Demon Eyes [Nico Di Angelo]

Chapter 19

*Kayla's POV*

It was so strange, just seeing him break down like that. Hazel and I sat in utter silence, shock filling us as we heard Nico's broken sobs echo around the sterile white room. After all that has happened here, I will never be able to set foot in the infirmary ever again without nearly being pushed to a breaking point. In the past couple hours my world has been flipped upside down then put in a blender and set on chop.

Who knew Nico was capable of letting himself become so vulnerable?  Normally he acted as if he was the toughest demigod alive, as if everything was just dandy, as if he didn't hate himself. Right now that mask is laying strewn on the floor, too broken to work ever again. With his disguise gone, he gave into the beast-into the demon. Nico sat crosslegged on the floor, his back against the plaster wall, both his normal and wounded hand covering his face, and his whole body shakes as he's racked with sobs. Desperately, he tries to cover his cries, trying to keep them as hushed as possible. It reminds me of when I was thirteen, and cried myself to sleep at night because of silly things. Sympathy fills me with an odd warmth, giving me a pinch-like feeling in the gut. The discomfort grows when I look back on our earlier predicament, but I try my hardest to push it aside. Everyone makes stupid decisions when they are stressed or upset right? Surely he will forgive me, for unconsciously, I have already forgiven him.

Hesitatingly, I crawled forward on my hand and knees, giving Hazel a quick worried glance on the way to Nico. I'm glad she's here, because she must know how to calm her brother. Or at least how to control him in some way. If not...this might get a little bit interesting.

When I finally reach his shaky form, I'm not positive what to do, so I decide to start simple. Gently, I lay my hand lightly on his left shoulder, and keep it there. I can feel the tense muscles in his shoulder blades, and I know it will take more than a few simple hand gestures and some kind words and cheesy smiles to relax him. Oh joy.

"Hey. It's ok."

Cautiously, Nico peeks out from underneath his hand, like a little kid cheating when it's his turn to count in hide and seek. Drops of salt water continue to flow down his cheeks rapidly, and his dark brown eyes are already red and swollen. When he sees me, he at first just stays silent, looking me right in eye. So I repeat myself.

"It's ok Nico."

He shakes his head, and hides his face once more. "No, it's not."

I'm so surprised that he responded so quickly that I don't have time to answer before his hoarse voice speaks again.

"It never will be. Not ever."

I shake my head, and I gently grab his wrists, pulling his pale hands away from his face. Still shaking my head, I move closer to him, so our knees touch. I need to make him understand.

"Look at me. Nico, look at me." I whisper softly.

He shakes his head, and tries to break free from my grip. My grip just tightens, and I repeat it again and again until he finally meets my eyes. My heart pangs when I see more tears slip from his eyes, sliding down his cheeks, which miraculously, have been tinged a bright red from crying.

"I know that you tried your hardest. You always do, with everything. That's one of the reasons why I love you."

His head falls forward, his chin resting on his chest. Slowly he shakes his head, as if he saw my words coming and is disappointed in me.

"You shouldn't. " Is all he says.

"I shouldn't what?"

"Love me. You can't."