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Review:
Plot: 2/5
The good news is that the excerpt sparks a little curiosity. Bad news: it needs a lot of improvement. Who are the characters? What is the main event that will attract readers? Always have these questions in mind when creating a plot.
Grammar: 1/5
The part I hate the most. I recommend that for a moment forget about continuing the story and just spend time fixing the thousand typos and spacing paragraphs. You don't know how many times I got lost because of those factors.
Characters: 4/5
The characters are my favorite part of the story. They're very cool, natural and the chemistry between the group is strong. The only thing is that the main character doesn't give the whole tomboy vibe throughout the story (as the title suggests) and the main love interest is at times confusing with his own feelings, but their great personalities make up for it.
Development: 3/5
The pace of the story is nice since the whole thing flows without rush and overwhelm. The flaws are a couple of contradictory things that happens on dialogues and, like I said previously, the tomboy personality of the protagonist fades eventually (she just dresses and acts like a girl without style labels).
Final thoughts:
If you want cliche stuff and light reading then go ahead and give some reads to this story. If unedited books really pisses you off, start hitting the brakes and wait for edits or explore other stories.
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