The Barbarian

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Gina climbs in through the window and says, "Oh, guys, they have him! I'm so happy!"

"Oh, why couldn't they have just left him out there in the woods?" Judy whines. "Ugh, I need a drink," so, she trudges over and pours herself a glass of untouched-by-Keith Richards liquor.

Stu and Ambrose come in, Mick hog-tied over their shoulders. "We have returned the lost one!" they shout in unison as they drop Mick to the floor.

Gina begins to untie Mick, and says, "Oh, darling... we went through so much to get you back. You have to promise us something, though."

"What is it, love?" Mick asks.

Gina smirks and replies, "You can't let yourself get caught out in the forest again."

Judy crosses her fingers on one hand, and with the other lifts her mighty lamp to the heavens, "Oh, please, do let Mick get caught again!"

Before the issue of Mick getting caught again can go any further, Eno, Fripp, and Plant all parade into Bob's cabin. "Well, ladies and gentlemen," Fripp announces, "It's the moment you've all been waiting for- our fabulous arrival to take the one they call Emerson."

Brian Eno shivers and says, "Ooo, Robert. I love when you talk us up like that-it's just so se- um, never mind... Yeah, hand over Keith."

Keith Richards stumbles over in a drunken fashion and shouts, "I'm here, master! Take me-,"

"Not you, idiot!" Robert Fripp sasses, "Emerson!" Brian looks proudly at Robert Fripp, if I didn't know any better I'd say he was in love with Robert.

I feel myself getting very scared, so I turn toward Chris, and he puts his arms around me as if it were perfectly natural to him, and strokes my hair to calm me down. "It's okay, Jon. It's okay-," he coos. I shake in his grasp, attempting to calm down.

"Well, bring him out already!" Brian shouts.

"He's upstairs," Judy replies, which results in multiple people looking at her strange. "What? It wasn't like he wasn't going to start looking for him anyways."

Stephanie sasses, "Yeah, but you didn't need to help him any!" She begins a nervous conga line with Jeff Lynne and Bev Bevan, and the three of them begin nervously congaing through the cabin.

Finally, Keith comes walking down the stairs, "Well, Brian. You want me, here I am. I'm willing to go with you, but again, on one condition."

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