Divergent: No War

Chapter 40

"Haven't we been over this? There isn't anything to talk about." He states.

I take a better look at him. His eyes are red, and a little puffy, has he been crying? His hair is ruffled, and unbrushed, and he stares at me like he won't ever see me again.

"Yes, there is." I take a deep breath. "I miss you. I miss being with you. I don't know what happened, or why things aren't the way they used to be, but I do know that I can't go on much longer, not like this."

I bite my lip, to keep tears from spilling over. I look at my shoes, feeling mixed emotions of what I just said. I look up into his eyes, glowing blue in the slight darkness. They are full of nothing, his face expressionless. I was so used to his eyes being the answer, I don't know what to do.

I shake my head slightly, clearing my thoughts, as I turn to leave. Before I take my first step, his hand grabs my wrist, just above the tattoo. He turns me back around to face him, as he slides his fingers over the ink.

I feel him looking down at me, but I don't look up, I can't bear it. Just because he is here right now, and we aren't arguing, it doesn't mean we are okay. Not yet.

He hooks his finger under my chin, bringing my gaze to his. So much for not looking.

I get lost in his blue eyes, staring into them more than I did when I first saw them.

He finally speaks, "I miss you, too."

He leans down to kiss me, cupping my face in his hands. I eagerly kiss back, hoping everything will go back to the way it was.

He breaks away, his eyes glassy with tears. He holds my shoulders, staring at me. I stare back, for a while, before he wraps his arms under my shoulders and lifts me up, carrying me into his room.

As grateful as I felt to have everything seem normal again, I still had that ache in my chest.

"Tobias." I whispered, as he set me on his lap, on the bed.

"Yeah?" He asks, brushing hair off of my face.

"Does this mean we're okay?" I ask.

He laughs, then kisses my cheek. "Yes. It does."

I sigh, relieved. "Good, because I haven't slept well the last few nights."

"Too much to think about?" He suggests.

"No, I wasn't with you." I say, leaning into his chest.

He smiles, but it quickly fades, as if he is remembering something.

"You haven't talked with Zeke in the past few days, have you?" He scratches behind his ear.

"No, but I have talked with Christina, who talked to Shauna, who said you were a total mess that night." I say, in a slight teasing way.

He smacks his hand to his head. "God, I'm going to kill them!"

I laugh, and press my lips to his. He relaxes, with his lips on mine. He breaks away, too fast for my liking.

"I love you." He says. "I want you to know that. You're perfect; perfectly flawed. You're brave, but you're still selfless, you're not pretty, but you're beautiful, and I want you to know that."

My eyes water a bit, from his words.

"I love you, too." I tell him. "But you're not perfect either. You may be strong and guarded, but you have a sensitive, soft side, and you get jealous, and protective, but it's because you love me."

"I do." He smiles.

I kiss him, happy that things seem perfect again, that I am with the love of my life, that I will have him until the day we both are too old to continue, and that he loves me, just as much as I do, maybe even a little more.