The Struggles Of Living The Wattpad Life

People Who Update 24/7 On Wattpad

I've noticed these chapters are getting more and more specific... how peculiar. 

Now, huns, before I rant about today's subject I must share with you the horror I felt this morning while scrolling through Pintrest at 6:00 AM. It truly gave me a frighten, maybe more than when Bucky was given a frighten by Black omg-hes-a-hotttt-prince Panther. 

And this horror was all contained in a single photograph;

The family in which Jar Jar Binks was born into as the runt of the pack- soon to be sold. 

Well, now that that's over, I can finally begin. No need to thank you for your experience here today, I can sense your happiness through the screen. 

Anyways, the real miracle is that I wrote a 4000 word chapter in two hours, so... I guess I accomplished something today. That and I'm almost out of therapy for my depression, which is really good. And I got a limeade from Sonic. Yum yum butteryum toot tot plop.

Let's talk about people who update much to often and loose readers due to having their notifications nuked. 

Well, for starters, these people  update much to often and loose readers due to having their notifications nuked, in case you didn't get my earlier point. 

See, when I read a good ol' Loki fanfic, I do want a break from another chapter- but who knows, maybe I'm the only one. If I read the chapters that are already published (say it's newer and there's only 2-3) and I'm like, 'well that was nice, I can't wait for a new chapter'.

And then, low and behold, five minutes later there's another update. And then there's me assuming that I had just found the fic on it's updating day. So I read the new chapter, smile, get some Loki eye candy real quick and move on to rolling around in bed fangirling over tamales and salsa.

BUT THEN- *le dramatic and unexpected gasp*- another update. I squint at my screen, pausing my Bucky stalking for a moment, and look at the time. Another update, all but three hours apart. 

And then, my nose that seems to wind up in everyone else's business starts t smell fish. Not good fish- fish that's gone rotten with suspicion. 

And the next three days, my notifications (minus the usual 60 I get) are filled with updates from this author who either just got high and got like, shamefully inspired or is really bored.

That, or the chapters are 50 words long. 

Example:

CHAPTER 5.

Thor stomped his feet. "WHERE IS THE TESSERACT YOU BUM???"

Loki giggled. "I'LL NEVER TELL;-)"

Suddenly, Magneto appeared out of nowhere. "Hey, I came to see my baby twins. I also found this metal guy prototype who started to act up. Started yelling about no strings? I squashed him. Anyone seen Wanda and Peitro?? BABBBBYYIIESSS?"

Tony Stark poked his head out of a pile of wood that wasn't Thor's. "Hey, wrong movie, looser. We don't know about them yet."

Magneto huffed. "FINE. I GUESS I'LL GO BACK THROUGH THE COPYRIGHT WALL, IN WHICH I SPENT FIVE DAYS TRYING YO BREAK THROUGH. MY GOSH. GOOOOODDDD DAYY."

OR

Chapter 1.

Lou smiled. "Hello, Dan."

Dan smiled. "Hello, Lou."

Lou gasped. "Is that a tree?"

Dan screamed. "WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO US??"

I mean, I'd personally have updated spread out over a week or two and how longer, more descriptive chapters ready for my eyes to process.

Example:

CHAPTER 20.

Bucky looked at Steve, tears pouring out of his eyes. "No." He sobbed, ignoring the brutal fight going on around them. "I just got you back. You- you can't leave." 

Steve, tears in his eyes as well, simply smiled as the wound that surfaced over his heart grew worse. "Yeah, well, now it's my turn to disappear for seventy years. At least I didn't do something as stupid as falling off a train."

Bucky couldn't find any positive energy that could deliver his chest to squeeze out any amount of joy. But she tried his best to laugh. He stared at Steve, sadness in his eyes. "I'm sorry you don't get to see... to see the world at peace again. It's all hell here right now. It's not a good place for you to-" He couldn't bring himself to finish.

Steve, now struggling to breathe, looked at Bucky seriously. "Be there for Sam and Natasha, okay? And Wanda... make sure no one hurts her. She's been through a lot." 

Bucky smiled for real now. "Of course, we couldn't have anyone hurting your children." Steve smiled, his hand flying to his wound. With every breath he took, he grew weaker. Finally, she shook his head and reached for Bucky's hand.

Bucky stared at him in horror. "Hey, Buck," Steve whispered, his voice tight. "I guess... I guess this is the end of the line."

Bucky cried, shamefully, and shook his hand firmly. "No. Not until I die, Rogers. This isn't the end of the line. I'll fight."

Steve smiled, slapped him weakly on the back. "Good. I'd hate for another line to end." And with that, Steve Rogers was gone.

And all Bucky had was himself, a dead friend, and some annoying bird as a sidekick. Somehow, even though it felt as if that line had ended, Bucky had to keep it going. "Not until I die." He whispered, picking up his friend's shield and slipping it onto his metal arm. "And not until they pay for what they've done."

Not to mention long updates are my favorite because I pause, go make tea or heat up some nuggets, put fluffy socks on and then read with a huge smile on my face. And then I skate around the dining room with my fluffy socks because it's logic.

Well, maybe i'm the only one who has a problemo with this, but I doubt that. 

At the end of the day, Lana Del Rey's new album came out and I'm super exited- not to mention I'm still discovering Halsey and fangirling over the new Ragnarok trailer because holY SHIT IT'S COOL + LOKI IS LOOKING DAMN GOOD.

Well, I must be excused, Winter calls for his food.

Until next time, he's a friend from work.

-Elise