what came before won't count anymore · deh

xx

"we need to talk about this." connor slams a brown bag down on the table.

"what - what is there to talk about, connor?"

"i..." he trails off, grasping at the air for words. he lowers his voice as he hisses, "i don't know, i kissed you, isn't that something we should discuss?"

"you what?!" jared shouts, and for a second connor had almost forgotten he - or anyone else - was there with them in the caf and evan suddenly looks like the ground could swallow him whole and he wouldn't mind a bit.

"it's none of your fucking business, kleinman," connor spits, and jared flinches. good.

"wh-what do you need to - what is there to discuss, connor? you didn't answer me. p-properly."

"like... like, what are we?" connor asks.

evan chuckles. connor ignores that jared has burst out laughing.

"we're - i don't know, connor! we're friends! i guess! i don't know! why does it matter?!" evan makes a show of flailing his arms to emphasize.

connor let out a hum. "it doesn't. i was just... wondering if you cared."

evan's breath hitches, and connor realizes too late what's come out of his mouth.

"no, i didn't - i didn't mean it like that, i just -"

evan is gone, clutching his chest as he stumbles out of the caf.

and jared just stares at connor.

"what, kleinman? what is it?"

"you're a dick, you know that? a real fucking dick."

jared stands up and walks out of the caf, probably to follow evan. or not. connor is beyond caring.

connor murphy tried to kill himself two weeks ago, and people stopped caring already. so he eats alone, as he always did before and always will do.

and then alana beck sits down with him.