Aly-Oops!

Chapter 18: The 4th of July

"Can I come in, Alessa?"

Am I allowed to have a little alone time?!
I'm sorry if I seem like I have an attitude right now. To put it into context, I have been sitting in my room staring at the wall for the past two hours. I literally got up, went to the bathroom, made my hair somewhat acceptable (for my standards), went back in my room, and have done absolutely nothing.
No SAT Prep
No thinking about Asher (sort of)
No thinking about the school I will attend (high school or college)
Absolutely nothing...
Except watching a few cute make-up YouTube videos, and I'm not even that big into make-up🙈.

It's just one of those mornings where I don't feel like doing anything. For no reason at all.

Or maybe not for no reason.
Maybe it's getting to the point where I need to take a few days off for myself every time I get upset over something.

And that's not good....

"Alessa! I made you chocolate waffles!"
"Ok, come in!" I exclaim.
"I guess you want waffles more than me, I see how it is!"

That's a joke Ash would make....
No matter how upset I can be with the kid, I will always miss him and appreciate his humor if I go too long without it.

That's pathetic....

"Al, you didn't make any plans yet for the fourth right?"
The Fourth of July is in two days.
"Umm..nope..." I laugh.
"Good. We are visiting New York for the fourth."
"Why?"
"They're having this Fourth of July festival and we are going to meet the Westmans there. They have a house out there and we will stay with them afterward. I was going to surprise you, but I just couldn't keep a secret from you."
Oh gosh...
"Mom..." I start freaking out.
"Umm...but I kind of have been keeping a secret from you..."
"What's that, Alessa?" Mom asks.
"I...I cheated on Asher..." I say, as I start crying. There, I finally admitted it...
"What?" Mom asks, sounding concerned.
"I really didn't mean to! That time at the Philadelphia fair when I was with Mia, and Ash's friend Evan."
"Does this have to do with Asher not being there, Sweetie? You said he wasn't there?"
"Yeah, Asher wasn't there..I got upset that he didn't tell me he wasn't coming. Evan felt bad that I felt bad, and then he just did it. I didn't ask for it, I didn't initiate it..."
"Alessa, you do know that there is something called consent right? You didn't give Evan the right to kiss you so technically you did nothing wrong."
I look up at my mom.
I never even thought about that...
"I guess you're right..."
"But let me ask you something, Sweetie. Are you upset you kissed Evan because you're Aly and you never want to do anything wrong, or are you upset because you love Asher?"

I think about it for a second.
"Mom...I really miss Asher...I tried to call him, but it...it didn't exactly work out. It's stupid that this whole blow up happened because I couldn't stand that he devoted all of his time to basketball and allocated nothing to me. But I miss him too much..I just think it will be weird when I actually talk to him again. It's been weeks." I sigh.

"I think you need to talk to him about this."

I guess so. What's the worst thing? If it goes horribly, I can just run away I guess. It's not like I'll be trapped with him in the middle of the ocean or something😂

I nod.
"You're right...I love you, Mom. Thank you for not shipping me away when I was a toddler. I don't know what I would do without you."
"What?! Aly what even made you think of such a thing?!" Mom exclaims in horror.
"Sugary..." I mumble.
"What was that?"
"Nothing." I shake my head.
I don't feel like going into the whole Evan Sugary thing right now.
We just finished the long drive to New York state, and all I can think about is Asher. I know, I know, I always say that...