The Swordsman's Choice

Chapter 4: I've Truly Missed You

Arthur's pov

I couldn't sleep at all. I can't believe what I saw. Merlin has joined Morgana. He's left my side. He's become evil and corrupted. Merlin is a monster and it's not because of magic. It's my fault. I rejected him and tried to kill him. I betrayed him. Now Camelot shall pay the price.

How could I've been so foolish? Merlin was the best friend I've ever had and I know he'd never betray me. Why was I so blind? He's probably lived his whole life in fear of being found out. Plus, it wasn't like he was trying to take over the kingdom before. He saved my life. He blew that beast up for me.

I've lost him.

All the sudden, I feel pain rage throughout my body. It hurts so much. I fall to my knees. What happening?

"ARTHUR!! This is your last chance. Get in here and serve us breakfast." Merlin says and the pain stops. This is when I figured out that they must've called me more.

I get up aching from pain and and walk in. I slept in my clothes last night so I don't need to get dressed. I see that Morgana and Merlin are still in bed waiting for their breakfast so I go get it from the kitchens.

I come back and they're dressed and sitting at the table. I place the food in front of them and watch while they eat which they do in silence. This silence is killing but I don't want the pain to come back.

I see Merlin's pitcher go empty and move to refill it but end up spilling it all over the place. I know what comes next. The pain doesn't last as long this time but it still hurt. I get up from falling to the floor in pain again and say, "Sorry, sire." I clean the mess up and stack the plates to take to the kitchens.

Morgana stands up and says to Merlin, "I have some business to tend to with Geoffrey before our coronation tonight. I'll be back in a few hours." She kisses Merlin on the cheek and leaves.

I look at Merlin. He has no emotion on his face that face that use to be smiling and happy and hiding so much pain.

He sees me staring and throws on a sloppy grin. He walks over and says, "Sorry." Sorry? I don't know what to think about that. What's he sorry for. Lying? Siding with Morgana? Making me a servant? Causing me pain? He clearly sees my confusion and adds, "For everything, especially how this turned out. It was your destiny to sit on the throne. It was also your destiny to bring back magic to Camelot. But that all changed when you plunged your sword into my heart. I've waited for you for so long and finally thought I could tell you the truth. I thought that 'hey. He's not his father. I'll be fine.' But then you ran me through with a mortal blade (which by the way won't kill me) and tried to kill me. That's when you broke destiny. Our destinies were intertwined since the beginning of time. I was supposed to be always by your side." He's crying now. This must have meant a lot to him and I ruined it.

How could I apologize for something like that? All I know is it isn't his fault. I look up at him to speak and he nods. I say, "I don't know a lot of the stuff you just said was about but I know one thing and that is that this wasn't your fault. It was mine and I'm sorry. It's bad too because every time I have a memory of you with that stupid smile, I remember the smile you gave me to reassure me when I was running you through. I'm sorry, so sorry. I regretted it immediately after I did it. I tried to bring you back. I tried to stop the blood. I tried to keep you here. I sent a patrol back to get your body for a proper funeral but there was nothing to be found so I figured the druids had buried you somewhere. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I've cried so much wanting you back but I know I can never have you back. At least not in the way I use to. Have you gone through any of the papers on my desk by any chance?"

I ask this because I was in the middle of signing a new law that legalized magic again. The good type like Merlin's. Plus, the speech I wrote for Merlin's funeral was there with tear marks all over. Merlin finally says, "No. Why? Is there something I need on it?"

"I'll let you see for yourself when you go through my desk. And Merlin?"

"Yeah?"

"I've truly missed you."