Electric Impulse

chapter 37 | a hard landing, waiting room V

It's just me, alone with my thoughts. Staring out the window, my mood is further dampened by the crappy weather. It's starting to rain and picks up quickly. Before long, the rain is relentless. It's surreal, a daytime thunderstorm. It leaves the sky a hazy yellow, like the sun is setting, only it's not, it's early afternoon. The birds have vacated the sky, everything looks as if it's drenched in a dreary, dreamlike sadness.

After half an hour on the highway, we pull up to my house. Leon gathers my bags and takes them to my front door.

"Thank you." I try slipping him a hefty tip, which he then refuses.

Really? Another rejection?

I unlock the door eager to see Alana and Axel, my two, black bubble-eyed goldfish. I wonder if they'll mate and have babies. It would be awesome to wake up one morning with a tank full of tiny little black bubble-eyed goldfish waddling around!

As soon as I open the door and see their fancy feng shui tank, my heart plummets to the pit of my belly.

I phone my neighbor and fish sitter, to see what's up. "Hey Jean?"

"Oh, Aria! How was your trip?" she asks in that weathered, shaky voice of hers.

"It was amazing, thanks for asking. Hey, did you have a chance to feed the fish while I was gone?"

"Of course, dear. I did as you asked, every day at noon. They're doing just fine."

"Are you sure? Cause, I'm here at the house and Axel doesn't look so great." I thump the side of the tank to get a response. Dread hangs in the air.

"What do you mean? I'll be right over."

A minute later, Jean lets herself in. Her purple-tinted silver head of hair is the first thing I see as she walks in. Her rosy pink cheeks and soft, time-worn smile offer my first real welcome home.

She glances at the tank, "Oh dear! You're right, that big fella there doesn't look so good!" Her quivering voice reminds me of my Nana.

"I've never had fish before. Is he . . . is he sleeping?" I ask, looking for reassurance.

"Oh no, dear. They don't float like that when they're asleep. I'm sorry but he's a goner. I only fed them a pinch of food each day, so it can't be from overeating. The only thing I can think of is the water, either the temperature's not right or not enough bacteria for them to thrive. How long have you had them?"

"Just a few weeks. They were a gift." Guilt sits heavily in my chest. "Alana is all alone now."

Alana swims around Axel's dead body. She bumps him with her head. He stiffly drifts away, belly up, with his tail and fins wafting softly in the ripples. She waddles in his direction, bumps him again. His lifeless body floats on, getting tangled in their little underwater garden of plants.

"This is horrible. Look at her. She's trying to wake him up."

Jean rubs my back trying to console me. "Oh, dear. It happens sometimes. Sometimes it's just not meant to be." Jean checks to make sure Axel is dead. She takes the net, scoops him up and flushes him down the toilet. "I'll be next door if you need me," she tells me before letting herself out.

I sit there staring blankly at the tank, my luggage still at the front door.

I lightly tap the tank. Alana swims towards the sound. "It's just you and me, kiddo. Phoenix won't believe this."

His phone goes to voicemail. He never lets that happen. I watched the whole trip as he excused himself again and again over phone calls. It didn't matter the hour or where we were. I wait a few minutes and try again. Voice mail. Again. This time I'm leaving a message.

"Hey you! You won't believe what happened when I got home. It's not good. Hit me back."

I take my luggage to my room and unpack.

Today is turning out to be a real drain.

I make my way to the kitchen and pour a glass of orange juice. "Welcome home." I lift my glass to myself.

Afterwards, I run the shower. "This will do you good." The words echo off the bathroom walls reminding me of how alone I am.

Hours have passed since I came home. I've showered, eaten and gotten ready for bed. Still no word from Phoenix. Business meetings aren't held at night. It's 12 a.m. He better call me . . . tonight. Yawning loudly, I admit today has been a very long day. My eyes are getting heavy and waiting is boring. I close my eyes, just for a little while. I'll hear the phone if it rings . . . .

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Present Day

Pity. It's the only word I can use to describe how I feel witnessing Aya, standing at the door. She's huddled over, cradling her belly. She hobbles out of the doctor's office into the waiting room, a different person now. She was sad when she went with the nurse, but now she's broken. Looking at her brings tears to my eyes. I'm so thrown, I cover my mouth trying to keep it in.

"Aya, oh my God, sweetheart. Are you OK?"

She gazes off in the distance as she walks and halts in front of the chair beside me. Her body is here, but her mind is somewhere else. "No." She pauses for a long, long time. "I'll never . . . ." Her eyes flood and the first tears break free. "I'll never be OK and I shouldn't be. I don't deserve it. I did it for him. I'll never forgive myself." Tears flow down her cheeks as she tries to catch her breath. Her beautiful blue eyes, once vibrant and bright, are bloodshot and filled with pain. She sits down next to me. "Aria. Listen to me. I made a mistake. God, I realize it now. I was so, so stupid. This — it was a mistake." She closes her eyes, trying to stop the tears. "I wish I had listened. I let him get in my head." Her fist knocks against her head repeatedly.

"Shh. Don't do that." I pull her hand away from her head.

"Pressured me. I regretted it the moment it was over but it's too late now. It's too late." She sobs the next few words. "Know yourself. Never, ever lie to yourself." She cries like a baby for what seems like forever as she waits for her Lyft.

I rub her back, trying to comfort her the best way I can, but I know it's not enough. I hope to never walk in her shoes.

God, please help her.

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A/N: Hey Guys and Gals! It looks like things have taken a turn for Aria both in the past and the present. How does Aya's choices effect Aria? Please Vote, Follow and Comment! Muah!