Third Degree

chapter eleven.

Thalia's POV

Just a couple days after graduation, Grayson's parents had helped us get our own apartment. I assume Lisa had been the one to suggest it because of the baby.

Grayson and I were so excited, we immediately moved his bed there and started packing. Now, a month later, we're laying here, holding each other for the last night before he leaves for university. The drive to and from lasts quite a while, meaning he'll be living on site.

"I am going to miss you so damn much." I sniffle, gently smoothing his hair back. He tries to crack jokes to lighten the mood.

"I'm going to miss you and our bed." I giggle softly as he sneaks a hand into my shirt and he grabs one of my breasts as he speaks.

"And these- woah!" He lifts my shirt and I immediately blush.

"What are you doing?!" I attempt to pull my shirt back down, but he has me sit up and he's now cupping both boobs.

"Your boobs definitely grew." He states and nods before letting my shirt fall back down. My heart speeds up, knowing exactly why, but I continue to avoid it.

"Because I gained weight, remember?" I state, trying to hide the nervousness I'm experiencing. When will the symptoms click in his head?

I see the suspicion flash in his eyes before he nods. "Well, I'm going to miss every single bit of you." He softly states as a small smile begins to form.

"I'll miss you too babe."

The next morning, I wake up to the sound of Grayson groaning in his sleep. I turn and hug him close, and he seems to relax before he wakes up. I check the time and notice it's already 9 in the morning.

"Good morning babe." I smile and kiss his cheek before standing up and noticing the aching in my back. Second trimester is a blast.

"Morning..." He sighs and sits up, holding his face. I somehow know he's thinking about having to leave within the next six hours. My stomach growls as I sigh and head to the kitchen. Breakfast goes by quietly and so does lunch. The only thing we've done all day is cuddle and enjoy holding each other, little to no talking.

By the time 1 pm rolls around, all his stuff is by the door, ready for when he leaves at 3 pm. I start to feel so hopeless, and I want to tell him so damn bad. But I can't.

The feelings worsen as the minutes tick by. I don't want him to leave. I want him to stay here with me, to hold me and help me and to love me... and our baby. The hopelessness persists, I feel as if my time is running out and my tears threaten to fall.

It's 2 pm now and we're quietly sitting on the bed, facing each other.

"Fuck," he mutters, his voice thick and filled with so many unspoken emotions. He chuckles sadly. "This is way harder than I imagined." He tries to laugh away the tears in his eyes.

I only nod in agreement, fearing that if I even attempted to speak, I'd burst into tears.

"God fucking damn it," he laughs again, sounding muffled by the thickness of tears that have yet to fall. "I can't even begin to express what I want to." He sighs.

I sniffle as I hug him tightly. "I love you... So so so so fucking much. I love you so much that I would selfishly ask you to stay, but you're not allowed to because you're going to fucking ace university. You got that, Gray?" My sniffles only become louder as he chuckles softly.

"Of course my love. Let me get dressed real quick..." He pulls away and my heart aches, seeing the pain in his eyes.

Grayson's POV

I finish getting dressed and turn to meet her beautiful brown eyes, tinged with red from holding back tears. Tears spring back into my eyes as I remember why we're standing like this, memorizing every single detail about each other. As if we didn't already have each other etched into our brains.

I don't dare move from where I'm standing. This is the perfect view I'll remember best. Her, in our room, in my shirt, standing here with me. My heart clenches as she sniffles and sighs.

"We should start loading up your stuff." She whispers, almost as if she's already drained of energy. 

I shake my head, "I'll do it." I quickly load my bags and boxes and soon, I turn the car on as she watches me from the doorway. My heart grows heavier as I take my final steps towards her.

"Hey there, cutie." I smile, trying to lighten the mood. She smiles sadly and I can feel her sadness as well.

"Hi babe." She practically whispers. Why does this all feel so wrong?

After a couple of silent moments, I can't help but blurt out, "I love you."

"And I love you." She smiles. I finally hug her close, taking in her scent, her touch, her everything. 

"You better make those g-grades worth it." she tries to joke, but she's too close to crying to sound carefree and happy. She only sounds broken and hurt.

"I promise you I will." I kiss her hair as I pull away and I bite my lip. "I have to go, Lia." I nearly choke up as I speak. Her eyes brim with even more tears as she shakily breathes in and nods.

"Drive safe, I love you." She smiles through her pain. I nod and get in the car.

"I love you, stay safe and go to my parents for absolutely anything." I buckle up and begin to back up. She nods and is in the house before I even fully pull away. A part of me wants to be hurt by that, but I do not allow myself for two reasons.

One, that's just plain old selfish. And two? I know she only did it so I wouldn't have to see her cry. My chest tightens at the thought of her crying in our apartment at this exact moment. She is so so strong, and she'll probably be angry at herself for crying, but I know that not even the strongest person could've held themselves together as well as she did.

Through it all, as I pass our mailboxes, I can't shake the feeling that I'm making a mistake by leaving, but I brush it off. It's probably only my wolf wanting our mate back. But I have to do this if I want to change pack ways and create a wonderful life for her. I have to finish university so I can give her the best possible future. The future she deserves.