I Don't Want to Say No (Marliza)- Wattys 2017

Chapter 16- Nightmares, Candybar Cats, and Kisses

SORRY ITS REALLY SHORT GUYS BUT TODAYS MY BIRTHDAY AND I WANTED TO GET A CHAPTER OUT FOR YALLS TODAY!!! I hope you like this.

Tw- mentions of abuse + rape, mentions to the frickle frackle

I cried from happiness when Eliza proposed to me. She told me it was a promise ring because she wanted to not get married until after we graduate college.
"I love you," I tell her constantly. We go home after a week and a half with the new kitten, and I'm the happiest I've ever been.
We named the kitten Twix, and she was so sweet and cuddly. At night, she would sleep with me and Eliza when we slept in the same bed together, and she liked to cuddle with me if I had nightmares, like the ones that had come back shortly after James had seen me last.
Eliza was so sweet to me, and though Angelica had moved out, Peggy was still living at home, with her boyfriend and girlfriend visiting often. One night, about a week after we get back from Rome, I have a horrible nightmare.
It starts off wonderfully.
I am in the most beautiful wedding gown, it's sleek and white, with delicate bedazzled bits around the sweetheart neckline, and I wear a beautiful tiara in my hair. I am wearing a pair of sparkly white lace converse, and Theodosia and John Laurens are by my side.
"Ready for the big day?" John asks me with a bright smile.
"Big day?" I ask.
"Are you still hungover from your party last night?"
"Party? What party?"
"Maria! Today's your wedding!"
"My. . . Wedding?"
John sighs, and says, "Enough playing Maria. Today is you're wedding with Elizabeth Schuyler."
My face lights up. "I'm marrying Eliza!?"
He sighs once more, and exasperatedly says, "Yes. Now we need to go."
I smile and walk down to the wedding hall. The doors have just closed, which means Eliza just went inside. My mom is standing there, my dad having of left me and my family when I was thirteen.
She smiles at me brightly, and says, "I'm so happy that you found love with that wonderful Elizabeth Schuyler. I've never seen you this happy."
Everything inside me feels warm and fuzzy as my mom takes my hand and the doors open. Hercules is walking down the isle throwing flowers. And Eliza. She is so beautiful. She's in a ball gown, with a tiara matching mine. I stop for a second, looking at her, admiring her. She's so perfect. A tear slips down my cheeks, I'm so happy. When I get to the altar, we have our own written vows. I write her flowing pages of a love letter.
"Maria Reynolds, I have been with you for four years. . . And I have hated every second of it. I never once loved you. You should have just gone back to James. Every moment I look at you, I regret ever saving you from him. So I thought I should give him a chance to be able to do to you what he never could."
James walks up in a trashy costume. He pushes me to the wall, Alex near me being the minister. He goes up next to me, and whispers into my ear, "Hello darling."
James kisses me roughly, and I try to push him away. But then Eliza pushes me to the wall too, so that I couldn't run. That the person I loved the most hurt me the most.
Alex starts reading vows, and no matter my protests, Alex marrys James and me.
Suddenly, I'm in a hotel room, with James in the bathroom. Eliza is on the bed, passed out.
"No!" I say running over to her. She's naked. That must mean that James got to her too.
"No," I whisper tearfully, brushing stray hairs out of her face gently.
"She doesn't love you," I hear James say to me. "She never did. It was all a big plan to get you back. She really wanted me. It only took her a few beers to get her to consent."
"N-n-no," I whisper, stuttering. "P-please t-tell m-me y-you d-didn't h-hurt h-h-her."
"Oh no, she wanted it real, real bad."
I cry slightly and shake my head.
"And stop stuttering, it's annoying," he says, kissing my neck. I can't push him away. I can't help Eliza. I am helpless, but no longer in the good way.
I wake up with a start, tears stinging at the edges of my eyes. I am in my own bed, and Twix isn't there. I hear faint moans coming from the other room, and my heart stops with cold fear. I look at my clock. Three am.
But then, I hear the person saying them, breathily say out, "M-Maria."
I stand up, and walk to Eliza's room. I can hear her faint moans. I knock on the door, which swings open. And she's not cheating on me. That's not the only good part. She's in her cute pajamas that I am totally gay for, one hand underneath her waistband, the other covering her mouth, trying to quiet her gentle moans.
"Fuck," she whispers when she sees me. "S-Sorry Maria," she says looking sorta frightened.
"Sorry, I had a nightmare, and wanted to talk to you, but I can see you're busy, so uh, I'll go."
"No! Don't. Give me a second to freshen up in the bathroom, and then we can talk if you want. Or just sleep."
"Thanks," I whisper gently, my cheeks flushing bright red.
She walks to the bathroom, and I sit on the edge of the bed awkwardly. Eliza walks back into the room, her face tinted a bright red.
"Uh, sorry about that," she says, biting her lip.
"It's okay. It would be really hot if I hadn't had such a bad nightmare."
"Do you wanna talk about your nightmare?" She pulls back the blanket and pats the spot next to her.
I nod my head, sit next to her, and place my head on her shoulder. She rubs my back, and I begin to tell her about it.
"We were getting married," I begin.
"I hope that wasn't that part that was frightening you," she says with a small smile, holding my hand and running the pad of her finger over the jewel.
"No. I walked down the isle to you and everything was perfect. We had decided to do our own vows, and I wrote you a long love letter, but for your vows, you just laughed at me and you told me you never loved me. That it was all just for James to get back at me." I pause.
"Maria, I love you more than words can imagine." She presses a delicate kiss to my forehead.
"I love you too." I take a deep breath recounting that vivid and horrible dream. "Then, Alex married James and me. T-then, he we were in a hotel room." A silent tear rolls down my cheek.
"Hey, you don't have to continue this if you don't want to," she tells me in a soothing and gentle voice. She rubs my back as I shake my head.
"I have to. So, James and I were in a hotel room, and you were in the bed, passed out. And I tried to make sure you were okay, but James. . . He told me that he got you drunk and he raped you. . ." I let out a small sob. "Eliza, I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you. I love you too much."
She sweetly tucks a loose lock of hair behind my ear and kisses me slowly on the lips. She gives me enough time to pull away if I wanted to. But I don't. She doesn't hold me to her so I could push her off me if I wanted to. But I don't. I relish in the feeling of her being there. Just being there for me. No one else has, and I love her so much.
I pull away after a long moment, and ask, "Y-you're okay with just kissing, right? Because I don't want to lead you on and leave you hanging. . ." James had always gotten really pissed at me if I pulled away and 'lead him on'.
"Maria, you're not leading me on. If you don't want to do something, we won't do it. As for just kissing, being able to have kissed you once in my life is a gift from the heavens that I will never be able to repay."
I'm flustered by her words, and I don't know what to say. "Uh, thanks. I, uh, god, I love you too so much, but you leave me speechless."
She kisses me gently, reminding me of her love, instead of forcing her dominance on me. Now, I am helpless in a good way.

I hope yalls liked the chapter