Camp Anderson

Hoedown

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Everyone files right into his or her boat, and I sit down right next to Sara. "So," I ask smoothly, "Why aren't you going with your boyfriend?"

Sara whips out a cupcake and says, "Well," and she takes a bite, "He couldn't handle the fact my cupcakes were overshadowing him. So, we broke up. We're still friends and all, but we just aren't together."

"Well, that's good," and then I try to pull back a bit, "But I mean, it's like, sad you broke up and all..."

Ian laughs, "Oy! Just admit it! You've been in love with Sara ever since we got here!"

"Ugh," and I ruffle my hair a bit, "Hey, Stu, are you going to man the boat?"

"Yes!" and he puffs out his chest to make himself feel proud, "Me and my best mates Grace and David have got this!" The three of them writhe over to the controls, and immediately the boat gets going.

Over in the boat that comprises of some of Camp Folky Assholes and also Emerson, Lake, and Palmer, wait, it makes sense! The ELP boys are Camp Pretentious Assholes! It all makes sense now... Anyways, it seems that some sort of argument is taking place:

"Greg!" Keith squeals, "I DID NOT CALL YOU FAT! I just said it would be better if me and Carl manned the boat!"

"You might as well have, though," Greg sasses. "You know I'm sensitive."

Elisa snaps her fingers, "Children, children! Why don't you let the adults handle this, okay?" She motions to Steve, "Go drive the boat, Steve."

"Wait, why do I have to drive the boat?" Steve whines.

Judy sasses, "Because Elisa told you to." She laughs with her boyfriend, Bob, "Damn! I can't believe I'm not the one causing the drama."

Finally, Carl says, "How about I just drive the boat?"

"Well," Keith snaps, "By that logic I should do it then."

Finally, the boat gets going, and Judy says, "Wow, I really should have just done this sooner." Lily and Elisa snicker, and all of the other guys just sit down.

Over in the boat with the guys from Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin and their girlfriends, Roger shouts as he starts for the boat, "Okay, ladies! If it isn't already clear to you, I'll be in charge. So, just go sit on your sweet princess butts, yes I'm looking at you Jimmy, and I'll Man the boat like a man! However, Jane, you are coming with-," and just like that, he trips and falls face first into the boat, "I'm okay!" He shouts again. Then, just like nothing happened, he goes over to the area where the boat is to be run.