Third Degree

chapter thirty-five.

Thalia's POV

I can't help but continuously pace the kitchen. I should've been asleep four hours ago. But I can't sleep. It's been a week since Nate and I broke up, and a day since he finished moving all of his stuff out.

I stare at the same piece of paper that I've been staring at for two hours. It's crumpled and has a small coffee stain, but it's still legible.

It's Grayson's hotel information. 

After years of complete ignorance, I had to do it. I had to drive myself back to his hotel room, I made the mistake of letting him slip out of my fingers once, and then I pushed him away, again, a little over a month ago, and it was an absolute mistake.

He is still my everything.

Finding his hotel room was easy, knocking was easy, but waiting for him to open the door wasn't.

The seconds felt like months, the minutes felt like years and by the time he opened the door, it felt like lifetimes had passed. The lifetimes had allowed doubt to seep into me, and I almost regretted showing up. i almost walked away, but the door opened.

"Oh, hey.. I didn't expect you to come.." He gives a small, pained smile. My heart clenches.. I'm the reason for the pain behind his smile. He notices the sleeping child in my arms and lets me in as I speak.

"Well, I did... And I miss you.." I blush,what a response. "Can I leave him on the bed and we talk?"

He nods and points towards a door. "Of course." He leads me to the bedroom and I tuck Theo in before shutting the door and facing Grayson.

"What did you wanna talk about?" He asks, running his hands through his wet hair. He must've taken a shower.

"Us.." He nods for me to continue, so I take a deep breath. "Why did you let me leave?" I bite my lip. Do I really want to hear the answer..?

"You didn't want me..." He looks at his hands and fiddles with his thumbs.

"You didn't call or anything! I just wanted you to call me and write to me and be there for me!" I sniffle and he flinches slightly, making me feel bad.

"You don't understand..." He sighs and looks at the clock.

"Then explain it to me!" I demand, crossing my arms.

"You won't understand it!" He glares, his voice slightly raising in volume.

"Why? What won't I understand? I won't understand why you didn't want me?!" I counter without thinking. Oh god, what have I just started?

"It isn't like that!" It became too overwhelming for me to process his words, and I began to crave his lips against mine. Anger gave way into lust as he kept speaking, but I wasn't listening anymore.

"And I said I was sorry fo-" I stop him and get slightly angrier.

"Shut up and kiss me, you fool." And like that, without a question, his lips were against mine, kissing me with every emotion in his body; anger, happiness, sadness, desperation and lust.

I returned it all, and I deepened it, putting all of my  raging and unstable emotions into it too. I push him onto the couch and straddle him, letting one hand curl its way around his damp hair and the other hand crumples his t-shirt into a tight ball.

I am so desperate for him.

I looked back into his eyes, the same ones I used to call home, and my heart hurt. There was still fire in his eyes, but ours had burned out. But this new fire burned right into my soul, threatening to reignite what we had. But at what cost? At this point, being on fire was a decision of my own. Is it the fire that I like? Is it the burn? As my soul turns into dust and ash, I still can't figure it out. Do I want to burn or not?

His hands begin to roam, all over my body, up my shirt and onto my hungry skin. His heat begins to run through my body and my blood rushes as my mind screams his name over and over again, exactly what I long to do.

He groans and his voice causes my very soul to quiver. He's got me all over again, all of me. 

I want to burn, so, so bad.

I decide to advance and grind, earning a pleasing noise from the depths of his throat.

Slowly, our clothes come off and the room only seems to get hotter and hotter, as every single object around us begins to melt away, and it's just leaving us two, on a dirty, hotel couch.

And finally, the last of our clothes flies onto the floor, but he pauses, unsure.

"Are you sure you want to do this? We don't have to." he bites his lip and keeps his burning hands on my eager skin. His eyes are filled with an untamed flame that seems to consume him. Let me burn with you too.

I blush furiously and stare into his eyes, "Who's the one who started it?" I crack the smallest of smirks as I continue to tease him, our bareness connecting in ever so pleasing ways, but it isn't quite close enough.

"You've got a good point there." He smirks and grinds back, trying to hold out. I use moves from the last time we were together, hoping that time hasn't changed his pleasures.

He growls and curses under his breath. I shiver. I shiver from it all, the rawness, the intensity, the passion of it all. I missed him, and all of his entirety, not just the sex, the sex is just a simple reminder... 

A reminder of what we threw away in the heat of an argument that we were too stubborn to fix for the longest time. The time we spent apart changed us, it changed everything, from how we looked, to how we felt and touched, and especially how we loved, but it was still somehow the same.. We were still the same people, in the same world, with the same, changed love.

The love was still there, and even if it was a bit dented and maybe cracked, we knew how perfect we were for each other. He was yin and I was yang. We were meant for each other.

And all of this was reminded by sex. Such a sinful, dirty thing that brought us together... In what feels like the purest way. It was all so pure, although we were not.

And it seems that, just to prove our lack of purity, he began to leave love bites all down my neck, marks that mean I'm his.

I continue to tease, grinding lightly and slowly, and he growls, biting down on one particular piece of skin, making me moan.

"You know what teasing does to me," he mutters against my skin. I can't help but bask in the moment, even if it's just for a second, it's too good not to bask in.

"Maybe that's the point." I mutter back, grinding harder. And as expected, the teasing makes him become a little more dominant and aggressive. He flips us and suddenly, I'm on my back while he pays special attention to my breasts and collar bones.

"Fuck.." I moan out and grip his hair, grinding again.

"Fuck, baby." He begins to gently circle around the entrance, and my hips twitch. 

Baby. Baby. Baby. 

If only he knew how much it means for him to call me baby again. I can't help myself when I pull him and try to get him to slip in, and he can't help it when he puts it in and immediately thrusts.

We can't help it when we moan loudly, and together, at 2 am because it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters except us. 

Us.

We lay down on the couch, holding each other's bare bodies. I missed this.

He sits up and hands me my underwear and his shirt while he pulls on boxers and his sweats. Once we're dressed again, he pulls me over him and we lay down, holding each other close, almost as if we'd lose each other again if we didn't.

"Get some sleep, beautiful."

"You too, Gray." My eyes start to flutter shut as he kisses my forehead.

"I love you so much... Thank you for taking me back."

"I love you. And thank you for letting me." I smile and kiss him softly. We both end up sleeping peacefully for the first time in a long time.

Us.