True Love Ways

10 Realisation

Hermione was released from the Infirmary a few days later. Her wounds were healing but they certainly looked worse before they looked better. Whilst incapacitated, Severus had been her constant companion, leaving only to sleep and then return again first thing in the morning. By the time Hermione came home, he had moved most of her belongings into his own accommodation, so he was better placed to look after her. He'd redecorated his chamber in pastels - just as she liked it (he hated it) and tried to make the whole room more 'feminine'. On arriving at the threshold, he held the door for her and motioned to her to come in enthusiastically. Hermione looked on in awe. Some of her favourite pieces of artwork hung on the walls and vases of heavily scented flowers were dotted here and there. His usual dark green counterpane had been replaced by a soft silk and cotton quilt, in the most exquisite of pastel hues. A picture of her parents was framed and sat on her bedside table; her slippers were placed neatly next to the bed and a new dressing gown was hung up on the door. His attention to detail could've made her weep. She took his hand and squeezed it lovingly. "I can't believe you did this for me. Thank you" she enthused "It's a lovely surprise." She reached up and brushed her lips to his cheek. He smiled back at her.

"Well I want to be able to keep my eye on you...both" he answered, gently holding her. Still feeling incredibly emotional, Hermione started to cry into his chest. Severus wasn't aware of what he'd actually done - or indeed hadn't done - to cause these tears. So he thought the best course of action was to say nothing and just hold her. Eventually her sobs subsided and she took his proffered handkerchief and blew loudly. Severus raised his eyebrows in a surprised fashion. "Better?"

"Y...Yes thank you" she replied, hiccuping "I think it must be the pregnancy hormones. I've been feeling up and down for days."

"Oh Lord" muttered Severus, again raising his eyebrows skyward, "you mean I've months of this to come?" He tutted and then winked at her. Hermione playfully slapped him. "Anyway Miss Granger" he said changing the subject "get yourself into bed as you still need to rest."

"Join me?" She asked, patting the large bed and winking seductively. His pulse quickened at the thought. He could think of nothing he'd rather do more than lay her down on the newly made bed and make love to her. "I'd hate to be bored..."

"Miss Granger" he growled "They'll be none of THAT sort of thing while you're convalescing! Whatever would Poppy say?" He bent and kissed her head as she climbed into his luxurious bed "Now" he continued "Minerva has been asking questions over your state of health and I think she should know about the baby." Hermione nodded.

"Ok" she replied, her throat suddenly dry. She knew she'd have to tell people of her 'condition' eventually but she quite liked having a secret with Severus (and Poppy ). "Go on then."

Severus knocked on Minerva's office door and waited for it to be 'Alohamora'd'.

"Severus!" She exclaimed, getting up from her desk and greeting him fondly. "How lovely to see you. Tell me, how is Hermione? Poppy said she has left the infirmary today?"

Severus nodded. "She is...quite...well" he answered trying to find the right words "Her wounds and bruises are healing - Poppy did an excellent job, but...". He took a deep breath.

"But?"

"But I need to tell you that she is... with child".

Minerva gasped with a sharp intake of breath. "And the baby....it's yours?" Severus looked as though he could hex her into next week. She raised her arm at him "I'm sorry" she said, patting him on the shoulder "but I had to ask. And you're pleased? And Hermione, she's pleased too?" She had so many questions for him. A baby! A baby at Hogwarts! How wonderful she thought.

Severus replied with the look of a petulant school boy. "Of course we're bloody pleased!" He sighed. "It was a....shock, but we are both delighted."

"Oh Severus, that's so lovely! I never thought I'd see the day..." As soon as Minerva had said the words she instantly regretted it.

"Why?" He turned on her, with the look of hurt flashing in his eyes "why? Because I'm unloveable? Because I'm so fucked up nobody would ever want me? Is that what you mean Minerva? Is it? Am I that abhorrent that the only way a beautiful young lady would be with me would be through pity?" He sat down abruptly and put his head in his hands.

Minerva bent down to him and hugged him to her. Her words had come out wrong and hated causing him pain. "I'm sorry" she said holding him "I just meant I never saw you as a father. You always made it clear that you weren't a lover of children. That's all I meant. Seeing you and Hermione together these last few months I know how deeply she loves you and you, her. I think you'll both be wonderful parents. This really is good news."

"Is it?" He replied, flatly. "I couldn't protect Hermione from her ex husband. I couldn't stop Lily's death, or Dumbledore's or Fred, Lupin, Tonks or any of the others, what makes you believe I can protect my own child? What if I turn out like my own poor excuse for a father?"

Minerva held him by the shoulders at arms length and looked at him straight in the eye. "Look at me Severus" she demanded "You have to stop blaming yourself. Their death was not your fault"

"But I should have prevented it!"

"Your actions were brave and heroic. Your selflessness enabled Potter to eradicate the wretched soul that took so many lives and it nearly cost you yours! Voldemort was the one who did this. He is solely to blame. Not the ones who survived. Not YOU Severus." Severus, now composed once again removed himself from Minerva's grip as she continued "They were sacrificed so people like us can go on and live our lives free from the worst kind of tyranny. And you will show your child that their deaths weren't in vain. What better legacy could you ever leave your child?"

Severus walked back to his chambers feeling lighter than he had for many years. Minerva's words had struck home to him. He could be a good father and he WOULD be a good father. Yes - he'd be the complete antithesis to his own father. He wouldn't just be a father, he'd be a dad. He smiled as he looked in on Hermione's sleeping figure. She looked so vulnerable. He moved a piece of her hair from across her eyes. God, he loved her with every breath in his body. He got undressed and climbed into bed beside her, his arm curling over her sleeping form. She let out a small moan and pushed herself back into him causing him an almost instant arousal. He growled to himself, his self control being tested. Sleepily Hermione turned in his embrace and faced him. Her eyes flickered open to meet his gaze.

"I want you" she whispered, breathlessly, holding him to her and kissing him gently. He returned her kiss and deepened it.

"Merlin! Woman." He responded gruffly "We can't... You need to rest. The baby..."

"The baby is fine. I'm nearly healed. My hormones are telling me I want you and I want you now....". With a groan he gave in to her wanton desire. Pushing her onto her back, he held her arms above her head and gently moved his body over hers. She was powerless to escape his now demanding mouth. His movement into her made her gasp with pleasure and she raised her hips to accommodate his full length. Slowly and gently they found their rhythm. It wasn't long before both knew they were close to climax. Hermione came with a force that left her breathing ragged; within seconds he joined her in an eruption that completely blew his mind. They lay together in an embrace for some time, lost in their own thoughts. Both satiated, they fell into a deep sleep, not stirring until the early hours.