The Race by jordy20th

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jordy20th
The Race

The remaining air in my lungs rushed out as my feet met the hard ground. Adrenaline was coursing throughout my entire body, as well as happiness with a slight hint of fear. I could hear the footfalls of my pursuer getting closer and closer with every second, keeping my body alert and moving. I couldn't let Tim reach me; I had to keep going. I rounded the corner of the track, that I had been on so many times that I could follow it with my eyes closed, and headed towards the tall grassy fields. He was getting closer; I could feel it.

The sound of my feet hitting the soft grass reminded me of a couple of months before when Tim and I sat in the fields enjoying a picnic. We had originally set out to collect the sheep, but he had gotten up earlier that day and already done it, surprising me with a basket full of jam sandwiches and apple juice instead. We spent the whole day out there and even part of the night, lying next to each other and watching the stars shine down on us, speaking of what we would do after high school and where we would go.

I wanted to go to the darkest place on Earth, where we could lay forever and watch the stars, and he said that he wanted to go to wherever the world would take him. I promised that wherever he went I would follow suit, because we are twins and twins stick together, no matter what.

I awoke from my day dream heart-pounding and alert, as I reached the end of the field, the house in sight. It was as big as the Earth and as beautiful as the sky. I had almost won.

I sprinted, using up all of my remaining energy, to the large apple tree next to the house- the finish line; I was almost there. The sound of my feet pounding on the concrete signified that I was about 100m away. Today I was going to win. Today I was finally going to beat Tim. Today I was going to be the champion.

A wide, beaming smile spread across my face as my fingers touched the rough, old bark of the apple tree, signifying my win. I began to jump and shout and make as much noise as I possibly could, which our neighbours more than 15km away would have been able to hear. I couldn't believe that I had finally won, after years and years of being beaten every time, I had finally won!

"Looks like you're getting slow!" I joked, turning around to see the tongue that he would most likely be poking out at me.

But he wasn't there.

"Tim?" I called.

No answer.

I decided to walk back along the track. Maybe he had stopped for a breath or maybe he had hurt himself and couldn't go on anymore.

I couldn't remember when I had last heard his footsteps. I was so overwhelmed with the realisation that I was winning that I stopped listening and only focused on myself.

After the first few hundred metres, there was still no sign of him. I started to pick up a semi-sprint. He had to be there somewhere.

"Tim?" I continued to call. "Tim, where are you?"

Still no reply.

I was starting to get scared. What if something really bad had happened to him? What if he had fallen over and bumped his head or something and I was too caught up in myself to hear him. What if I would never find him?

I told myself that I was being silly. Tim would know how to make his way back; we both knew this place like the back of our hand. He would never be lost forever, he couldn't be.

I continued on, picking up the pace. It had been at least 20 minutes now and there was still no sign of him. Once I had reached the first corner, near the start of the track, I went back towards the house. Thinking that maybe he had already returned home.

At the house, there was still no sign of Tim. He wasn't in his room or in the kitchen getting a drink. He wasn't in the shower or out with the sheep. I had no idea where he was. I turned back towards the door, heading out to look for him again, when the calendar in the hallway caught my eye.

Sunday 19th March: Tim's Anniversary.

I had to read it many times through blurry, watery eyes before I fully registered its meaning.

Tim had died two years ago. I hadn't been racing him; I was racing myself. He was never there. There was no way that I would have won if he had of been, he was always too fast. I had just spent 30 minutes searching for someone that had not been there for two years! Two years! There was no way that Tim had been dead for two years! He couldn't have been. It was just a few months before that we had had a picnic out in the lush, just-flowering fields, or was that just me by myself as well? Tim couldn't be dead! He just couldn't.

We had so many plans together. We were going to go to the darkest place on Earth and we were going to go travelling around Australia and we were going to see where the world would take us! There was no way that Tim was dead. There was just no way!

Tears continued to roll down my face as I fell onto the floor. My brain reminded me of all of the events before Tim's death by running through them like some sick twisted movie, adding to the pain. All of those countless hours watching Tim go through chemotherapy, seeing him go through all of that agony. Seeing him at his worst, promising him that he was going to be okay, that he was going to make it through this and once he was all better we promised each other that we were going to go on our adventures. He promised.

I sat up and wiped the tears off my face, using the wall to help me up. I headed into Tim's room and searched under his bed for the small blue box that held all of our memories, hopes and dreams.

I pulled it out and placed it on his bed, ripping the top off and sorting through its contents: some old flyers of where we were going to go together, a few pictures of us hanging out on the farm, and more than a handful of money.

It was there and then that I decided I was going to go and do the things that we said we were going to do, and Tim, even though he wasn't really there, was going to come with me. Because Tim would always be in my heart; we are twins and twins stick together no matter what.

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