Coming Home //LS// Back 10/13/17

Chapter Eight

Who knows if fate is real honestly. I mean, hell, I thought Harry and I were meant to be and look how that panned out. Do you know the worst part of seeing someone you would do anything for move on? It's when you see how not broken they are about it. Here I am, getting absolutely smashed to push away the hurt, and there he is, dancing like earlier today he was not throwing shoes at me.

Nice to see all it takes to make him get over me is Zayn and maybe a few drinks. Very nice. Now, you have to understand how I'm feeling for the next part of this. I'm suffering. I'm hurt. I had come home expecting for him to be mad, yes, but still wanting me. Hope was still in me. Maybe not after seeing him and after his sister talked to me, but after earlier today? See I had thought his outburst meant he's still into me and he was just upset, so I had hope once again. I've come to hate hope. Hope destroys people, you see. So, to reiterate, I'm hopeful, hurt, and so deeply in love with Harry.

Next part you have to understand is that I've had four shots of tequila and three other fruity drinks.

I get a little dizzy when I look up, but then I see Harry and it's like everything is blurry except for him. He's so pretty. Beautiful really. Love him. I stare at him for a bit more lost in my thoughts about how amazing he looks before I hop off the bar stool. Niall's head shoots up from where it had been buried in his arm and he stutters out, "Lou, where are you going?"

"Azzy. Wanna see 'im." I keep staggering toward his dancing form before Niall tugs me back. I let out an upset grunt before pulling back to get my arm. Dizzy again.

"Lou, you can't go over to him. Do you really want to ruin his night?" He asks. And no. I don't. I don't want to ruin Harry anymore than I already have, or did considering he looks much better now. When I look back, though, I see Zayn is the one dancing with him and everything goes a little read around the edges. I roughly tug my arm back and march over zig zagging through a big crowd of people in hopes Niall won't find me.

As soon as he sees me his smile drops a little, but Zayn is there to squeeze his arm and smile reassuringly at him, so there's that.

Honestly I'm about to scream about the fact that he can't be okay while I'm dying inside (ha I mean it's not applicable now but they were together while I was in the hospital so) when Harry says something instead, "I'm sorry about today, Louis. It was a bit uncalled for." I blink a few times and my mouth is open, but eventually I manage to nod. He smiles a bit more, though it doesn't reach his eyes, "You guys look cute together and I'm sure he's a great guy, you have good taste I'm sure." He chuckles a bit at the end and I feel my lips quirk up before falling again because, okay wow he's talking about Niall. And he's fine with it?

Just wait, it gets better. You see it was at that time Niall decided to show up, which is perfect timing if you ask me. This is the part where you kind of need to understand what's going through my mind because I know it doesn't seem logical: I sling my arm around Niall's shoulder and say, and I quote, "Yeah, guess I do. You too, you seem happy together." I'm such a fucking idiot. Niall, God bless him, just smiles because I'm sure he thinks I'm being civil. Maybe my arm is on him because I need support.

That's not a wrong assumption when I see Harry's smile falter a bit, his eyes look a bit glassy too, but Harry wanted to go into theatre. Through that look on his face, completely fake, he gets out a very convincible reply, "Yeah. Zayn and I have been together for a while."

I'm not actually sure if Harry is happy with Zayn saying this because his mask is like a second skin at this point, but Zayn butts in with, "Married even! Looking to adopt soon." I swear it's like he's smirking, like he's smug. Maybe he is, he's won hasn't he? I certainly feel like I've lost.

I can never thank God enough for Niall because, "That's cool, but we have to head out. Lou and I were going to have a Spider-Man movie marathon." It's good that he knows my favorite movies because it makes my lie seem more real, but it's bad because I remember Spider-Man movie marathons with Harry and I'm sure Harry can too because he lets his smile go almost all the way off his face. His jaw clenches too.

"Yeah he loves those, some things don't change," he spits out. I feel it cut me a little deep because perhaps he's trying to say 'Hey you did the exact same shit with me now you're with this asshole.' "Well, Lou," well damn, "guess we'll probably see you around at some point. Hope married life treats you well." And that, that was definitely filled with venom. They walk away hand in hand after that and Niall looks to me with furrowed eyebrows.

"Married life?" I shake my head and tug him out of the bar and to my house. The walk there is full of me stumbling and Niall mumbling complaints. I'm still not really sober or else I would notice people looking at us like we're some zoo animals. Maybe we are in this hateful town. I would have also heard the trees. Their whispering mocks me as I trudge down the streets. These streets I used to call my own now a stage for my acts of stupidity. These are the same streets that saw me make the biggest mistake of my life, though I'm not actually sure it was a mistake, now seeing me make stupid, cowardly, drunken decisions.

When we sit on my bed and he raises his eyebrows I heave out a sigh. "Niall James Horan, will you marry me?" I try to joke, but his face looks like he might not get it.

"What the fuck do ya mean, mate?"

"Well, I mean not really, but I might need you to pretend?" I sound unsure, but I am. So very unsure about everything.

"What the hell do you mean? What the fuck happened while I was gone?" He looks very confused and shocked, but he isn't turning it down.

"It's just," I pause trying to find the words that won't make me sound crazy, "Harry thought we were married. He looked so happy and moved on with Zayn, I couldn't tell him he's wrong, Niall. How pathetic would I look to him, who is moved on and happy, if he finds out I was lying about that and you're actually my therapist? Niall, you have to help me!" I hide my face in my hands and let tears slip down my cheeks as I feel Niall soothingly rub my back.

"Lou, we can do this, if you need to. I'll help you with this, as a friend, but as your therapist I need to advise you that this isn't healthy for you."

"I know I know!" I sob, "I just need to make him think I'm okay then maybe we could divorce and he can think I'm not okay for a reason other than him." At this point I'm not sure if my drunken babbling is making sense, but Niall seems to get it. He nods and rubs my back and we spend the night talking about how if we're going to pull this off we are going to need to fool my family too. It's this night I decide fate is probably a little bit real if it was good enough to bring me Niall.