The Swordsman's Choice

Prologue

I didn't try to stop him. I knew I never would. I just stayed there kneeled before him waiting. Waiting for him to make his choice. Shall I die or shall I live. I knew either way we'd never be the same again. I lied to him for so long. I kept stuff from him. I hurt people. Maybe it was all for him but it was still done by my hand. He didn't force me to do it. I did it at my own will. So I sit here watching him pace around trying to figure out was he wants. He does this but I can tell (I always could) he's made up his mind. I think he just doesn't want to be the one to do it but he knows he has to if it's to be done. He knows I won't go back with him if this is my fate.

He turns to face me with tears streaming down his face. I've never seen him cry like this before. He looks at me like this is the last time he'll ever see me. He goes to say something but closes his mouth as fast as he opens it.

He walks over ever so slowly. I know what he's doing. He's trying to give me a chance to run but I'm not going to. He faces this here and now.

He stops in front of me trying to get his emotions in order. He dries his eyes but it's useless. I can tell he's about to start crying again and he does. I think 'what happened to "no man is worth your tears"'. Oh. Clearly in his eyes now I'm not a man. I'm a monster.

I watch as he unsheathes his sword ever so slowly. He's still trying to get me to run but all I do is stay there hoping. Hoping he'll change his mind.

He raises his sword and I keep my head held high. I've never been afraid of him and I'm not starting now.

He finally speaks, "For your crime of sorcery against the kingdom of Camelot, I hereby.." voice crack but he continues, "sentence you to death." I can feel a tear wanting to run down my face but I won't let it. I will stay strong. That's what he needs. I'm still doing what's best for him even though he just sentenced me to death. Isn't that funny?

He brings his sword back slowly and I give him a reassuring nod. I've never really feared the thought of death.

He chokes a little bit as he brings the sword to my chest positioned right at my heart. I smile at him wanting the last thing he sees of me to be happy. I want him to remember the good times we shared. I want him to remember all the support I gave him. I don't want him to remember this.

He looks at me pleadingly. He still wants me to run and I'm still not going to. I would never run from him. I've always supported his choices and am not going to stop now.

He slowly pushes the sword into me. I can feel the blood start to run down me. It's so warm and wet. It's almost soothing.

I can hear him internally screaming at himself. He didn't want to do this. He wanted me to run. He wanted me to be different. To not have magic but this is me.

He finally has the sword push in all the way and pulls out fastly realizing what he has just done. He's just killed me.

I hear him scream and feel him pick me up into his lap. I didn't think he'd care.

I feel his cold wet tears fall onto my face.

I feel his arms wrap around my body.

The last thing I hear is, "Don't worry. You'll be okay. Merlin? Are you listening? Wake up, you idiot. Why aren't you answering? Stop playing."

My last thought is this was your choice. It was the swordsman's choice and you are the swordsman.

Then I'm gone. I don't feel anything. I don't see anything. I don't hear anything. I can't sense anything.

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