Loving Life

Chapter 35: Ervin

School has gone by fast. I found an interest in farming, and am employed at a nearby farm. Todd and I have almost every class together. We also managed to gain another gamer friend named Greg Wilson. In the end, I gave in and opted to live with my parents and Leslie. So far, we haven't killed each other. Yet. In fact, I feel as if I've gotten better with her. Maybe I'll have kids of my own.

    With Mattie?

    Mattie. Mattie never called or texted me in the last eight months.

    Todd keeps joking about how he knew Mattie was, again, already or will cheat on me which makes me feel even worse. Is he right, or is she so busy with school that she doesn't have time for me?

    During lunch, Greg, Todd, and I are shoveling down food, all while trying to cram in extra info for all of our third try on the ACT test coming up next hour. We've gotten caught a couple times studying in class when we shouldn't have. The other times our parents wanted us to do better. But they were just as rich as they are now, and wanted to get their Bachelors and Masters Degrees when they were in high school. But none of us plan on doing that. Todd and I are just still surprised that we found another guy with the same hobbies as us, and doesn't appreciate school as much as our parents want us to.

    As usual, Greg finishes first and says, "So, I've got a buddy I've been friends with even though I moved from Langston, and he's having a graduation party the night Langston students graduate—the twenty-fifth—and he told me I should invite as many people as possible."

    I perk up. I never forgot about Mattie and where she went, ahem Langston. Will she be there? Todd notices my change of energy level and shoves me. "Shut up, Ervin. She won't be there."

    "You wait and see."

After taking the thought home, Todd can't go because his parents realize he would much rather stay home and party with them than go to parties. I feel bad since I'm not Mary and Dustin's actual son and say I can do whatever I want and decide to go. Todd socks me on the head, calling me crazy. They still think of me as their son, and probably will never forget the time I lived with them for a while.

    He follows me to the car when I should go. When I open the car door, he holds it open while I climb inside. Leaning against it, he peers at me, reminding me, "You're gonna have your heart broken tonight."

    "Yeah, I know. You've said that how many times this month." I glare at him. So much for not killing each other during the school year.

    "Whatever. Text me when you leave." He slams the door closed and retreats back to the house by means of stomping. I shrug and drive away.

    The lull of traffic and the darkness of night and the street lamps make my mind wander. The closer we get, the more Deja vu sense I get. What if he's right? Mattie is my first actual girlfriend I guess, and so I don't know what 'heartbreak' feels like. From the guys who had a girlfriend since first grade, they've obviously had tons of heartbreaks and the older they got, the more having a girlfriend sounded like a bad idea. Mattie was an exception.

    No, I can't be pessimistic now that I'm so close to meeting Mattie again after so long.

    Half an hour later, I pull up to what must be Kyle Sanders' lane. Neon lights glow randomly around the yard, particularly the garage. At least twenty cars sit off to the side. I park next to them and stride up to the garage, loud rock music blaring, the sharp smell of alcohol, and tons of people yelling in the blue light.

    Greg pushes past people, grabbing my elbow. "C'mon," he yells over the noise. Someone passing thrusts their plastic cup in my hand. I start to drink it when I realize the bitter taste is alcohol. I spit it out and throw the cup away.

    Greg plops me down on the patio stairs on the other side of the house. The music is so loud, even back here is terrible.

    "Isn't this illegal?" I ask when he's ear level.

    He shrugs. "Lots of seniors do this on graduation. Technically we have a reason to celebrate. Besides, it won't get that out of hand."

    Hmm, I don't know about that.

    Greg and I continue our chat about stuff while more people arrive. Just glancing around, I recognize an unmistakable hair color—my favorite shade of red—thickness and height—thin and medium--and dress that has changed, but I still remember—short denim jeans and a small tank top hand in hand with a huge, muscular guy.

    Conversations slowly ending.

    In those few, she may have mentioned a guy named Kyle Sanders who plays on the football team.

    This guy looks like he's on the football team. He also looks like I don't want to mess with him.

    Everything comes together from the past few months and I know Todd has always been right.

    God, I am such an idiot.