Lost Memories

Demigod Dreams Do Not Show What We Want Most

"What did you see?" I asked. "Or hear?"

"It was strange," Reyna said, looking at her hands in her lap. "I didn't realize that the temptation would be so strong. I thought I would be able to fight it. I thought I could resist it. But as soon as I heard them singing . . . well, it wasn't like something had taken control of me. It was still me. And all I could think about was getting free and jumping into the water."

"That's kind of what Annabeth said," I remembered. "She said she didn't realize how effective their song would be."

"I didn't see anything in front of me," Reyna continued. "You told me how it was for Annabeth, it wasn't like that for me. Most likely because I wasn't able to get close to the Sirens. But I did see things."

"Like what?"

"Well, when I wasn't screaming at you to cut me loose," Reyna said, "every time I closed my eyes I saw it. I saw the world how I wanted it to be. Everything was perfect."

"What did it look like? I mean, I know it's kind of personal, but it might help to talk about it," I said.

Reyna sighed, not meeting my eyes. She seemed to contemplate her options for a few moments before lifting her head. She still didn't look at me.

"I saw Camp Jupiter. It looked exactly how I always wished it to be. Our borders were strong, none of our standards were missing, no one got hurt. Jason and I were strong leaders and Octavian focused on his job instead of taking ours. And . . ." Reyna slowly looked up at me. "I saw you."

My eyebrows scrunched together. "Me? Why was I there?"

Reyna looked me in the eyes. "You and I . . . were together."

I gulped. I turned away, not really sure what to say or think. I'd had my suspicions about Reyna's feelings for me, but it was one thing to suspect and another to hear it from her own mouth.

"I know you love Annabeth, I know you have for a long time, I know all of that. I tried to deny my feelings," Reyna said, but I stared at the wall in front of me and absently rubbed my broken arm.

"But I couldn't help but hope that during your time at Camp Jupiter you'd . . . I don't know, give up?" Reyna said, trying to get me to look at her. "You had to stay with us for two years, and it didn't look like anyone would get their memories back anytime soon. I just thought . . . maybe you'd let go of Annabeth."

I shifted on the cot and finally faced Reyna. She looked hopeful, but also guilty like she knew how awkward this conversation was for me.

"Reyna," I finally said, "you know how I feel about Annabeth. I do love her. She doesn't know it right now, but she loves me too. I'm not going to give up on her. Mnemosyne did this to her. I won't just sit back and let Annabeth live a life that isn't hers."

"I know that. That's why I've never told you about my feelings," Reyna said. "I just hoped that one day . . . I would get a chance."

I blew air out of my mouth, thinking. "Why did you come with me? If you feel this way, why did you come with me to rescue Annabeth?"

Reyna shrugged. "I don't want to see you in pain. And I would rather be your friend than nothing."

"Well, thank you for that, I guess. But I'm sorry. I don't feel the same way. I love Annabeth, and I'm never going to give up on her. Whenever she's in trouble, I will always come to save her." I stood up, starting to walk away. "I'm sorry Reyna. I really do hope you find someone. I'm sorry it wasn't Jason."

I couldn't handle another second in that awkward situation, so I left. I walked through the halls of the ship until I found an empty cabin to duck into. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, trying to gather my thoughts.