to put it on for the show. Camila absolutely loved her collar. Camila loved it so much; she often wondered how Lauren would feel If she never took it off.

But now it was gone... and it was her fault.

Everything is my fault.

Camila was desperately trying to understand everything. Why would her Mistress do this to her? Why couldn't Lauren just tell Camila what she had done wrong?

Camila didn't mean to lie, she didn't know it was going end up this way. And now Lauren was hurt. Every time Camila saw Lauren's face, staring back at her in pain and disappointment, she crumbled a little bit more.

Camila had hurt Lauren so explicitly, that she no longer trusted her enough to consider her a submissive. She was done with her.

Done.

Camila wanted to scream. But the words seemed to die inside of her...along with everything else.

Camila was in this predicament because of her own actions, and now it was up to her to understand those actions and reap her own punishment.

It hurts.

At the end of it all, Camila just wanted her collar back; she just wanted to be Lauren's again. Camila just wanted another chance.

You're disobeying her.

Camila flinched. She had never meant to hurt Lauren.

She said she cared.

Why was Lauren so hurt?

Camila let her head fall forward, her skin feeling as if it would fall from her bones. The pieces just wouldn't connect.

Nothing was connecting. Everything was wrong. Camila was wrong and she had failed Lauren. She was failing Lauren. Her brown eyes began to grow hazy and Camila felt her head begin to loll as her insides clenched in pain.

Give up.

Camila felt confusion and pain. She began to wonder if this is what she had done to Lauren.

The thought was staggering, and Camila shook her head slowly. She didn't want to do this anymore. She just wanted Lauren. Camila wanted to hear Lauren say that she accepted Camila's apology and that she wasn't hurt anymore...that she cared.

Who was she anymore without Lauren?

Look at me.

This was more powerful than anything Camila had ever experienced before. She had never wanted a person so much; she had never craved the attention of someone as deeply as she craved that of Lauren's.

Camila had known since the first encounter between she and her Mistress, that there was something more to her desire. There was an intense need, an ache to belong to Lauren. At first, she wondered if it was just her lusting after their physical encounters...but mentally, she knew who she was.

She was a submissive.

Camila wanted this with every fiber of her being. She wanted to be Lauren's good girl again, and most importantly...Camila wanted to get out of here. She wanted Lauren.

She needed Lauren.

I'm sorry.

She just wanted to stay home.

Having it publicly stated that you were a "chick with a dick" wasn't the best way to go forth as a junior in high school. She was an idiot to think that it never would happen but it did.

Now everything was changing.

With every step she took down the hallways enduring the derogatory names and sometimes a particular harsh shove here and there, she wondered how long it would be until people just forgot. Her harsh reality would soon be that no one would forget.

Ever.

Somehow, her best friend Christina had managed to remain her friend despite the heat she was getting from her fellow cheerleaders. Lauren had told her that it would be all right if she wanted to protect her reputation. She understood.

She was a freak, who wouldn't be ashamed of her?

Christina, apparently.

The girl had fiercely denied that she would leave her for "stupid high school popularity", and proceeded to offer her company for the upcoming weekend. It made Lauren smile. And throughout all the pain she had endured, she was looking forward to spending time with the only friend she had left.

But something had caused Christina to cancel and ironically Lauren's mother had fallen sick. Although it sucked to miss out on much-needed quality time, Lauren was content with staying home to take care of her mother and pretending that high school students with harsh hands and words didn't exist.

That actually had been going really well up until her mother got hungry.

That found Lauren in the city at some Thai restaurant, trying to pick up the order she had placed, feeling nervous and uncomfortable with so many people around. It had been a familiar feeling since her "secret" had come out. There was this constant feeling that everyone was watching her. Judging her.

Making it up to the front of the line and getting the large bag, something caught her ear.

It was laughter.

Familiar laughter.

"Chris, I'm so glad you ditched that loser for us!"

"Yeah, me too. Who knows what would have happened to me if I would have been alone with the freak."

More loud laughter.

"She would have tried to mate with you probably, knock you up with her freaky ass kids."

"Ugh, I feel bad for her sometimes. You know she's a virgin. No girl wants to touch her junk, they're too afraid they'll catch whatever disease that made her the way she is. As a matter of fact, she'll probably always be a virgin, I can't imagine any person wanting that."

Even more laughter.

A different voice came now, "Chris you guys are friends, have you ever...you know? Seen it?"

"Who would want to see some chick's dick?" A guy's voice rung out.

"We're not friends, I haven't ever seen her dick, and I don't want to see it...it's probably small anyway. It's not even normal...she isn't normal. I'm ashamed I ever spoke to her."

Lauren turned around, her eyes stinging and her knuckles white as they clenched the plastic bag of food. Stalking towards the table of teens, she cleared her shaking voice. One of the jocks caught sight of her approaching and laughed.

"Well speaking of the lady-dick devil-"

"Nine inches."

The table went silent with shock and confusion. Christina's eyes went wide and she blinked up at her. Lauren looked around at all of them with hard eyes, before turning to her.

"You wanted to know how small my dick was, Chris. It's nine inches, soft."

"Lauren-"

"I told you I understood. There was no need to lie." Lauren reached up and tugged on the necklace that Christina had given her their freshman year, the chain broke and she smashed it down onto the table.

"I assume you want this back since we're not friends." Lauren blinked at the shocked group of teens.

"Enjoy the rest of your dinner."

Turning on her heel Lauren practically sprinted out of the restaurant, the door swinging open as she tried to see through her blurred vision. Almost running into her car door she pulled it open and tossed the food down, before looking up to see a frantic Christina running towards her.

"Lauren! Wait...I'm sorry-"

Lauren began to shake her head, tears falling rapidly. She turned around to face Christina. "I trusted you, I thought you were different...but you're just like them."

"No, Lauren let me explain-"

Lauren began to tremble and Christina came closer. "Don't!" Lauren screamed, her tears flowing freely and her body aching in pain as Christina stared helplessly at her.

"Just stay away from me!"

Lauren got in the car and slammed the door on Christina, watching as she continued to plead with her.

She drove away.