Coming Home //LS// Back 10/13/17

Chapter One

I step off the bus, the trees whispering all around me like they're excited for my return. I too am excited for my return, but mostly nauseous. I walk down the oh so familiar road that goes through Holmes Chapel. I keep telling myself I'll be okay, but with every step I doubt it a little bit more. The thing is, six years is quite a bit of time, yeah? And spending all that time in London, away from everything I ever knew, that's different. It's hard being here again, it's almost scary, but when I think of why I came back, what I'm coming back to, it fuels another ten steps. So I keep thinking about it.

    As I pass buildings, I compare them to my memory, see how they've changed or wonder what's changed on the inside. I see people start walking past me as I get closer to the center of town, a small cluster of communal buildings four of which sell food (two of those with a bar) and a couple other buildings for shopping thrown next to the town hall. In between all of that a church, its bell ringing to signify noon.

    I stop on the sidewalk as people leave 11:00 mass. People spill out, people I know, and I know soon a familiar face I haven't seen in six years will come out, but I'm not sure what emotion that face will wear. When I see her I stop breathing, my lungs just halt in fear of what is to come. She won't look over to me, I know if she does scan the streets she probably won't notice a 27 year old man standing on a street corner. Except, she does. She looks around, but her head stops turning when her eyes meet my body. I pull my suitcase, the only thing I took with me when I left, a little bit closer to me and almost try to hide myself in my hoodie. We stand there for what seems like five minutes in the nippy fall wind, in reality it's only about 30 seconds.        
    With my throat tight and my eyes watering a bit my mouth forms around a word I haven't said in years, "Mum." My eyes burn as she starts to walk toward me, getting faster the farther she gets, until I'm being hugged so tight I can't breathe.

    "Louis," she breathes. I feel her shake in my arms and her tears soak my shirt, but God, none of that matters right now. All too soon it ends and I feel a hard slap to my arm before yelling. "Where were you? How could you do this? It's been six years, Louis!" She screams while wiping her eyes, her voice cracks, in that moment it's everything I have not to break down. I'm not holding back my tears anymore, but I'll be damned if I break down and say everything in the middle of town. Already the small crowd, the usual 12 people that go to 11:00 mass, is looking at me.

    "Please can we not discuss this here?" I know that it's just about time for everyone to start walking around town, soon there'll be more people. When I really look I notice that a woman, all too familiar, is walking to stand next to my mum. I look down at my feet as she comes to a stop.

    "Anne," I hear my mum say, voice still strained, "I- I um- well I'll obviously have to skip out on the lunch out. You'll be sure to tell everyone I'm sorry?" I can tell she doesn't really know what to say, but who would in this situation?

    "Of course Jay," but then in a quieter voice, "but what do I say to-?" She leaves the question open. We all know what name goes there.

    "Don't say anything, please?" I speak up finally. I'm not sure if it's welcome, but I know where this is going, and I need to be the one telling everyone I'm back. Anne, though turns her eyes to me and glares.

    "Do you really think you get a say in that?" she spits at me. The wind has gotten sharper, colder, it bites my face as I look down. No, I think, I don't. Mum puts her hand on Anne's shoulder and they exchange looks. I here the trees whispering still, but louder, and now I feel like they aren't so welcoming. Anne sighs before speaking again, "I won't, but you understand he's bound to hear right? Not that it matters because I'd rather you not talk to him at all anyway."

    "Anne," tears are definitely streaming down my face now, "I won't- I can't stay away from him. You know I can't do that. I'll tell him and I- I'm here to stay. I will, I-" I cut myself off from finishing that sentence. I hope, I was about to say. I can't let them doubt me though. I'm here as long as I can be, which I hope is forever. The look Jay gives me is angry, but has happiness and sympathy in it too. Anne has the same look but without happiness and I'm left to wonder: what happened while I was gone?

    "Louis, I'd really just rather you stay away. You two should be going soon, lunch is at 1:00." She turns on her heal wand walks toward her house, a path that fills me with memories and they hurt. I look back to my mum only to see she's walking back to her house as well, luckily we live closer to the center of town than Anne. I walk behind her, my tears still falling as I pull my suitcase and wrap my other arm around my middle. I feel like I'm hiding in my sweatshirt, and maybe I am.

A/N: updates will be more frequent until chapter 5 so I can enter this is the wattys this year. Once I hit chap 5 it'll be updated every Friday!! :)