Coming Home //LS// Back 10/13/17

Chapter Seven

"Harry, please."

"No," Harry said loud through his crying.

"I told you I'm sorry!"

"I needed you to tell me that at least five years ago!"

"Man." Someone shook my shoulder. I woke up, startled, and rubbed my eyes.
"You fell asleep but this is the last stop." I nodded and stood up trying to remember where this bus was supposed to stop. I got off and found myself in London. I groan as the bus leaves and sit on a bench taking my phone out.

The wind whips around me and I can feel it, but I can't hear it over the sound of busy people hustling around. I can't hear much of anything over the noise, but being here triggers my memories of bad times even though I was just here a couple days ago. When I look up I see the hospital I called my home for six years before quickly looking down, tears in my eyes.

Don't think.

Don't think.

My phone goes off then and I welcome the distraction. I answer quickly before anything else can enter my mind. "Hello?"

"Where the hell did ya go, mate?" Niall's voice crackles into my ear.

"Bus. London. Fell asleep," I mumble out. I don't want to think about London anymore but beaming here makes it hard to ignore.

I hear a sigh before mumbling and I know he's with my family telling them that I'm okay. I hear walking too and I get ready for Therapist Niall. "You went back to London?" he questions, and yeah, Niall is great at his job really.

"I didn't know. I just bought a random ticket and fell asleep on the bus. Niall I'm right outside of it." Knowing he'll get it I don't elaborate and get up because people are starting to gather for the next bus. My eyes roam the familiar city. I really only know this side of it because my room had a window faced this way. My stomach grumbles but every other part of me isn't hungry, I'm sick. I feel sick and I'm sick of feeling sick. I was sick for six years I want to feel better. I wipe tears from my eyes and keep walking. Who knows where I'll end up.

"Lou you need to come back. It's probably not healthy for you to be there." As if I don't know it.

"Yeah, I know. Niall, what happened when I left?"

Silence.

This is the silence you get when you ask a question you don't want the answer to. Apparently I don't want to know, but I do because maybe I just hate myself that much. "Harry, he umm, he came at me after. That guy, I'm assuming he's Zayn? He calmed him down after a while. I have notes. I want you to be here with me when I talk to you."

"I'll come home. I'll be back in like three hours. I need to catch the next bus,"  I said looking around where I had ended up. I would have to walk about two blocks back to the bus and I didn't even know if it was already gone. Another three hours to think about everything I'd rather not think about.

*******

"Lay it on me, Horan."

Once I got home I grabbed Niall off the couch and dragged him up stairs to my room before my family could ask questions.

"Well for one you still don't know how to handle your stress. I mean you ran out of there as fast as you tried to run from your second chemo session." I know he can tell by my cringe that that stung. He knew I didn't like speaking about that stuff, but I knew he liked to bring it up so I could try to deal with it.

"Yeah yeah," I brush off, "could you read Harry, though?"

"Louis, I don't know Harry like I know you, I can't just read him. Do you think I read minds?" Niall chuckles a bit. I try not to pout too much but Niall's laugh tells me I'm not doing so great. "Listen, obviously I know you still love him, and that must have hurt, but why run? Why not stay so that if he calmed down you could talk?"

"Niall, again, you can read me you must know this." I almost roll my eyes at how annoying this is.

"You know how this works, Louis. I ask questions even if I know the answer so that you can talk about them and feel better about the answer. We've been doing this for a while, Lou." I look up at him and he smiles sadly. I hug my knees and close my eyes.

"Because if he calmed down, in Zayn's arms, I was scared he would tell me he didn't want me. And he'd mean it," I force myself to say. My real fear revealed. I always knew Harry was a little out of my league. His body is nicer, his eyes are brighter, but he chose me. He wanted to be with me, and I loved it. Now, because I was gone, he's found someone who truest deserves him. I'm not ready for him to tell me, to acknowledge, that I'm not good enough and he doesn't want me anymore. I close my eyes again as I feel tears coming. Listening to the wind outside and Niall's pen lightly scratching the paper. Maybe if I just listen to all of the noises around me I can fall away.

Except I don't fall away and the next thing I know I'm at a bar trying to get drunk with Niall next to me trying to get me to leave. But I don't leave and my bad decisions have consequences. Like running into Zayn and Harry. And this time, I don't run, but man do I wish I had.

A/N: Only 998 words but I felt like that was the right place to end it. Woot! Another chapter down and I feel good about where this is going. I promise Larry will come about within the next two or three chapters. :)))